Treason. Lies To Salvation - Relations

2023 Author: Oswald Adamson | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-05-21 20:18

This topic is classified as "completely forbidden." She is so delicate that there can be no single recommendations here. What happened in your life - an adventure or a fatal mistake? How to proceed with this? Draw conclusions, cross out the past, write from scratch …

There are no black and white conclusions in this story, there are many shades in it, and in which to paint your future, it's up to you. The paradox is that society treats male and female adultery differently. In the male world, the fact of betrayal is easier to explain, because the myth of the “polygamy” of men is still alive. And if a woman tries on a fatal role, it will be difficult to find understanding from others. Rather, condemnation and anger await the traitor.

We are so different

If we turn to Sigmund Freud, we will find another justification for the pattern of male cheating. Ostensibly human males obey the call of nature and must do as much as possible in order for their race to continue. And women don't need it. Their main task is to find a worthy father for future offspring. Therefore, for a long time, a woman does not seek to increase the number of her chosen ones, she just wants to find the best. It seems to find it. But it so happens that after a while she realizes that it is not him. The result is disappointment and the search for a new partner. Female infidelity is always serious and about feelings.

The path to adultery

Love

The standard plot is a cute neighbor, colleague, family friend. A man who pays more attention than a spouse. A couple of glances, as if filled with meaning, a few "random" meetings, a sincere conversation - these circumstances may well lead to a joint breakfast in bed. This is a story about a lack of attention. About dislike, about emotional abandonment, in which that truly female energy is impossible, capable of awakening in a man the desire to move mountains for the sake of his beloved.

The mistake is that a woman sincerely assumes a man's gift for reading minds. Instead, it's best to initiate a calm conversation and voice all of your emotional needs. There is nothing shameful or unimportant here.

Mismatch of sexual temperaments

It's no secret that sex is the most important part of a relationship. Physical intimacy is one of the important sources of happiness hormones, without which human health is at risk. Strengthening the neural pathways responsible for sexuality, the production of oxytocin, which promotes trust, is all about sex. The absence of problems in this area allows maintaining mutual interest and attraction to each other.

Straightforward conversation before you decide to dive into the whirlpool can clarify a lot. You are not strangers, you can speak openly. And a confidential conversation one-on-one is so sexy.

Revenge

Another of the top reasons for a one-time love adventure is "he is to blame," "the first to start," "he forced me." Usually, these phrases manifest not a reaction to an action, but an accumulated resentment. This form of betrayal is rather a provocation and the statement “Well, how do you like it now?”. This is a "malignant" variant of adultery, and it is unlikely that it will be possible to leave it unnoticed. Yes, and it is doubtful that a woman who cheated for the sake of revenge will hide her act. Even if due to external circumstances it is not openly said about it, she will leave a "trace" of her crime, subconsciously hoping that it will be revealed.

Depressed self-esteem

Emotional devastation, problems with a spouse, lack of confidence in the future. Or, perhaps, a real psychological abuse that turns a woman into a frightened victim. These are all reasons for low self-esteem.

This state makes you desperately seek confirmation of your importance in the eyes of another man. Goal: to escape and calm down with someone strong next to you. Most often, such problems in the family require the participation of a specialist. A psychologist will help identify the true reasons for such "polygamy" and, perhaps, life will change.

Life after. What to do?

So it happened. It didn't get any easier, the burden of a shameful secret presses from within, not allowing to breathe deeply. And now a woman, under the weight of guilt, is entangled in a network of invented (including) mistakes and is ready to confess everything. At this moment, you should pull yourself together, stop and think it over well.

We were taught from childhood to always tell only the truth. We were clearly shown the boundaries of what is permitted and right. And of course, treason is betrayal. And betrayal is bad. We are talking about a situation when cheating is a mistake and a woman realizes that family is the most valuable thing.

One wants to atone for a perfect bad deed in order to get rid of the burning feeling of guilt. And as if on purpose, you start to see reproachful signs everywhere that push you to repent, to obey. As if reminding that one cannot keep such a stone in oneself.

Calm down. You have already done everything wrong, now it's time to ask yourself the question: who needs your truth?

You? To throw a stone off your soul? You will tell everything, obey, but catharsis, alas, will not come. Two people will already suffer. It turns out that you have shared the burden of responsibility with your unsuspecting husband. This is selfish. Have you made a mistake and want to save your family at all costs? Then your remorse is your payback for what you have done. Nobody said that it would be easy.

If your goal is to keep the family together, do not forget that no one knows how a man will react to a confession of cheating. Rage, resentment, aggression is a completely adequate response to your actions. If you want to preserve, not destroy, remember that even a generous and forgiving man will never forget the fact of your betrayal. Is it worth it?

Silence is gold

You have chosen marriage. They repented and decided not to say anything. Is this a lie? Rather yes. There are no perfect people, we all make mistakes. You honestly evaluated your action, made your choice.

By repenting and keeping your secret, you begin to look at your partner and your relationship in a new way. You now clearly understand what it means to destroy and that the word "never" is very shaky. This may well become the very path to a new, conscious and happy life next to your loved one.