"Why Do I Only Meet Infantile Men?" - Relationships, Self-development

Very often we hear: “Where did the real men go? We are surrounded by only infantiles! " Or maybe you are exactly the woman who always comes across immature and unmanly partners, "mama's sons"? If this is you, this article is for you

Do you want me to guess who you are?

Too good

You are a very nice woman, it is always comfortable and warm next to you. You studied well and you have a very decent education. You have achieved a good position with your work and a gradual career growth, haven't you? You have a stable income and a good reputation among colleagues as a reliable and experienced employee.

And also - you are very empathic and empathic, you are the person who will always understand another when it is difficult for him. Your friends share with you their difficulties, you are good at supporting and inspiring hope. You are a reliable and responsible person, you will always come to the rescue if something happens to your loved one.

You are not inclined to judge others and are able to show tolerance and tact, even if something hurts you. You are most likely a good housewife, you know how to surround you with care and love. In general, a woman is a dream, isn't it? It seems that yes.

And it seems that men should appear next to you who will definitely appreciate how wonderful you are. But something completely different happens, since this article is about you. Next to you there are those who do not particularly strive for anywhere, who do not give you anything except the words "dear, I love you so much," and you rarely hear these words.

You are not helped, you are not cared for, your presence is taken for granted, and you do not feel happy. Why is that? You are such a beautiful woman!

Responsible for love

It seems that in your family you were taught very well about commitment, taught how to be good and correct, how to achieve a lot with your work, taught to be tolerant and understanding. But you were not taught two basic things for a woman - to love yourself and take.

A woman is capable of giving love when she loves herself first. Then she considers herself valuable, important and significant and she no longer wants to give her love to just anyone

She will give it only where she can take the same love in return. Otherwise, it is not an equal relationship between two adults, but childish attempts to deserve the love of another person. When I love myself, I know exactly how I want to be loved. And I won't settle for less.

Loving yourself is primarily about making yourself feel good. To be where it is calm and pleasant, to take care of your emotional state, to listen to your feelings. When you stay where you feel bad - you do not love yourself, this is called violence against yourself. A woman who loves herself chooses the best possible for herself and acknowledges herself responsible for her happiness.

Who is the author of your life?

Responsibility is an essential component of mature self-love

This is about recognizing yourself as the author of your life. And regularly ask yourself two questions: " For ah?" and " W achem?". “How and why I chose this man”, “how and why I chose this job, these friends”, and so on. "How and why do I stay in this and change nothing."

The ability to take is the most important function of life. To take in order to recover, when I give, in order to feel satisfaction, in order to have the strength to give further. Yes, relationships are barter, no matter how much we want to think differently. We should receive as much as we give - no more, no less. They come into relationships for pleasure, not for suffering. The relationship in which you are suffering is meaningless.

The paradox is that the ability to want and have the right to take are functions that are not always present at the same time. You can want for a very long time, but absolutely not give yourself the right to take. And then all that remains is to wait for it to be given. Wait and hope indefinitely.

I call these women "the sausage goers at the hardware store." They are very hungry, but they can't admit that there is no sausage in the hardware store and there never will be. And they have the right to go to the grocery store. But for some reason they don't. Do not give yourself the right to take.

Usually the right to take is replaced by the idea that you have to give a lot and then you will be given in return. Treat people the way you want them to treat you. This idea implies the great illusion that all people are the same and all have something to give to the other.

In fact, there are many people who do not know how to give, do not consider it necessary to do so and do not suffer from it at all.

And from such people it is impossible to get anything, even if you give them a lot.

Until you change your norms, learn to love yourself and consider yourself valuable, do not give yourself the right to take what you need - the hardware store will be your lot. It can be a long job, but it's worth it. Because our life begins within ourselves.