Children On The Internet - Society

"To follow or not to follow a child on the Web?" Sooner or later, this question arises before all parents. As a specialist, I came to the conclusion that there is no definite answer and the potential risks and benefits must be weighed

Before the era of the Internet, our children existed in the spaces of an apartment, school, yard and street. It is the direct responsibility of parents to ensure the safety of the child everywhere. Therefore, moms and dads forbade us to leave the yard, walk on construction sites and talk to strangers.

Today, another, virtual, dimension has appeared in the child's world. And in fact, it is no different from the real one: there are also dangerous and safe places, good and bad people. And it is logical to extend to him the obligation to ensure the safety of our children.

Therefore, if you feel that something strange is happening to your child and this is clearly related to the Internet, then it is better to carefully find out what is happening there than to miss your child.

It's good if you managed to build such a relationship with your child that he himself will be ready to share with you, if he is used to seeing you as an understanding friend rather than a punishing boss.

Network newbie

There comes a moment in the life of any modern crumbs when he decides to create a profile on Instagram or VKontakte. Most parents feel a mixture of pride for a grown up and such an intelligent child and fear: what if this is the beginning of Internet addiction or falling into the clutches of Internet scammers?

It is at this moment that the basis for the subsequent alliance can be laid. Help him create a profile, take the first successful photos or posts, add to friends, ask your friends to greet your child in a new world for him.

And be sure to explain to him that the Web is a convenient place for fraud and deception. Agree that any message or friend request from strangers should be discussed with you. Temporarily, until the child learns to independently recognize the danger.

Ours and others

I often hear from parents that they forbid their children to meet on the Internet and believe that in this way they protect their children from bad people. But the fact is that there are many bad people in real life, and there are many good people on the Web.

For three years now my son has been friends on the Internet with a boy from Ukraine whom he has never seen. But these three years they share with each other all the most intimate. My daughter met her fiancé on VKontakte. And in high school, she magically improved her English, making friends with the Dutchman and communicating with him on Skype.

By forbidding a child to get acquainted in virtual, we deprive him of the whole world.

It is thanks to the Internet that our children can make friends not only with children from their own yard, but also with peers from other cities and countries. They will be able to learn languages, broaden their horizons. If a child is open with you, tells you about all new acquaintances, you help him make sure that this communication is safe, then there is nothing to be afraid of.

It is necessary to talk about pedophiles (without unnecessary details, at a level accessible to a child), financial fraudsters, pseudo-sympathetic manipulators, pushing children into depression.

He posts nasty things

One day, for the first time, you will see a post from your child that you do not like: a demotivator with a vulgar joke, a stupid meme or a stupid picture. Do not rush to criticize: the only result will be that the child will publish it "under lock and key" from you.

You can express your attitude to this, but emphasize that this is your personal opinion (preferably with an explanation of your position) and it does not have to coincide with the opinion of the child. And he has every right to post on his page what he considers necessary (within the framework of the law - this is also worth talking about).

Example

The child posted a picture with an indecent joke

Ask him what exactly he liked about this meme, why he finds it funny. Perhaps (we're not prudes?) Do you find this joke funny too? Don't hide it, laugh together.

And then explain why, in your opinion, you shouldn't post such pictures. Say that there are jokes that are not always and not always appropriate, tell us how public opinion is formed, what role reputation plays in life. Give real life examples of people losing their jobs and respect due to online posts.

Tell us about the fact that anonymity and “lockdown” on the Internet are illusory, and everything that is published even under ten locks can become public knowledge at any time

Listen carefully

Many things that captivate your child will be incomprehensible and uninteresting to you. Make an effort on yourself, listen to him and try to understand. After all, you want your child to share important information with you?

And for him it is also important what he built in Minecraft, and what they laughed at on the Web with friends, and stupid videos with cats. If you are not interested in all this, then why should something else be interesting?

And if every time he tries to tell you about the "funny thing" or a new patch, you interrupt him with a question about grades or lessons, he will naturally conclude that he himself is not in the least interesting to you, you only care about the "decent picture". And he will show you this picture for the time being, hiding from you what is really happening to him.

By the way, if you do not know what a "patch" is, just ask your child, he will be happy to explain everything to you. And this will not lower your authority in any way, rather the opposite: you will show the child that it is normal not to know everything in the world and not ashamed, it is abnormal not to be interested in anything.

Behind seven locks

One day your child will put passwords on everything that is possible. So it's time for the next conversation. And it must be conducted through "I-messages": talk about yourself, your feelings and experiences, because it is such a conversation that allows the child to hear you, and not fight with you "to the last drop."

Tell him that with the appearance of a child, fear for him is born and nothing can be done about it. This is "in the firmware" of the parents, in the "factory configuration". Be honest about your concerns, explain that you understand that many of them seem unjustified to the child. Perhaps some of them are really "stupid", but you are a living person and also have the right to weaknesses and shortcomings. Ask him to be understanding.

According to data from volunteer organizations that search for missing children, data from social networks very often help find a child. This can be correspondence, contacts, discussion of plans or places of walks. Therefore, ask your child to give you logins and passwords for all of his profiles.

If your "honest word" not to use them without a specified reason is not enough for the child (there is nothing wrong with that, you should not wring your hands: "you do not trust me!"). Offer him to seal the sheet with the data in an envelope and put it in a special place: so he can make sure at any time that you have not opened it, and you, if necessary, can use it.

At the same time, your child will learn to negotiate, trust you and be aware of possible dangers