I Want To Raise A Leader! - Blogs, Society

How to raise a leader is a popular topic in parenting magazines (portals). This is usually such an "egegey" theme: "Now we will tell you how to make a leader out of a child!" Regime, persistent classes, communication courses, result orientation, team building basics in five years. Yes, and English, English is a must

Therefore, I immediately outline the agenda so that there is an opportunity not to waste time:

• Why do you need a child leader? Are you ready for this yourself?
• If you want to raise a leader, which one?
• Can All Children Become Leaders?
• Does everyone need it?
• What happens to children who are persistently pulled into leadership?

Why do you need a child leader?

Being a leader is such a (seemingly) unshakable value. That is, it is better to be than not to be. "It will come in handy in life", "it is better for him to command than to be commanded." This is how I represent the new generation of leaders: "Who is the last king here?" And then not like in a cartoon, but like in an anthill. Density of leaders per capita. While not all people want to be leaders, let alone leaders. Someone, having received guidance, loses efficiency and feels much worse than in the place of a specialist.

But my question has another emphasis: why do YOU need a child leader? What do you propose to do with him when he is still a child, but already a leader? This, friends, is a special format of communication, and not everyone is ready for this

Expectations that are not realized: at first he is obedient in everything, wears a hat, does his homework, helps around the house, no chips and soda. And then clap - and the leader! Leaders do not hatch from an egg of submission. This is a special format even in childhood. Independence of thinking, a tendency to critical perception of information, an active position. Desire to be authoritative, high self-esteem, often little empathy for other people, indifference to irrelevant problems.

With future leaders, communication in the style of “come on quickly!”, “Too small”, “adults know better” will not work. An atmosphere of respect, attitude towards the child as an authoritative person (this minimum, however, is good for any parenting situation). What if there are several children in the family and all of them need to be raised as leaders? What a competition in a single apartment! Are you ready for this?

What kind of leader would you like to raise?

Let's turn to the definition.

Leader - a member of the group, for whom she recognizes the right to make responsible decisions in situations that are significant for her; the most authoritative person who really plays a central role in organizing joint activities and regulating relationships in a group

Let's write down the key words: "the right to decisions", "authority", "central role", "activity" and "relationship".

Already from this definition, it can be understood that the leader and the leader are not always the same person. Leaders are also different …

• An intellectual leader can be a closed, uncommunicative person, but it is to him that people go to learn how to make it work. He crawls out of his shell for a while, prompts and climbs back.
• The emotional leader sets the emotional background of the team. If he was worried, everyone was worried. If he is calm, no rumors disturb people.
• A communicative leader helps new team members to join the team. It is to him that they go with the question if there are problems with relations.
• A leisure leader may or may not be a freeloader, but if we are talking about a colleague's birthday or a corporate party, then he organizes everything.
• The opinion leader expresses his opinion with authority, and people listen to him: are the changes good, what to expect from them, is it worth worrying.

Leaders can be persistent and situational. So which leader do you want? Whom do you want to educate? Each of the types will have their own psychological profile. You can be a leader and not be able to lead people. This is important to understand.

Can All Children Become Leaders?

If we are talking about leadership in the broadest sense of the word, then many children can become leaders. There are many hypostases. Let's say in a ten-person work department, six people can be leaders (see why above).

But in the generally accepted sense of "leader = leader" not all people have the right qualities. In the texts about the qualities required by a leader, there are about 40 integrative properties. I will not list them all. I will name those that can not always, even with a great desire, be formed.

1. Communication skills. They can be developed to a certain extent (each has its own degree). There are children whose personality traits are closed and self-centered. Their need for communication is small, and they do not suffer from it. They often have the makings of intellectual and professional leaders. And if you start developing communication skills, wanting to make them outgoing people, it will not do them good.
2. Ability to plan your own activities and the activities of other people. Not everyone has the makings necessary for this. You can learn to plan, and again - to a certain extent.
3. Sufficient energy level. Leadership is a costly process, you need a lot of effort. How long can a particular person remain able-bodied, healthy, vigorous? How does he switch from one activity to another? If a person quickly gets tired, distracted, drowsy even in the normal schedule of life, then his nervous system is not created to be a leader. But he may very well be a professional, intellectual or opinion leader.

Do all children want to be leaders?

Adults are so inspired by the idea of leadership that sometimes it seems to them that the child, of course, wants the same. Observing children, you may find that one really wants to be in the spotlight. But this is not necessarily about leadership, but more often about demonstrativeness as a personality trait. Such people do not need to lead anyone, it is enough for them to have attention and admiration.

There are naughty children. They are fun to be with, and others start repeating their pranks. This is not about leadership again. And in some cases, perhaps, about hyperactivity.

As for the conscious desire, even here not all children say that they would like to lead someone.

What happens to children who are persistently pulled into leadership?

What happens to a person who is pulled to where he himself goes? His motivation drops (read more about this in the article on motivation). External, weaker, motivation replaces internal.

What happens to the person with whom they walk alongside, supporting and giving additional opportunities? He develops his qualities. If a child develops as a leader and wants to be one, first of all, it is difficult to hinder him, and secondly, it is easy to help

What about a person who is being pulled to where he does not want to go, even if this is a three-time beautiful place? He can obediently try. But the internal motivation for this is not formed. And, quite possibly, there are no inclinations. Most likely, it is difficult to expect expressed success. And there will be a feeling "I can not", "I am not able".

It is worse if the parent records the failure: “You behave like a rag! You need to be a leader, not trail in the end! " The child realizes that he did not live up to expectations, writes his story as a story of failure.

So…

See if your child has the makings of a leader. Check yourself: is what you see is definitely about leadership, and not something else? What kind of leadership can a child develop?

If the inclinations and desire are there, then you can act in such a way as to develop them. Exactly the same as if it were musical, artistic or natural science abilities. Provide the best learning opportunities with masters of craft and practice.