How To Destroy A Relationship? - Relationship, Sex

We all make mistakes. And if some of them have practically no consequences, then others can lead to a break in relations. What rake is it very desirable for men not to step on?

ERROR 1. Quit in a difficult situation

No one is immune from problems and troubles. This is not a flat tire, although in the case of problems of this magnitude, the help of a man is highly welcome. Unfortunately, there are more serious difficulties.

In one woman, doctors discovered a benign tumor and urged urgent surgery. Her husband quickly found a suitable clinic, paid for everything he needed, and flew away on a business trip. There he was very busy, there was practically no time to call his wife. When he returned, a note was waiting for him at home: "You are an insensitive, callous blockhead, I'm leaving you."

"Why? For what? - the husband sincerely wondered. - I solved all the questions! What complaints can there be against me?"

It's simple. From the wife's point of view, he left her. He left her to go through trouble alone. Didn't give emotional human support.

What does a woman want in such a situation? Experiencing a problem with a loved one

A man who does not understand this limits himself to doing some useful action and considers himself a fine fellow. And the woman will say: “You left me alone,” she will remember this story, sometimes he will recall it, and in the most extreme case, she will leave altogether.

ERROR 2. Hits - so run

Fortunately, assault as an argument in a dispute becomes a rarity, but in the notorious state of passion or intoxication such things, alas, happen. Since in our national unconscious there is a tolerance for physical violence and even its legitimization, women often endure the use of force by a man.

However, there is a growing number of women for whom assault in any form is unacceptable, and they are ready to part with a partner who is showing physical aggression.

Men often underestimate the trauma they inflict when they allow themselves to hit their wife. The pain from a blow and a bruise are unpleasant in themselves, but the emotional shock from violence from a loved one is much more serious.

If the hematoma disappears over time without a trace, then the psychological consequences will remain for a very long time, and the pattern “time heals” does not work here

The woman's head is endlessly "burning" a question-cry: "How could he raise his hand to me ?!" A mixture of pain, resentment, defenselessness, indignation corrodes, like acid, the idea of a normal marital relationship and the image of a beloved husband. As a result, the attitude towards the spouse changes, and the most dangerous change is the loss of respect for him. Next comes the loss of attraction, which affects the couple's sex life - and, in turn, launches a new round of mutual dissatisfaction.

Sometimes the destructive effects of physical abuse on a marriage stretch over time over months and years. However, the period "from blow to divorce" is often quite short: fewer and fewer women are ready to endure, forgive and continue to love the husband who opens his hands.

ERROR 3. Sexual selfishness

The times of sexual emancipation, apparently, have already come, but there is clearly no sexual enlightenment. Many couples do not hesitate to experiment in sex, do not blush in a sex shop and even discuss going to a swinger club, but they remain illiterate in basic things.

Men do not take into account the peculiarities of female sexuality and do not pay enough attention to setting up a woman for intimacy, foreplay, tenderness after intercourse.

“He only cares about himself, about his satisfaction. The positions are what he wants. He doesn't think about my excitement. I just endure and wait for it to end."

“After his orgasm, he turns away and falls asleep. He doesn't care if I'm satisfied and there is no tenderness after sex."

Unfortunately, there are many such stories. And there are fewer and fewer women who are ready to endure such an attitude towards themselves. An inattentive, selfish man in sex brings either his wife's betrayal or divorce closer. And "in the course of the play" he will face grumbles or tantrums from his wife for a variety of reasons - because of dissatisfaction in the sexual sphere.

The poisons and weeds of conjugal relationships

The described three mistakes are not an exhaustive list of men's "jambs" with serious consequences.

Here are six more marriage destroyers.

• 1. There is nothing to say in detail about infidelity: by starting a mistress, a man runs the risk of losing his family.
• 2. We have already mentioned the main destroyer of marital relations in our country - alcohol. Not everyone can (and want!) To endure a marriage with an alcoholic.
• 3. Insults, obscenities, rude curses can also overflow the cup of women's patience over time.
• 4. Inattentive, aggressive attitude of the husband towards children also becomes a reason for divorce.
• 5. Conflicts between a husband and his wife's close relatives: parents, sisters, brothers, are not “fatal” for marriage, but marital relations are greatly worsened.
• 6. Another vulnerability is the family budget: quarrels over money have made an irreparable gap in many family boats.

Consideration of the serious mistakes made by husbands, I would like to reasonably end on an optimistic note.

In most cases, if the problem is not severely neglected, it can be solved - on the basis of motivation to keep the family together, willingness to work on oneself and the help of a family psychologist