So Many-sided Loneliness - The Quality Of Life

When I found out that the UK has introduced the post of Minister for Solitude, the first reaction was: what nonsense! Whom do we create next: the minister for aggression, jokes and humor, awareness? But the event is actually of incredible importance! For the first time, it is recognized that a person's emotional life is important and affects physical health and overall quality of life.

Studies (prolonged, on a statistically significant sample) have been conducted that indicate that loneliness does increase the risk of cardiovascular diseases, dementia, depression, and also shortens life expectancy.

Solitude - isolation

Loneliness is multifaceted. For example, you can talk about the degree of loneliness. In its positive pole, it is solitude, which is pleasant, helps to regulate the density of communication and provides an opportunity for recovery. Many people dream of solitude. On the negative pole is isolation when contact with other people is lost.

Feeling or life situation?

There is another emphasis. The term "loneliness" simultaneously means both a feeling and a situation. If we talk about loneliness as a feeling, it can also manifest itself in people living in large families, working, communicating in social networks. It means that a person does not find in another the necessary spiritual closeness, acceptance and understanding.

Such loneliness is not so dangerous, since a person is next to others, which means he can find a loved one. Plus, one way or another, he gets a certain amount of social stroking. A temporary feeling of acute loneliness can be experienced by people who have parted with a loved one. Since parting is experienced as a loss, it also needs to be burned out. And move on.

Loneliness of the elderly

Another thing is when we talk about loneliness as an actual life situation. For example, when an elderly lady who buried her husband lives alone. The children have left, their older friends are sick, and they have no time for meetings. What else is left besides sitting in lines at the clinic? At least some activity and communication!

Although, I believe, in our society on this issue, a rather favorable situation. Many elderly people live with relatives and help with their grandchildren. We also have a cultural moment of “grandmothers at the entrance”. Many people laugh at them, but this is the club of interests that gives the necessary charge of communication.

Illness as a stigma

The second most important category of lonely people are those who are sick with the so-called "stigmatizing" diseases. Stigma is a stigma, negative label. Such diseases can include AIDS, chronic skin diseases with pronounced manifestations, various deformities, schizophrenia, and even cancer. Often these diseases and features create a social vacuum around a person.

Isolation loss

A middle-aged person who has lost a husband, wife or child can be isolated (“something that shouldn't have happened”). If the death of an elderly person is accepted naturally, communicated, and encouraged by others, in the event of a tragic death, isolation is much greater. People are afraid to say something wrong, and … they do not say anything, they leave communication.

In case of loss, it would be very nice to have psychological support. Sometimes a psychologist for the period of the first six months is practically the only person with whom full-fledged contact develops. Further, if grieving passes normatively, connections are restored, and new ones also appear.

Depression

Depression is a medical condition and should not be treated as a bad mood. In this case, there is not enough strength to communicate, although the desire for support may be even greater than usual. A vacuum forms around a depressed person, as it is difficult to communicate with him. And this leads to an even greater immersion in a painful state.

In this case, it is necessary to contact a psychiatrist for prescribing medications and a clinical psychologist or psychotherapist for psychotherapeutic assistance. As the depression recedes, there will be strength to re-establish communication.

Loneliness: why?

The development of man and civilization is such that unnecessary phenomena do not happen in him. And since there is something, then it is needed for something. Yes, yes, the painful feeling of loneliness from which you want to run is necessary.

Any movement towards change starts with scarcity. Indeed, if you feel warm, comfortable, good, will you move? If yes, then not too much, a comfortable level has been reached! And loneliness is a signal of an obvious lack of communication and / or emotional attachment. It's like a modern kettle, into which you forgot to pour water: it will give a signal until you fill it. So is loneliness - it beeps more and more if you do nothing to change the situation.

Loneliness Buffet

What can lead to loneliness? Loss, serious illness, neurosis, depression, shyness, stressful situation, moving - this is not a complete list of reasons. And in each situation there are peculiarities of the approach to the restoration of interaction. But, of course, getting back to people is the main goal of therapy.

Usually, those who experience loneliness are advised to go to people and start communicating. To be in places where you can speak, to leave the house more often. All this sounds rather naive, especially for someone who is immersed in a situation of loneliness and does not see a way out. He goes to the movies, tries to talk to someone, but this does not bring relief. In this case, it is good to have the accompaniment of a psychologist. Firstly, this is a person with whom constant contact is established. Secondly, the work takes into account the characteristics of a person's personality, his life situation.

Loneliness as manipulation

In the end, I would like to say about a special situation. Sometimes a person does not so much experience loneliness as talk about it. "I'm so lonely, I'm sitting here all day alone!" - says the unemployed wife to her husband. But in fact, he has time for a manicure, for shopping, and for communicating with friends realistically and virtually.

Is it about loneliness? Of course not. Thus, she seems to inform: "I miss you." It's not about loneliness, it's just about a lack of meaningful communication. But since the statement is built on the principle of "guess it yourself", it does not reach the goal. The husband may be angry or feel guilty - this is how everyday manipulation is experienced. So-so base for communication.

Loneliness and technical progress

I want to end it optimistically and dreamily. Now virtual communication is becoming more intimate. A multitude of video communication systems allow something that has never happened - face to face communication with those who are far away, anywhere from their smartphone. Social networks allow everyone to find a niche in which it will be convenient to communicate.

There are more and more opportunities to be close to others. And our brain, by and large, does not care whether you received a compliment personally or in the form of comments and likes. Therefore, the further, the more opportunities appear for non-loneliness. Let it not be about intimacy, but about a safe level of loneliness for health - perhaps. Long live progress!