4 Root Causes Of Morbid Jealousy - Relations

“Jealousy does not just torment me, but literally burns me. Constantly haunted by the thought that the husband is spending time with the other, that he is cheating. Often, when sorting out the relationship, I do not give myself a critical account of the actions and words. I feel that a divorce is coming, my husband will soon not be able to withstand my hysterics and screams, but I cannot stop. What to do?"

Olga, 35 years old

Pathological jealousy cannot appear for no reason at 35. In most cases, she accompanies a person throughout his life. Perhaps at first you were jealous of your parents, then your girlfriends, then men. As a result, the feeling of unfounded suspicion burns or burns you out.

Is it good? You understand that no. In order to get rid of it, it is necessary to determine the root causes.

There can be several main reasons for jealousy:

• distrust of people;
• childhood injuries;
• the mechanism of psychological defense ("transfer");
• negative experience (your own or someone else's).

1. Distrust of people

With total “mistrust”, honestly answer the question: is there a reason to be jealous or did you invent it? If there is no reason, no symptoms of treason are observed, then your jealousy is nothing other than neurotic fear. By the way, be sure to ask yourself: were you jealous of all partners before, or just now you began not to trust your husband?

2. Childhood injuries

The reason for the "childhood trauma" could arise if, for example, the mother / father loved the sister more in the family. In such a situation, the child develops the habit of being permanently jealous of loved ones.

3. Transfer

The "transference" could have arisen in a situation from childhood or your past. For example, dad cheated on mom, you saw it, felt sorry for mom and condemned dad. When you grew up, the emotions from your father's infidelity did not disappear, but the psyche, in order to protect you, transferred these very emotions to the men with whom you meet. It is clear that this period needs to be worked out.

4. Negative experience

The reason for the "negative experience" is the most understandable: you were cheated on, mom, sister, friend or classmate, and you transferred all this experience (yours or someone else's) to your whole future life.

The main thing in this situation is to calm down and not destroy the family. Take steps - find out the reason for your jealousy, taking into account the experience of all past relationships, and only then start fighting. Do not forget that your love is at stake and it is still alive