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Video: 3 Exercises For The Development Of Basic Support - Self-development
There is a concept of basic support. This is our inner state - how stable we feel in this world, how safe we are in it. To trust correctly is to trust where it is necessary, and where it is not necessary - not to trust. Can we build close relationships, can we rely on our loved ones? And can we trust ourselves?
Earth from under your feet
Basic support is acquired in childhood and depends on what kind of external support the child had. This refers not only to physical, but primarily psychological support. Could the child count on the environment? Were his loved ones stable, could he trust them, did betrayals happen in his life, when the earth seemed to be dramatically disappearing from under his feet? The external support system in the child's life is gradually absorbed and internalized. And then a basic, internal support is formed, a person can rely on himself, trusts himself and others.
Another factor that determines our basic support is our adult history, some kind of injury, primarily related to the loss of support. It may be an unexpected change in circumstances, for example, a catastrophe (an earthquake, the support has gone from under our feet in the literal sense of the word), it may be a social cataclysm: everything was fine and suddenly - bang! - everything has changed dramatically, prices for one night have increased 10 times. Or betrayal, not necessarily real, just the situation is experienced in this way if the person did not meet our expectations.
At such moments, it seems that the earth has gone from under our feet - this also violates our basic support. There are also traumas associated with assault and violence. There is a feeling that the world is not safe, we cannot trust it, in this world it is difficult to stand up for ourselves, it is difficult to stand on our own two feet.
Our childhood is not ideal, and in adulthood there are also a lot of stress factors, so the basic support, probably, no one has an ideal state.
What options for violations can there be?
- Option one: a person does not trust anyone - neither himself nor others. Naturally, he is doomed to loneliness and constant self-doubt.
- Option two: a person trusts only himself, relies only on himself and cannot trust others. This creates a lot of tension, hyperresponsibility, forces people to distance themselves in contacts and not let anyone close.
- Option three: the person trusts others too much. And maybe at the same time he does not trust himself, but relies on other people's opinions. He lets people get too close to him, and then there can really be disappointment in the relationship. A person who relies too much on others does not live his life. If the key life choices are made not by him, but by his environment, if a profession, a partner is chosen for him, he, as in Vysotsky's song, is rolling along someone else's rut. There are many mistakes in the life of such a person: "Oh, how is that, but I expected that there would be one thing, but it turned out completely different."
You need to restore your inner support. There are certain psychological exercises you can do yourself. You can perform them in silence, you can put some kind of relaxing music for the background.
Exercise 1. Tree
The first exercise: you stand up, your feet are about shoulder-width apart, and try to spring a little at your knees so that your legs are not too stiff and pinched. Close your eyes and imagine that you are a tree and you are growing roots in the soil. Try to feel stability, feel how the roots hold you firmly. The earth is good, you can take enough moisture and nutrients from it. This is how you take root. In the process, you can transform the image if you feel that something is wrong with your roots or the ground is dry, for example. Imagine: it's raining or the gardener is pouring from a watering can. That is, try to bring the image to the optimum and your sensations to pleasant.
Exercise 2. Magnet
It is advisable to do it barefoot. It is very important here that the foot feels the floor well and rolls over. And you imagine as if the floor magnetizes you very much. You put your foot down, gradually, gradually, rolling over, you magnetize. To take a step, you need to smoothly rip your foot off the floor, the ground holds you very well. For about 10 minutes you walk slowly around the room this way.
Exercise 3. Vanka-Vstanka
Stand with your feet about shoulder-width apart, and also spring a little with your knees so that your legs are not pinched. Reach stability and imagine that you have a magic ball in the lower abdomen, under the navel, that gives balance. As in a toy vanka-vstanka, which has a weight inside, the toy overturns and falls into place. You can put your hands on your lower abdomen and begin to swing in different directions with different amplitudes. It is necessary, of course, that you keep your balance so that you do not fall. When you practice, you will be able to imagine this ball, feel inside in difficult situations, and it will return your balance.