5 Ways To Fight Envy - Self-development, Society

Where does envy come from? Oddly enough, from “it seems”. It seems to us that the other person's life is a solid raspberry, he bathes in luxury, swims in chocolate and in general everything is easy for him. But is it?

With one hundred percent certainty I tell you that this is not so, because no one knows for sure what is happening in another's life, what he has lived in general and what is going on in his soul. But we don't think, we see, and hence envy arises.

Recommendation 1. Remember the moon

Yes, it may not seem to us, and we can really see raspberries with chocolate, but why is this happening? I’ll tell you just two words: "narcissistic age."

What it is? This is just about "positive positive", "successful success" and "chocolate chocolate", when in fact it does not smell like chocolate. However, all social networks, appearance, photos and smiles, achievements and successes at every step of the offline and online space of another just cause envy.

Still, you have so many problems, you cannot constantly smile! But he is all smiling, so problems and difficulties are alien to him. Oh is it? The other simply does not tell or show that, having a successful business, he does not sleep at night solving problems with suppliers. Or that the fourth relationship in a row is collapsing, and behind him there are three divorces and children from different marriages.

Realize that even if someone creates a very strong feeling of envy in you, because “he is successful,” that is not the whole truth. Remember that any person is like the Moon - you see only the side that he shows you

Recommendation 2. Don't waste your life

It would seem, how can you lose it? But like this! While you are fixated on someone else's life, you cannot concentrate on your own, since your focus of attention is shifted. This means that you are channeling energy, forces and, in general, your inner resource in the wrong direction.

Therefore, instead of sitting on social networks and, like a maniac, looking for photos from the vacation of Alina, Masha, Dasha or Petit, and then frantically gnawing at yourself with envy, concentrate on how to earn this money, what prevents you from resting in your life, etc..d.

Better take the time to do what you really need. If you envy the success of another in a career, read a book on your work, take a training course. Are you jealous of your figure? Go to the gym. In general, go from the opposite

Recommendation 3. Compare yourself to yesterday's self

A good friend of mine remarked: "You shouldn't compare your beginning with someone's middle." And it is right! For some, buying a Daewoo Lanos at the age of 18 is a success, because a person worked for a long time to save up for a car. And at the age of 18, the parents gave someone a Mercedes. And how can you compare these two people?

One starts from one point, and the second from another, so the success can be different, or maybe the same. It's just that one made one effort, and the other is completely different.

Align yourself with what you are achieving. For example, in that month your income was X, and this month it is already 2X - you have grown, have taken some actions to increase your income, and therefore you can be proud of yourself

Recommendation 4. Make envy your resource

You can sit and envy the phyto-babies, destroying a high-calorie cake. And you can set yourself the bar "to have the same figure, and even better." True, then you have to put aside the cake and sign up for the gym.

When I just graduated from college, I looked up to those psychologists who have achieved a lot in their professional activities. Signing up for six months in advance, field trainings, my own courses, expert articles in major media, recognition among colleagues and clients have become my benchmarks.

Yes, I was equal, but I did not envy - I read their success stories, took advanced training courses, and strove for the same results. And if I envied, I would not have reached the same level and would not have become one of those who were for me then, after graduation, the standard of professionalism and quality.

Define important criteria and start working now, strive to achieve your goals

Guideline 5. Accept your capabilities and limitations

And back to where we started. When a person thinks that the other got everything just like that, he was lucky, then envy arises. One was born into a wealthy family and therefore has a successful business. The other was born beautiful and eats, but does not get fat, for genetics. The third was lucky with her husband, the fourth had something else initially, luck smiled somewhere.

But do you know what is most important here? That there is a lot of self-pity in such a position of victim and unequal. When you think, "But he has …", you put yourself on a level below the person you envy, and, as it were, admit that he is better than you, because he succeeded, but you did not.

Is it really? No, each person has their own capabilities and limitations. And it is important to take the maximum of what is available in life, follow your own path and enjoy it.

It's up to you to envy or not envy, and I hope this article helped you make a decision, as well as figure out how to implement it if you want to fight envy

Read also on the topic:

• When a friend is jealous. 9 steps to life without envious people and braggart
• 2 exercises to get rid of envy. Workshop "How to stop envy and start living"
• In a web of prohibitions. Daniil Khlomov on forbidden feelings