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Video: What Are Men Afraid Of? - Sex, Society
"My home is my castle". This kind of "military" image lives in the heads of many men. There, in his fortress, preferably reliable and comfortable, a man returns after "battles" on the business front. At the same time, family life for a man is also a source of anxiety and fear. Let's take a look at some of them and see what to do with them.
1. Life of loved ones
“The most important thing for me is for my wife and children to be healthy” - this statement will be signed by the majority of married men. They do the almost impossible when the life and health of their family members is threatened. Let me emphasize that the feeling of fear is even stronger not for oneself, but for one's relatives. It is exacerbated when one of them gets sick. In difficult cases, it can get to the point that it becomes difficult for a man to work: attention is scattered, disturbing thoughts are spinning in his head, not related to work issues.
Anxiety for loved ones cannot be “turned off” from life. The only thing that can and should be done here is to figure out whether unhealthy fears due to psychological trauma in the past are added to your normal natural fears for relatives. For example, one of my clients' mother died when he was 16 years old. The conviction stuck in his head: "I didn’t do it, I didn’t save her." When he had a daughter, his fears for her life and health were exaggerated due to the unworked loss. It is necessary to solve such problems, of course, with a psychologist.
2. Material support
"Am I doing a good job of providing for my family?" - this question is often asked by a man. For his self-esteem, it is important to be sure that the family lives well, but the criteria for everyone, of course, are different. A responsible man worries if he is a successful “breadwinner”, is his wife happy with him, is it good for the children?
Respecting the responsible attitude of the husband to the task of materially providing for the family, I note that many married men miss the other side of family relations, the emotional and communicative one. For most women, the attentive, caring attitude of the husband, his sincere interest and empathy, his willingness to listen and support, affectionate words and gentle touches are much more valuable. Therefore, I advise men not to link their "success" and "wealth" to material wealth, but to pay more attention to the sphere of marital relations: communication, mutual understanding, interaction.
Sexual life in marriage is the most important component of a close relationship, a source of joy and pleasure. At the same time, there are fears that may not appear for a long time, but at one point they become more active and begin to interfere with a normal life.
One question that worries men is: "Am I satisfying my beloved woman?" Another question that usually "sleeps", but if "wakes up", it brings severe torment, this is "Is my wife faithful to me?" When there are reasons for jealousy and suspicion, many men are simply "knocked out" by this situation.
It is necessary to talk about the intimate side of marital relations. Do not arrange "showdowns" with accusations, but try to understand your partner and explain your needs and desires.
When trying to clarify an ambiguous situation that causes jealousy, it is important to remember that trust is difficult to build but easy to destroy. It can be difficult for a man seized with jealousy to separate real evidence from speculation and fantasies.
It is easier to put everything on the shelves and not break the woods by discussing all delicate circumstances with an independent person whom you trust, or with a psychologist.
The list of male fears is not exhausted by these three points, there are others. For example, the older a man becomes, the more often he has fears for his health and performance (ability to provide for his family), for the future, as well as fear of loneliness. These experiences cannot be “turned off”; it is good when they can be shared with a life partner or with faithful friends.