Do You Know How To Put Up? 28 Ways To Restore Peace After Conflict - Relationships, Society

2023 Author: Oswald Adamson | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-05-21 20:18

No matter how hard we try, disagreements in a relationship are inevitable. Misunderstanding, broken agreements, unmet needs, unhealed wounds and other reasons push us straight to conflict

Relationship friction is not a problem in itself. The most important thing is how we react to them. Strong relationships are based on the partners' ability to quickly restore intimacy after it has been broken. Take a look at the following examples:

1. Acceptance. Partners are not afraid of conflict to such an extent that they deny there is a problem. They strive to tell the truth when things go wrong in a relationship.

2. Attitude. Partners believe that conflicts are not dangerous and can even be beneficial if they conflict correctly. The dark side of the relationship makes it possible to compare how differently partners experience and see the same situation. Being creative can lead to even greater understanding in the couple.

3. Deep breathing. It helps to slow down and calm an agitated mind so that you can think more clearly.

4. Security. When partners are ready to invest in a relationship, trust and a willingness to continue the dialogue arise on both sides in order to come to some kind of conclusion, even if the feelings are very strong.

5. Self-discipline. She helps resist the temptation to criticize your partner. Self-discipline helps separate what we feel from what we express or how we behave. We can pause and think about what to say to make the dialogue more productive.

6. Non-reactive listening. When we truly listen to another person, they feel that we care and that we want to understand how they feel and what they need.

7. Paraphrasing. This is a repetition of what the partner said in his own words. "I correctly understood that you …" helps to avoid distortions of meaning. And the partner calms down and relaxes, realizing that he was heard.

8. Correct intonation. Better to avoid a harsh accusatory tone.

9. Manipulation. Any manipulation (avoidance, threats, ultimatums, attempts to distract, etc.) forces people to defend themselves. We are quite capable of realizing our own manipulation strategies and getting rid of them.

10. Questions. We use questions to show that we want to understand the other person's point of view.

11. Requests. People are repelled by demands and orders. Asking instead of criticizing is a good way to avoid negativity.

12. Feedback. When we give feedback, we are not criticizing, but sharing our own reactions to what the other person says or does.

13. Respect. We can communicate our discontent and disappointment to our partner tactfully, without blame.

14. Planning. An effective way to reconcile is to agree in advance on the rules (for example, “speak using“I-statements”,” “don't shout,” “don't call names,” “don't threaten,” “either partner can take time out”). By mentally and verbally returning to these pre-agreed rules, we can prepare ourselves to engage in a conciliatory conversation.

15. Points of contact. These are the moments in which we converge. It is easier for us to feel that we are more of one team than opposing sides.

16. Reasonable concern for your own benefit. A good approach is to explain to your partner how a change in attitude or behavior will benefit both.

17. Variability. Avoid polarized thinking, which is characterized by a division of good and bad, right and wrong, or - or. It helps to think creatively and pulls out of dead ends.

18. The principle of a sandwich. Start by genuinely acknowledging the good qualities, then say what you don't like, and then praise again. This will help emphasize the good in the relationship, and the difficulties will seem surmountable.

19. Flexibility. The decisive step towards reconciliation is to take control of your desire to be right at all costs. As long as we insist that we are right, our partner may feel that he is completely wrong, and from this we both lose.

20. Curiosity. Sincere interest in painful points (yours and your partner's) left behind by childhood trauma or adult relationships will shed light on why we are hurt so deeply. Examining these wounds can be healing, and we can become less reactive as a result.

21. Live and learn. Learning from each other is an enriching experience. As opposites attract, we find ourselves in relationships with people who differ from us in attitude, style, beliefs, and even some values. When we learn the strengths of our partners, we grow.

22. Responsiveness. When a partner in one way or another demonstrates that he wants to make peace, and we show that we are ready to support him or her in this process, the restoration of the relationship occurs faster.

23. Humor. Some playfulness can reduce tension and create an environment that encourages collaboration.

24. Apologies. Asking for forgiveness when we have done harm is a good start. Adding what we got out of the conflict is a great addition. This shows that we understand how to prevent similar misunderstandings in the future.

25. Ability to forgive. The willingness to let go of resentment and anger is very important to rebuilding a relationship. This may take time.

26. Vulnerability. Behind irritation, anger, discontent there is always pain or fear - or both. If we have the courage to speak from our deepest experiences (needs and affection), we can establish a genuine connection with our partner, one that is less fearful and more intimate.

27. Tactile contact. Timely touching your partner (taking a hand, hugging or hugging) can relieve tension and open a channel for deeper communication.

28. Gratitude. It is always helpful to thank your partner for his or her attempts to make up as soon as possible.

Don't limit yourself to this list. Each couple needs to develop their own rules for effective reconciliation, suited to their individual needs. We have listed just a few popular and effective methods. I wish you to be reconciled as soon as possible.