The Stigma Of Completeness. Fat To Be Ashamed? - Quality Of Life, Society

Being overweight is scary, ashamed and embarrassing. Modern society can forgive you if you take away sweets from children, organize financial pyramids, cover yourself with wool on the full moon and howl at the moon. But if you are overweight, they will look at you askance, chuckle condemningly, accuse you of weakness and gluttony, exchange glances behind your back, gossip and demonstrate their disapproval in every possible way

Completeness at the beginning of the 21st century is stigmatized. Perhaps this is the worst sin of our time. Have you noticed that now there is a fairly large number of TV shows in which the main character becomes a psychopathic killer and his image is romanticized? Dexter, Hannibal, Method. They say that he is not such a villain, it is all childhood traumas to blame, he must be "understood and forgiven" … It turns out that the viewer can forgive cruelty and murder. But not completeness!

Try to remember a series in which the main positive character will be a fat man, or even more so a fat woman. There are clearly not so many of them. So the viewer is not ready to accept the fullness?

Fat people (or simply "in the body", which does not correspond to the rigid canon of our time) find themselves in a difficult position. They become a kind of outcasts, even if it is not said openly. And we treat ourselves the way they treat us, and if a person is constantly faced with rejection and rejection of his body, he begins to dislike it himself. Rejects his own body, condemns its imperfection. The bottom line? Self-esteem and dignity, quality of life, social connections suffer.

Why exactly is fullness the target of negative projections and emotions?

1. Alas, both individuals and society as a whole sometimes need a "lightning rod" for the accumulated negative. Instead of dealing with the true causes of internal discontent, it is easier for someone to find an external reason for relaxation. In medieval Europe there was a "witch hunt", in Nazi Germany Jews suffered. And for some now, overweight people are becoming a convenient "lightning rod".

2. The fight against excess weight is fueled by the large-scale beauty industry - a multimillion-dollar business, and the goal of any business is profit. How to get the consumer to buy multiple products and services? The psychological factor is connected - it is very easy to play on someone else's narcissistic complex. "Am I good enough?" A person wants to look “good” both in the eyes of others and in his own, to preserve his dignity. Even small children feel this intuitively when they take their friends "weakly": "And how poorly can you jump into the nettles?" And they easily fall for this simple manipulation: they want to maintain self-esteem and not lose respect.

Any advertisement is a manipulation, an attempt to influence someone else's behavior: "Come in, hurry, buy a picture!" - as the hero said in a famous film. Manipulations involving the narcissistic complex (the feeling of one's own "goodness") are usually very effective

Note that many of these manipulations are not even about being “good”; they are aimed at simply not being "bad." The beauty industry often encourages people not to “be beautiful” and not “to be ugly”.

3. There is an interesting psychological assumption that the modern canons of beauty speak of … the hidden attraction to death. In the old days, fullness was considered a sign of beauty and health, especially among women. Indeed, women of a picnic physique have fewer problems with childbirth than representatives of the athletic and asthenic types. The word "thin" in Russian still means "bad", that is, something negative: "A thin world is better than a good quarrel."

The beginning of the XXI century is a difficult period. A modern person has a fairly high level of anxiety and aggression (even if it does not manifest itself directly, but is suppressed). The consequence of this may be an unconscious focus not on life, but on death

After World War II, when millions died, people fought for life. The vector of attraction in society went towards life. And if we recall the actresses who set the canons of beauty in the post-war period, then these are women who at the beginning of the 21st century would clearly have been considered fat. Marilyn Monroe wore size 48, which is unheard of for Hollywood beauties of our time: now the size range is 42–44 (and the growth of actresses has increased significantly). Why did this change take place?

Psychoanalysis says that two opposite tendencies coexist in a person: one leads to death, the other to life. In periods when a person is in danger, the desire to live may, in contrast, increase. So, one of my clients said that in his youth he thought about suicide, but almost drowned in a stormy sea, fought the waves, swam out and after that left all thoughts of suicide. In times of war and epidemics, the number of suicides decreases. But life in a prosperous society can provoke a desire for death.

4. Another possible reason for the development of a fashion for thinness (and a predominantly female body) is the unconscious struggle with the overpopulation of the planet. After the war, with its multimillion-dollar losses, women with a picnic physique were popular, they have a higher probability of successful childbearing. At the beginning of the XXI century, the planet is overpopulated, and a type of female body, reminiscent of a male, little adapted for childbirth, is becoming fashionable.

Please note: many recognized beauties from the modeling and acting environment have serious problems with pregnancy, gestation, childbirth

Overweight or not overweight?

Do not think that this article is in defense of excess weight, no. We are for bodily and psychological health, which means that we are against ostracism in relation to overweight people and the stigmatism of overweight. We are for healthy contact with reality. So, we must first figure out what “completeness” is.

You can distinguish "healthy obesity" and "obesity". And only a doctor can determine which category a person belongs to. There are many details to consider: age, body fat percentage, etc.

Healthy fullness is a person's bodily features, his body is within the framework of the medical norm, but at the same time it may not fit into the Procrustean bed of the modern beauty industry. In modern society, healthy people with a picnic physique are perceived as "overweight", although objectively they are not - they do not have "excess" weight, they just differ from people of asthenic and athletic types.

It is important to understand and accept your own characteristics, limitations. For example, a man in his 20s and 50s will have different weights and proportions, and this is normal. After pregnancy, a woman's metabolism may change. By virtue of their characteristics, "picnics" easily get fat, and it is difficult for them to lose weight. Everyone assimilates products in different ways, someone needs more food during the day, someone less.

But obesity is a problem, a diagnosis. But it must be delivered by a specialist - a doctor. I know a case when a woman saw a regular weight gain, worried, lost weight until she realized that she was pregnant.

Of course, obesity is harmful to the body, and something needs to be done about it. But first - to understand the reasons. Excess weight is a symptom: a consequence of a problem, either physiological (for example, hormonal disruption), or psychological (for example, "seizing" anxiety, sweet self-consolation).

Obesity is not a fault, but a diagnosis with a cause. A complete person needs the help of a specialist, be it a doctor, a psychotherapist or an integrated approach. Here it is appropriate to cite as an example the slogan of the "12 steps" program, according to which addicts work: "We are not to blame for our illness, but are responsible for our recovery." The person is not to blame for obesity, but what is he going to do?

Blaming a fat person for obesity is like blaming a diabetic for diabetes and an asthmatic for asthma. It is not a consequence of wickedness or weak will; there is a serious problem behind this diagnosis. Quite often, it is prejudice that prevents a complete person from seeking help: they say, "he is to blame and he must cope", and indeed, "everything is useless."

It is important for an obese person to acknowledge their problem and seek professional help. But in any case, he does not deserve a bad attitude from others, but needs acceptance and understanding