Parting - A Reason To Think - Relationships, Reviews

Pari Match

• USA, 2000
• Director: Arthur Allan Seidelman
• Starring: Linda Hamilton, Jacqueline Bisset

Parting is never easy to go through. If you initiate a breakup, you may feel guilty. And if a partner leaves, then it inflicts a narcissistic wound. It is especially unpleasant when parting occurs suddenly, as in the movie "Pari Match"

Awakening sexuality

Joanna is a middle-aged woman, journalist. Have a favorite job, a family. It would seem that nothing portends trouble, but suddenly the spouse announces that he loves the other and leaves for her. The heroine decides to escape from trouble, change her life and goes to Paris to prepare new material.

Suddenly the trip changes … Joanna herself. A new acquaintance, the charismatic Frenchwoman Simone, helps to reveal her femininity and gain confidence, teaches the techniques of seduction. Joanna returns to the States, and her husband is so overwhelmed by the transformation that he falls in love with her again and wants to return. The only question is: does she need him now?

How good I am

Each person has a so-called "basic narcissism" - an idea of their value, goodness. Dignity, self-respect … And there is nothing wrong with that, moreover, the idea of one's sufficient "goodness" is simply necessary for a comfortable sense of self, healthy self-acceptance.

What is called “narcissism” (egotism and egocentrism) in everyday life with judgment is an unhealthy narcissistic attitude. In this case, there is an idea of oneself not just as “good enough”, but as “the best”.

The opposite extreme, also unhealthy, is the idea of one's own "badness", self-deprecation, underestimation of one's value and dignity.

How is self-esteem formed?

All this is laid down in early childhood, depending on how the child was treated. If they were overpraised, they admired too violently, then, of course, he would believe that he was “the best”. He will have high ambitions, and over time, heightened self-esteem and expectations will lead to frustration.

The parents of such a child use it as a "narcissistic expansion" - they raise their own self-esteem at the expense of it. Like, if the child is such a fine fellow, it means that I am anywhere!

If successes are criticized, discounted, or simply ignored, self-esteem will be lowered. Thus, parents can relieve aggression, express dissatisfaction with themselves and their lives. The child is practically irresponsible and dependent on the parent, so it can become a "lightning rod".

And of course, this is luck for a child if he found himself in a healthy family atmosphere and he was criticized and praised only in the case. By receiving healthy feedback from the world, he forms adequate self-esteem.

The path to self-respect

If a loved one leaves you, and even for the sake of someone else, this strikes a blow to narcissism. Makes you question your own worth. If the underlying narcissism is healthy and the self-esteem is adequate, then the breakup is easier to deal with. The sense of self-worth remains. An understanding comes that the choice in favor of someone else does not personally prove your inferiority.

But if self-esteem is initially low, then the departure of a partner can hurt very much. He is perceived as proof of his own unworthiness. In this unpleasant situation, many are trying to return a partner to restore self-esteem, being in demand becomes an indicator of their own value, but this is a false path.

It is more correct to work on your self-esteem, dignity, self-esteem

Diets, plastic surgery, expensive clothes, social achievements are a false path to self-affirmation. They allow you to feel their value only for a while. Therefore, internal changes are needed. As long as there is a deep feeling "I am not OK", then there will be any arguments in favor of this wrong belief: nitpicking your own appearance, comparing your own successes with others.

It is this path of internal change that Joanna chooses. And how her personal life will turn out now, the audience will see for themselves.