Table of contents:
- And I definitely have a crisis?
- Signs of a crisis
- Three types of personality crisis
- What can you do about it?
Video: Three Exercises To Overcome The Crisis - Self-development
Do you know what a real crisis is? This is when you have absolutely no desires. And if you searched for an article on Google with the words “Okay, Google, what to do if I don’t want anything,” then you hit the spot. In the article you will learn everything about crises, you can determine whether you are in a crisis and what to do about it.
It is a generally recognized fact in the professional community of psychologists that usually the crisis of "unwillingness" overtakes a person aged 35–42 years
Why it happens? Because usually at this age there are already some merits, material wealth, family, achievements, social and material realization. And here a person begins to think: “What makes me happy? What I like? What turns me on?"
We need to throw more and more emotions, impressions and feelings into our psychological furnace in order to somehow feel happier and more fulfilled. And then what happens? Against this background, a personal crisis sets in, which comes already before 35 and is much more difficult than, say, twenty years ago.
If this topic is relevant for you, then you need to deal with the crisis in stages - from the very first step. And since you need to know the enemy by sight, let's start with the basics
In psychology, a crisis is defined as a serious condition caused by some situation or cause (loss of status, failure, stress, etc.). But at the same time, κρ? Σις is translated from Greek as “decision, turning point, outcome”. But no matter how the “crisis” is deciphered, there are only two ways to work with it - either stay in it, enjoying your role as a victim, or get out of the crisis pit for a qualitatively new level of your life.
And I definitely have a crisis?
But before you rush to the embrasure with your chest and try to get out of the pit of despair, if you decide to choose path 2, then let's initially diagnose - do you have a crisis?
To do this, familiarize yourself with the signs of a crisis and over each of them think: “Does it resonate with me? Does this apply to me? Am I doing this now? " After answering all these questions, you will be able to determine exactly whether it is worth fighting the crisis or whether you need to look for another reason.
Signs of a crisis
1. Inability to switch
If you have a crisis, then first of all you will begin to drag problems from one area of your life to another. For example, you quarreled with your husband and cannot switch to another topic. At work you think about divorce, while playing with your child you think about divorce, in the pool, in traffic, in the store. All your thoughts are reduced to one, and all areas of life suffer from this.
2. One fly in the ointment poisons all the honey in the barrel
As in our example with your husband, you transfer this tar of quarrel to others. As a result, relationships with loved ones deteriorate, because you are permanently tense and irritated, and this irritation is present everywhere. For example, if before you were completely unaffected by the call of a friend in the middle of a working day, now you let all the dogs down on your friend. The same happens with a child who was no more mischievous than always, with a dog that lay down on the aisle, although it always lies there, etc.
Criticality is manifested not only in relation to others, but also in relation to oneself. For example, if you gained 1.5 kg, then abruptly switch to a cabbage leaf and reproach yourself: "I am a fat weak-willed creature." Or let's return to a friend - well, says Svetka, whom you have known for half your life, cakes instead of cakes - she cannot do otherwise. Previously, you noticed this feature of your friend and even kindly laughed at her, but now Svetka is becoming the last fool because of one word.
Three types of personality crisis
The personality crisis that we are talking about now is also not as one-sided as it seems initially, and it also has its own types. There are many different points of view on this topic, and each psychologist classifies crises in his own way. I will tell you about three types that I meet most often in my practice.
1. The crisis of unfulfillment
This type of crisis raises its head when it seems to you that you have not done something, have not done, have not received something, that the best is behind and the future does not raise pleasant expectations.
2. The crisis of hopelessness
It can be described in one phrase: there is an understandable, planned life ahead, but it does not please.
3. Relationship crisis
This crisis occurs when relationships with other people do not suit you. It is not necessary to refer to this type of crisis only as a relationship with a soul mate - it also includes relationships with friends, colleagues, mother-in-law, etc.
What can you do about it?
So, you have diagnosed the crisis, defined its type. There is not much left - to get out of the crisis pit and start wanting to budge.
We offer three effective exercises that are easy to perform
Do not postpone their implementation on the back burner, because a prolonged crisis is a direct path to depression and other, completely unpleasant consequences.
Exercise 1. Down with generalizations
“Nothing pleases” is a generalization, specify the situation. Determine for yourself what exactly does not make you happy - work or relationship with a man? Maybe you are not happy about the family situation or financial situation? Sit down, relax, grab a notebook and write down everything that makes you angry, annoying, upsetting, etc.
Exercise 2. Come in, joy
If in the last exercise you defined the negative, now is the time to find out what makes you happy. Maybe you like to go to the cinema after work and enjoy a movie, go ice skating to your favorite music? Or do you love coffee from the same coffee shop where you buy it every day, and the barista no longer asks what to serve? What gives you pleasure - from the smallest to the most global? Make your list of the great things in life.
Exercise 3. Change the names and passwords
All the negativity and the positive is defined - it remains to switch from minus to plus. Try to focus your attention during the day on what makes you happy. Reread the list from the second exercise, notice and plan those moments that can please you today.
We have come a short way with you in this article, but another one awaits you - the way of implementing everything that we discussed. If, as you read, you answered your questions, made some notes in your head, noticed new opportunities, then half the way is already behind. If you haven't, now is the time to start. Do not postpone, do not be afraid, do all the exercises, answer all the questions and then you will feel how the grabbing paws of the crisis are releasing you.