What Prevents Us From Thinking Rationally? Part 2 - Self-development

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We continue to study irrational attitudes. What other scenarios prevent us from realizing the real situation, prevent us from making effective decisions? We recognize and change

Scenario No. 5. "Devaluation"

A strategy when positive moments, achievements, successes, favorable situations are devalued as completely trivial, standard, insignificant.

For example, you catch yourself saying “What I did before doesn’t mean anything anymore; the fact that it was possible before does not mean anything,”etc. Often, using such phrases, one can identify clear signals of this strategy.

The foundation of such an attitude towards oneself and one's value is the refusal of activity. If I devalue this, I can do nothing. And also behind this is an attempt to reduce the significance of the situation - "I didn't really want to." Devaluation helps to maintain that very "comfort zone" by doing nothing.

How can this setting be corrected?

1st STEP. Reveal your values. Why is it valuable to you? Record what kind of depreciation occurred. Think: what would you really like in this situation? And why is it so valuable to you?

2nd STEP. Remember what emotions, dreams, goals were when you initially took on a specific activity. Look for resources that can bring you back to that elated state when you got what you wanted, what is valuable. The very fact of having the experience of experiencing such a state is already a resource.

Scenario No. 6. "Negative filter"

Concentration on the negative side of life is assumed. There is a concentration on a negative assessment, even with an obvious discrepancy between its reality. It often coexists with a generalization mindset - “people don't like me,” “nobody needs me,” “I will never pass the exam,” etc.

It is impossible to reorient towards positive aspects - the person himself does not believe in them. This attitude may be based on a reduced motivation to look at situations from different points of view, from a different angle; lack of resources, strength for an objective assessment of oneself and one's achievements.

How can this setting be corrected?

1st STEP. It is important to find motivation to see the situation from a new angle, in a different way. Gradually focus on the positive aspects of life.

2nd STEP. Use positive language - "I can do it", "I can pass the exam."

3rd STEP. Plan activities in order to anticipate the pitfalls and ways out of difficult situations in advance.

STEP 4. Evaluate, in points, how much you managed to do all this today.

Scenario No. 7. "Obligation"

The favorite word of many is "must". Events are interpreted as they supposedly "should" be: "I must succeed, if it does not work out, I am a failure", "The world must be fair …". In this case, the obligation applies both to oneself and to others.

A set of certain rules is created for this strategy, what and how it should be. The rules are binding, but not always enforced because "the world is unfair."

Constant monitoring to comply with these rules creates a certain tension. As a result, such an attitude is accompanied by vivid negative emotions. Aggression, discomfort, irritability, dissatisfaction with the fact that everything is not as it should be, become signs of "must".

How can this setting be corrected?

1st STEP. Analyze all your responsibilities - what is more about them?

2nd STEP. Provide evidence of the validity of these obligations. Why do you think that it is in this question that you owe exactly this?

3rd STEP. Challenge evidence. Remember if there have been situations in which these rules were violated. For example, if you fail one project, should you consider yourself a failure right away, or do you have a chance of being successful in another area?

STEP 4. By saying "should", we put ourselves in a certain frame. Just change the wording. For example, “I have to” change to “I want”. Which of these phrases evokes positive emotions in you?

5th STEP. Translate must into awareness. For example, "I care about my health, parents, children, etc." not because it is a heavy burden, but because it is pleasant, useful, brings positive emotions and results.

Scenario No. 8. "Accusations"

The source of all troubles is someone else. With this strategy, there is a focus on the other person as the source of their negative feelings. The essence of this strategy is that the person himself unconsciously refuses to take responsibility for the consequences of his behavior. The “they are to blame” attitude is an aggressive attitude.

How can this setting be corrected?

1st STEP. Remember that you yourself can adjust your mood. How to react to an event is your choice and your responsibility.

2nd STEP. Learn to support your accusations.

3rd STEP. Use the "self-statement". For example, instead of the accusation, "You are to blame for ruining the mood," say: "I hate when you say that." The phrase "You annoy me" - replace with the phrase "I'm angry when you do this." That is, you talk about your thoughts and emotions, take responsibility for your condition.

STEP 4. When working deeper, look for an unmet need that is masked by blaming others. Look for resources to help you meet this need.

Having realized that you have this or that irrational attitude, you are already taking the first steps towards effective change in thinking and behavior.

As soon as you begin to freely identify certain attitudes in yourself, you can begin to correct them. As soon as there is an awareness of the negative consequences of a particular attitude, you can begin to develop a new, adaptive behavior.

Most importantly, don't let negative thinking rule your life

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