11 Easy Ways To Truly Take Care Of Yourself - Self-development

There are many different definitions of self-care. But all these definitions usually agree that taking care of yourself is about replenishing energy and that it is an absolutely necessary part of life. Psychotherapist Emily Griffiths says that "the opposite of self-care is self-neglect." And "neglecting one's emotional and physical health leads to increased symptoms of anxiety, depression and physical illness."

Emily Griffiths notes that taking care of yourself includes understanding your limits and caring for your nervous system. "When we forget about self-care practices, we run the risk of burnout," which "in turn can lead to disease, overload and exhaustion."

Psychologist Ryan Howes, Ph. D., describes self-care as "surprisingly difficult for many of us to step out of our busy loop in order to assess how we feel physically and mentally and take steps to meet our unmet needs."

Ashley Thorne, couples and families counselor, says that “caring for yourself means doing things in every area of your life that improve your health and recharge your batteries.” “It's what helps you focus, calm down, feel happy and true to yourself,” says Ashley.

Perinatal mental health and relationship expert Kirsten Brunner believes self-care is "any action or choice that helps you replenish or conserve energy and rejuvenate." Taking care of yourself means prioritizing your needs so that you can “take care of others and be fully in touch with other people.”

Psychotherapist Ariella Cook-Schonkoff emphasizes that taking care of yourself is not necessarily a big deal. "It could be as simple as stretching in the morning or deciding not to go to a meeting or party because you're sick."

Giving preference to small and simple steps is especially important if you are very busy - for example, have recently become a parent

Brunner, co-founder of the Baby Proofed Parents website and workshop series, encourages parents to take care of themselves whenever and wherever possible. Look for any way to recharge your batteries.

You can read a magazine in the bathroom for a few minutes while your partner is with your child, leave the house for an hour, hang out in the store, play golf, order food, or watch a movie.

“Self-care is a reflection of the two most important pillars of mental health: relationships with oneself and relationships with others,” says Griffiths, who specializes in the treatment of anxiety, depression and trauma.

Therapists share their favorite self-care practices, ranging from specific calming actions to significant worldview changes.

1. Schedule self-care as a business meeting

“We usually give priority to everything and everyone, except taking care of ourselves. We always have something to do - both at work and at home. Therefore, you need to treat self-care as something important,”says Cooke-Schonkoff, a therapist who works with couples and families.

“If possible, discuss your plan with a partner, roommate, friend, or family member. They can support you."

2. Constantly monitor your condition

Both Thorne and Griffiths emphasize the importance of honest self-talk. Ask yourself what you need regularly and try to meet your needs. “This is taking care of yourself,” says Thorne.

How are you feeling? Do you feel the tension? Perhaps you feel like you've used up all your energy? Is there anything bothering you?

Thorne says that sometimes taking care of yourself means saying no to someone, getting involved in an important project for you, getting out of a toxic relationship, or taking a break and doing something relaxing. Griffiths adds that sometimes taking care of yourself means getting more sleep, spending time alone, or planning career changes.

3. Use time on the way to work

Howes is an advocate of self-care that doesn't take up too much of your time. He suggests taking advantage of transport travel. Instead of reading disturbing news or listening to light music, remember three things you are grateful for, practice progressive relaxation, or set goals for the day. "Then your transport trip is likely to bring you more satisfaction, like the rest of the day."

4. Practice breathing 5-5-5

Brunner suggests practicing this type of deep breathing four to five times in a row in the morning and evening. This can be especially helpful when you are nervous or fidgety. At such moments, we sometimes breathe faster.

Inhale slowly for five seconds, hold your breath for five seconds, exhale slowly for five seconds.

5. Look at the situation differently

Howes notes that thinking about the coming day will be stressful, disgusting and unbearable can negatively affect our health. “Try to remind yourself of why you initially decided to enter this relationship or take this job, and try to perceive difficulties as opportunities for growth, and not harbingers of death of the relationship or work,” he says. For example, you may have a lot of difficulties at work, but you love to solve problems.

6. Practice flipping

“We spend too much time upright, fidgeting with tense shoulders,” says Brunner. She suggests spending 15 minutes lying on your back on the floor with your ankles on the couch. "You simultaneously nourish and calm your brain by spending some time upside down."

7. Look for opportunities to take care of yourself in traffic, when you are bored, when you cannot sleep

Howes says these are all unpleasant experiences. However, we can use them to take care of ourselves. For example, if you are stuck in traffic, use this time to call a close friend and chat. If you're bored, make a plan for the future. If you can't sleep, try doing the meditation you recently learned.

“We often spend more time and energy complaining instead of using what we have to change things for the better,” Howes says. Consider how you can turn unpleasant experiences into an opportunity to take care of yourself.

8. Be more selective

“We often fill our days with unfulfilling commitments, unfulfilling food, and friendships that drain,” says Brunner, co-author of Birth Guy's Go-To Guide for New Dads: How to Support Your Partner Through Birth, Breastfeeding & Beyond. ("The Proven Guide for Young Doula Male Fathers: How to Support Your Mate in Childbirth, Breastfeeding, and Other Parenting Areas"), in preparation for publication. Instead, she encourages her clients to "be more selective in filling their homes, times and bellies." “Choose food, friends and activities that nourish you, and say no to anything that makes you feel worse,” she says.

9. Ask for help

Many of us do not like to burden others, and we get used to solving our problems on our own. However, as Howes notes, many people are very fond of helping others, and collaboration often strengthens relationships. In addition, we can learn a lot from our helpers.

For example, last month Howes was very worried about preparing a big presentation. He had technical difficulties (in particular, with Power Point). Fortunately, his wife, who is well versed in Power Point, and other friends volunteered to help. “Suddenly 20+ hours of challenging work with dubious results turned into a couple of hours of work, and I figured it out better. All I had to do was look around and ask for help."

10. Get creative with self-care

Cook-Shonkoff once heard about this practice of self-care: every working day, one man, walking up the stairs to his house, touched the branches of a certain tree in his yard. He imagined that he was leaving all the worries that had accumulated during the day to this tree. Thus, when he came home, he was ready to give his full attention to his family. The next day, he collected his worries from this tree and found that "they are not as bad as they seemed yesterday."

Think about how you could be creative in taking care of yourself.

11. See a psychotherapist

Howes believes that psychotherapy is definitely a self-care practice. Insights and changes in behavior have a significant impact on our lives. Many people avoid therapy because they see it as "selfish indulgence." If you think so, you should look at therapy as something that will give you the opportunity to help other people even more as you work through your own problems.

Howes found that people who find it difficult to take care of themselves have difficulty recognizing their own worth. “Deep down, they believe that other people are more important than them, and they spend time with others, devaluing themselves.”

Such beliefs often stem from childhood. Writing your own autobiography can go a long way in analyzing how powerful their impact is. Plus, Howves stresses, you can see your life as part of an ongoing journey - your story is still being written. What do you want to write about?

Author: Margarita Tartakovski