How To Stop Being A Mom To Your Husband? - Relations

For some reason, my problem is relevant for many in my environment. The situation is this: a husband, like a helpless child, cannot take care of himself from the word “in general”. From the smallest things - finding socks or getting yourself lunch for work - to global things. For example, when he had problems at work, I had to solve them - write a business plan, look for a lawyer, etc. I am very tired of being a mother to my husband. I want to be equal and sometimes even “small”, so that he would take care of me, support me

Elizaveta, 28 years old

4 pluses of the "mom" position

First, understand what exactly you like about this state of affairs. Yes, you read that right - what you like. In general, if a woman takes the position of a mother in a relationship, she finds several advantages in this at once.

1. They do not leave “moms”, that is, “moms” will never be abandoned and will not be left alone.
2. It is easier to manipulate a man-“son”.
3. "Moms" are often internally satisfied with a sense of power.
4. Most of the "mothers" are financially independent, because they need to provide for "son" and other children.

And now, after you have understood your main benefit, pay attention to another important truth.

Double bind

You can demand anything from your husband, cry, wring your hands, sigh and get angry. But until you get rid of the double message “Stay there, come here”, and in your case “Take responsibility, I won't give it to you,” the situation will not change.

In order not to be a mother for your husband, you just need to transfer to him responsibility for yourself, children, family, financial wealth, vacation, car, his career in the end.

It is important to believe in your man, sincerely believe. How to do it? Step by step, as they say step by step

Do not immediately bring down on your husband everything that you previously charged yourself. Transfer part of your responsibilities, your responsibility gradually. For example, today let him pay the bills, tomorrow you will quit your second job, the day after tomorrow something else.

There is no point in “kicking” a man without having dealt with your feminine part.

Get rid of your benefits of being a mom. Understand:

• why you are her;
• why can't you let go of the situation;
• when exactly did you take that position.

Once you work out the benefits in the mom position, you will immediately feel that breathing has become much easier. And here it is already close to the support of her husband