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Where Do The Forces Go And How To Get Them Back? - Self-development
Where Do The Forces Go And How To Get Them Back? - Self-development

Video: Where Do The Forces Go And How To Get Them Back? - Self-development

Video: Where Do The Forces Go And How To Get Them Back? - Self-development
Video: Why self improvement is ruining your life 2023, June

Asthenia is the name of a condition that we all do not like so much. This is not fatigue that will go away once you have a rest. This is not a lack of motivation when it is worth switching to something else - the strength magically returns. This is a state where there is no strength even for the most beloved things and no rest does not improve the condition

First to the doctor

All people face asthenia at least once in their life. And if it does not go away after rest, normalization of nutrition and lifestyle, it's time to start looking for the cause of this unpleasant phenomenon, despite the fact that even this search is not strong enough.

First, somatic (physiological) causes must be excluded. To do this, we go to a therapist, explain our condition and ask to schedule an examination. These will be routine tests plus hormonal status checks, and depending on your history, there may be tests for autoimmune, inflammatory, and infectious diseases.

List of needs

If all tests are normal or you have undergone the prescribed treatment, and your condition has not improved, move on. We carefully study our schedule: is there any rest in it among the compulsory tasks? Not “take the children out to sea”, not “organize leisure for the husband”, but your own personal vacation in the format that you want?

What is the ratio of "must" and "want" in your schedule? Does it even have your "want" in it? Start writing a list of what you must provide for your child (existing or hypothetical):

  • love,
  • Adoption,
  • healthy food,
  • the opportunity to develop,
  • control and reasonable limits,
  • harmonious physical development,
  • sleep and wakefulness,
  • continue for yourself …

And only read on after writing this list.

Green, yellow, red

Now take a green marker and mark in this list the points that you fulfill in relation to yourself: adulthood is that now you yourself should be a good parent.

Now - with a red marker - mark those items, the importance of which you understand, but do not know where to take the time for this.


Let's go further: with a yellow marker we highlight those items, the implementation of which does not seem important to you ("there are things that are more important").

Now we have three lists: "green", "red" and "yellow". Praise yourself for the "green" and promise not to give up positions! Items from the “red” list should be “marked” in your head not as “it would be good for yourself to do this”, but directly “stick” a poisonous red sticker “ very, very important things ” and start learning to enter them into your diary. Not all at once, of course. But at least one point a week to increase.

What to do with the "yellow"?

For each item on this list, make a table with the pros and cons of not doing them. Then you can automatically transfer most of these items to the "red" list.

Now let's try to revise the list of things that you are doing today "not for yourself."

  • Think about each item: is it really very important?
  • Can't you do this less often?
  • Is it possible to delegate this matter to someone else?
  • What happens if you don't?

Give yourself oxygen

For example, for one of my clients it was a revelation that if she wipes off the dust not daily, but once a week, no one will die, the house will not be overgrown with dirt, and the husband and children will not even see the difference. She did as her mother did. And it did not occur to her to reconsider the necessity of this ritual.

To simplify life, there are many "magic" sites with wonderful working tips. Well, spending on home appliances pays off, believe me.

I work a lot with women using this scheme. And the most common objection that I hear is, "I don't want to be selfish and spend so much time on myself."

And then I remind them about the airplane principle of the "oxygen mask": first the mask for myself, then for the child

Because if something happens to you, you can no longer help anyone. So this is all - not selfishness, but an increase in your own resources, which you can spend, including on loved ones.

And finally: if you can't do it all yourself, you can contact a specialist: in just a couple of sessions he will teach you how to use this system on your own and separate the important from the unimportant.

If all of the above has not helped, it is worth contacting a medical psychologist or psychiatrist to rule out a depressive state, which requires a completely different approach.

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