How To Resolve Your “Bad” Negative Emotions - Self-development

Unfortunately, many people do not show their feelings because they are afraid to express them openly. But there are those who calmly give their emotions freedom. Feelings allow us to better understand our environment and our relationships. Research shows that emotions that were once considered “bad,” such as anger and contempt, are not necessarily

Five steps to freedom

There are times when you need to express anger, such as when you see injustice. By suppressing this feeling, you will harm yourself. But this does not mean that you should be constantly angry. You need to assess whether your emotional reactions are healthy.

1. Examine your emotion

What do you feel? Where in your body do you feel it? Do you have any incentive to suppress this feeling? What for? Do you think something bad will happen if you allow this feeling to manifest? What can you do to endure the emotional state you are in right now?

You think about your feelings, consider a variety of emotions, instead of just being happy, sad or angry. There may be other emotions that more clearly define how you feel, such as “I am angry, upset, annoyed, disappointed, regretful, or pessimistic.” Be as specific as you can.

2. Find the reason

Why do you feel this emotion? If you are angry, is it because someone cut you off on the road, or are you watching a political video on Facebook? Do you have any needs that are not being met? Has your boundary been violated? What is your contribution to this? Are there other unrelated problems in this feeling? Take the time to fully understand what is behind your feelings.

3. Rate the frequency of your feeling

Think about how often you experience this feeling. If you find that you have some characteristic negative emotions quite often, you can carefully examine what is happening in your life, which prompts you to respond that way. Once you understand, decide what changes, if any, you will need to make.

4. Separate feelings from thoughts

Recognize that your feelings can influence your thoughts. They can blind you, so it is important that you take the time to process, become aware of your feelings before responding to them.

5. Decide how you want to react

After you've examined your feeling, think about the best way to respond. If you find that you have processing problems, it may take a little longer for you to separate feelings from thoughts in order to better understand the situation. Assess if your feeling requires an immediate response, or if you can respond later.

The ability to effectively manage our feelings is essential to success in our career and personal life. So be sure to take steps to develop this skill daily. And if you find that you cannot control your feelings, understand them, seek professional support.

Based on the article:

Tamir M., Schwartz Sh. H., Shige Oishi, Min Y. Kim. The Secret to Happiness: Feeling Good or Feeling Right? // Journal of Experimental Psychology. 2017. Vol. 146. No. 10. 1448 -1459. URL: www.apa.org/pubs/journals/releases/xge-xge0000303.pdf