Unloved Children Of Unloving Parents - Relationships, Society

Many people believe that parental love is unconditional and obligatory. How could it be otherwise? Does the mother love her daughter? Yes, this cannot be! And if it can? What if a person realizes that he has been deprived of attention, affection and acceptance since childhood? And as an adult, he gets reproaches from his parents: “You don’t call me”, “We rarely see each other”, “You are not interested in my health”. The "unloved" has new problems - the consequences of unloving

For example, a woman suffers from low self-esteem, insecurity, because her mother never said that she loved her. It is almost impossible to strike up a relationship with a man, to build your own happy family too.

A boy who is deprived of love in an attempt to raise a real man in him grows up weak-willed and weak-willed, with a loser complex.

Children whose childhood lacked basic and unconditional parental love become personalities entangled in their own limiting beliefs.

All their life, they then desperately try to fill this deficit: sometimes through other people - a partner, friends, boss, sometimes they never separate from their parents, trying to earn love.

Expressions of love

Of course, each parent expresses their feelings in their own way. There are no rules here: everything is individual. But most often those children who were deprived of protection, attention, communication, care and affection either from one of the parents, or both, consider themselves to be disliked.

1. Protection

A child comes into the world with a blank slate. From the first days of his life, he adopts every gesture, look, tone and emotion of mom and dad.

Adults show you how to eat, drink, treat abdominal pain, and protect you from an angry dog. It is difficult for a child if his parent does not have a protective instinct. The world seems large and complex, and there is no one to explain what and how it works.

2. Attention

Parents teach their child to solve everyday problems and get around difficulties. They pass on their life experience and wisdom to the child. Therefore, it is very important to be close to the baby when his worldview is just being formed.

Attention is one of the manifestations of love. It says that the life of the child is not indifferent to the parent. And when a mother, for example, completely switches to work and providing for the family, the child loses in this manifestation of love. The main thing for her is that the child does not need anything (and, by the way, the question is, what is the internal state of the mother and what does the father do if she provides for the family). But she pays less attention to the child, because of which he suffers.

3. Communication

What does the family do in the evenings when they get together? Dad sits at a computer, and mom does laundry, clean or cook, a child with a tablet … Nobody is interested in him - he is left to himself. Children who are not paid attention in communication, are not interested in their inner world, grow up withdrawn and unsociable. It is difficult for them to find a common language with society, they prefer to stay away.

4. Caring

Caring is manifested differently in different families. This is both care and protection. But it so happens that parents are too active in showing their care, creating a child "greenhouse" conditions for life.

They "strangle" him with their care, not giving him a chance to find himself as a person.

Such children grow up unfulfilled and blame their parents for this all their lives.

5. Weasel

Some parents deliberately do not show emotion towards their child. They raise him in severity in order to temper his character.

In such families, the child is deprived of attention and care. He grows up tough and sometimes even cruel, unable to show love to his loved ones, because he simply does not know how.

Symptoms of a "disliked child"

Children who need the attention of their parents try to win it in any way. This can be not only good deeds, but also screams, tantrums and disobedience.

If a child is deprived of affection and care, he becomes aggressive or withdrawn. At a young age, he requires increased attention. For example, in kindergarten everyone will be hugging and kissing. And at school, on the contrary, he will become a fighter and a bully.

A child who needs communication and does not receive it suffers from self-esteem. He is not confident in his abilities, he has very low motivation to study.

When the baby does not feel the protection of the parents, he will provoke them in every possible way. For example, he will be constantly ill in order to receive care that he was not given in a healthy state.

How to show your feelings

Unfortunately, not all parents know how to show their love. Perhaps this is upbringing, and the model of behavior is the result of their own childhood. But it needs to be learned, and here are some tips on how to properly show your love for your child.

• 1. Hug more often.

  Psychologists recommend hugging your children more often. Tactile contact is very important here. Try counting how many times a day you hug your little one. Do this more often, because your warmth and care is so important to him.

• 2. Pay attention.

  Of course, your schedule can be busy and busy, and all your efforts are aimed at supporting your family. But believe me, time will fly by, and the relationship between you and your children will remain cold.

• 3. Learn to say “I love”, even if it’s awkward for you at first. Vocalizing feelings and emotions is an important step in your relationship.

• 4. Believe in your child.

  It is important for him and needs to be absolutely sure that his parents, the closest people in the world, support him.