Table of contents:
- How attentive and empathetic are you? Do you like to experiment, or prefer not to discuss something new? Check yourself on the list
- 1. Attention and care
- 2. Creating an atmosphere
- 3. Don't jump over steps
- 4. “How do I want? As you want?" Questions are important
- 5. Affectionate words after intimacy
- 6. Did something go wrong? Talk about it
- 7. Experiment only by mutual agreement
Video: 7 Mistakes Of A Man In Bed - Relationship, Sex
2023 Author: Oswald Adamson | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-05-21 20:18
How attentive and empathetic are you? Do you like to experiment, or prefer not to discuss something new? Check yourself on the list
1. Attention and care
Here is a typical situation, incomprehensible to many men and understandable to every woman. The husband comes home in the evening, has dinner, watches TV or plays a computer game. Then he and his wife go to bed. He begins to "pester" her, and she says: "No, I don't want to." - "Why?" He asks. “No mood,” the wife replies.
The man does not understand what is wrong, and is offended, or angry, or both.
If we ask a woman to explain why she does not seek intimacy with her husband, she will answer something like this: “He practically did not pay attention to me all day, we almost did not communicate, only on business. He did not say pleasant words to me, was not interested in how I was doing, did not show attention and tenderness all day - and now I have to want intimacy with him? Why did it happen?"
Men often do not understand that for a woman, making love is a way of expressing her feelings for a partner. This is not only physiology, but above all emotions and experiences. And when a woman did not have pleasant emotions and positive experiences during the day (or a longer time), then she does not have a desire or attraction.
It is pointless to be angry or offended, this is how female sexuality works, and its features must be taken into account. How? Showing attention, taking care of your wife, not only in the evenings.
2. Creating an atmosphere
“I'm standing at the stove, cutting a salad. Then he comes up from behind, hugs me and drags me to bed. I could hardly restrain myself so as not to hit him on the forehead with a rolling pin!"
What's wrong with this story? Of course, at the stage of romantic love, most likely, a man's hugs will be enough for a woman to have an erotic response. But then, when the emotions subside, it won't be enough.
For many men, attraction turns on quickly, it is enough to look at your beloved woman, dream a little or remember something pleasant - and you're done.
A woman needs more time and certain conditions to disconnect from worries and readjust to the wave of sensuality and intimacy. Grabbing her in an armful and dragging her to bed when she is not at all in the mood for intimacy is hardly appropriate. Yes, it happens that the attraction turns on later in the process.
However, sexologists advise men not to rush and "kindle" the fire of desire in their partner gradually. For example, turn on pleasant music, gently touch your beloved's hand, whisper tender words in her ear.
3. Don't jump over steps
"Repetition is the mother of learning," so I have to say it again about the prelude. The man feels very aroused and wants to move on to the next stage, but the woman is not yet ready for sex, either psychologically or physiologically. Foreplay is needed then to get the partner excited.
If you skip this stage, then the woman may be unpleasant or even painful to have sexual intercourse. There is nothing to say about an orgasm in such conditions. And the repetition of such unpleasant sensations can lead to the fact that over time she does not want intimacy at all. Conclusion for men: foreplay is a must.
4. “How do I want? As you want?" Questions are important
One of the most common complaints from women to a sexologist is that a man only cares about his own satisfaction. This also applies to the process of intimacy and its completion. A man focuses only on himself when choosing a position and other moments.
Once satisfied, he is not interested in whether the woman is satisfied. Such an attitude towards a partner will gradually destroy sexual relations in a couple. There can be only one recommendation here - to be sensitive, to take into account the desires and peculiarities of each other's temperaments.
5. Affectionate words after intimacy
And again about a well-known (but no less relevant) error. After orgasm, the man feels relaxation, satisfaction and a desire to rest or even fall asleep. And a woman has energy, emotions and a desire not to distance herself from her beloved, but, on the contrary, to continue to experience connection and intimacy.
Therefore, when, after intimacy, a man turns away and falls asleep, the partner is unpleasant. The stronger sex needs to know about this and be sure to devote a few minutes after the completion of intercourse to gentle strokes, kisses, and gentle words.
6. Did something go wrong? Talk about it
Only fictional supermen are unaware of sexual problems; real living men have glitches and misfires. A person is not a sexual machine, he has emotions, mood, well-being, health, and something can go wrong. Because of stereotypes and wrong attitudes, men are ashamed of erection problems, premature ejaculation and other similar situations. Because of a sense of shame and other negative experiences, men do not want to talk about these topics either with their wife or with a specialist.
A failure caused by a coincidence of circumstances will go away by itself, and everything will return to normal. But when the problem recurs, you need to talk about it with your partner, as well as consult with a psychologist-sexologist. There is nothing to be ashamed or ashamed of; the main thing is not to wind yourself up and not delay the start of treatment.
7. Experiment only by mutual agreement
The uniqueness of the sexual sphere is that we want predictability, security, and new sensations in it. Often a man is the initiator of experiments, and this is good. The bad news is that men sometimes put excessive pressure on their partners, seek to force events, insist on their own. But it's one thing when it comes to just going to a sex shop and purchasing, for example, a cream or a vibrator, and quite another when a man wants, for example, to try threesome sex or take part in a swinger party.
It is more difficult for a woman to decide on such experiments, and here it is not necessary to press and insist. Moreover, it is worth considering and discussing such steps more than once, since their consequences are far from always as positive as we would like. But even if one decides on such an experience, it is not under pressure, but only by mutual desire and consent.