Do You Tend To Avoid Conflicts? 12 Questions Will Help You Find Out - Self-development, Society

It is often difficult to say why we are hurting ourselves. We do not know what to do when we encounter a person who is different from us. Maybe we just didn't have a good role model and didn't learn to do it

We do not yet have the courage to speak the truth, and instead of stating our relationship needs, we avoid it.

Sometimes it can be difficult to determine what the problem is and what we can do to solve it. Avoidant behavior keeps us stumped, and we need to start by admitting it. We can then assess how much this behavior costs us.

When we realize that we are sacrificing our own well-being for fear of conflict, we may risk overcoming our shyness.

Here is a list of questions to help you determine if your behavior is avoidant:

1. Do you consider anger to be dangerous?
2. Do you find yourself silent in situations where you really need to stand up for yourself?
3. When you find differences, are you more critical of yourself than others?
4. Do you avoid talking about your thoughts and feelings so as not to inconvenience other people?
5. Are you sacrificing your opinion in an effort to maintain harmony in your relationship?
6. Do you spend a lot of time trying to figure out what your partner is thinking and feeling, while forgetting about your own feelings and sensations?
7. Are you complaining but nothing changes?
8. Have you amassed a mountain of unspoken feelings by dodging necessary conversations?
9. Do you consider your partner's needs and desires more important than yours?
10. Do you take responsibility for your partner's reactions?
11. When difficulties arise in a relationship, do you by default feel guilty (guilty), believing that you are not investing enough or do not meet your partner's expectations?
12. Is your partner's approval more important to you than your own opinion?

Recognizing avoidant behavior is an important and necessary step towards recovering from the helplessness that this destructive pattern plunges into.

Only by overcoming our reluctance to admit sadness and anger about life's circumstances can we take the necessary steps towards significant change. Instead of being afraid or denying anger, we can treat it as an alarm, warning us of danger. Over time, we can learn to welcome the anger that encourages self-defense.

Being in touch with your anger, recognizing that these strong emotions are designed to protect us, is the beginning of the path to a healthy life.

Step by step, we learn not to avoid, not be silent, not flatten, not pretend, and not blame ourselves. We can take a more reasonable position: try to figure out where is whose responsibility for the difficulties that have arisen, instead of taking full responsibility on ourselves.

Entering into a conflict, we, of course, run the risk of falling out with a partner or even losing a relationship. But it is an illusion to think that we are not putting the relationship at risk when we try our best to be nice and comfortable. Accumulated unspoken feelings ruin the relationship more than any attempts to sort it out.

Significant change requires learning how to move forward despite fear and ossified habit patterns of avoidance.

The process of healing and growth always begins with an honest acknowledgment of how we are hindering our own development and what old behaviors cost us. When we start telling ourselves the truth, there is a will to change. With our stronger self-reliance, our relations are also strengthened.