Pair New Year Is Romantic, But What's The Catch? - Relations

New Year is both a romantic holiday and a test for romantic relationships, especially if the couple has formed relatively recently. How to maintain a romantic mood and go through possible difficulties for a relationship in a sustainable way? Our Psychology magazine shares its secrets.

The joys of the holiday and joint New Year's holidays are obvious. But what could be the catch?

1. Compatibility identifies all mismatches and mismatches

A joint meeting of the holiday, as well as previous preparation, show how partners suit each other. Are their tastes similar? Do they know how to negotiate?

For example, he wants an exotic trip, a holiday at the top of Kilimanjaro. And she believes that the New Year should be celebrated at home, with Olivier salad and the chimes on TV. It would seem that these are trifles, but they speak of a large internal difference between partners, which will lead to conflicts over and over again.

In the comedy Freud is to blame for everything (Italy, 2014) there is an episode in which a love couple decides to test their relationship as follows: each of them shows the partner a model of the interior of the future house. The resulting options turn out to be so different that the lovers wonder if they know each other well. And time shows that they really do not suit each other …

A joint holiday is a reason to check how your views coincide

So Happy New Year. A joint holiday is a reason to check how your views coincide. And on a large scale ("Where and how to celebrate the New Year?"), And in small things ("How to set the table? Should I turn on the TV and what to watch?").

2. Is it possible to negotiate with a partner?

The success of a union is determined not only by the level of initial coincidence. Much more important is the desire and ability to negotiate, cooperate, and make compromises.

Suppose the first pair has a high level of coincidence: both want a home New Year, "Irony of Fate" on TV, make a wish to the chimes … But they are not ready to cooperate. And then any little thing will turn into a scandal: when to put champagne on the table? Which TV channel to watch? After midnight, call your friends with congratulations or make love?..

The second pair has much less in common, but the partners are ready to negotiate. Does he want an exotic trip, and she wants a home holiday? Okay, they will celebrate the New Year at home, and the next day they will fly to Tanzania. She loves Irony of Fate, but is he tired of this film? Well, she will look, and at this time he goes shopping …

The desire and ability to negotiate is the key to a successful and lasting union

In this case, symmetry is important: as far as one partner makes concessions, so does the second. Otherwise, there will be an imbalance.

3. "Weekend neurosis"

This is the name of the complications that arise with a long stay together.

During the working week, partners are busy, they rarely see each other, even if they live together. And on weekends, they are around the clock. First, the aura of mystery is lost, difficulties on the way to a meeting disappear. Perhaps Romeo and Juliet's feelings would have subsided if their parents had not resisted this union.

Secondly, those aspects of the partner that may not be pleasant are identified. He forgets mugs everywhere, does not bring to the sink, she dresses sloppily, walks in worn-out slippers …

Third, when the area of contact becomes larger, the number of reasons for conflict also increases. Who takes out the trash? Whose parents should I go to with congratulations first?

What can you do so that the New Year holidays only strengthen your union?

• Agree in advance on how you will celebrate the New Year and spend your free time. What may seem obvious to you may be very different to your partner.
• Pay attention to how your wishes match.
• Is there a fatal mismatch? For example, she wants an exclusively vegetarian table, and he is a meat eater.
• Are you and your partner ready to agree on mismatches, respect each other? If someone is not ready to concede in small things, he can behave in the same way when it comes to something important …
• If you feel that you are too closed on each other, and this starts to annoy, offer to spend part of the time apart. For example, a wife might meet her girlfriends in a cafe, and a husband might go to the movies with friends.
• Give joy to your partner, share with him, make pleasant surprises. And accept with gratitude what he gives!