About Partnerships In A Pair - Relationships, Reviews

Coco Chanel

• France, UK, Italy, 2008
• Director: Christian Dughet
• Cast: Shirley MacLaine, Barbora Bobulova, Olivier Sitruk, Bridgette Boucher

The emotional background is, in my opinion, what the director especially succeeded in. The viewer seems to feel along with the heroine her pain, humiliation, difficulties and love. The film is autobiographical, showing Coco Chanel not only as the author of the famous little black dress, but also as a person with her deep feelings and suffering.

To love only an equal

The film features two men from Chanel's life: Etienne Balsan and Arthur Capel. Etienne gives her a house, gives expensive gifts, makes exquisite compliments to her appearance. But he does not notice the talent, her creative and personal needs. But the realization of oneself in the social sphere was necessary for Gabrielle!

Moreover, Etienne devalues her life's work: "Is it a serious matter to sell hats?" He says in the film. He seems to be putting her in the place of a kept woman. Decides for both, where and when they go to travel, to go down Chanel for dinner or not. All his attention is directed to Gabrielle's appearance, he does not see her as an equal partner, ignores her feelings and dreams. But you can only love an equal.

Equality is not about the same amount of money, age and other characteristics, equality is about seeing a person in a person

It happens that a man openly does not allow a woman, for example, to go to work, develop, or resists this covertly, manipulating. Supports what is convenient for him, for example, the sexual sphere and everyday life, but devalues development in other directions. So it is easier for a woman to manage, control her, hold on to power.

You should not demonize just one of the parties; both have secondary benefits. For example, a woman may be scared to develop in the social sphere, but in a patriarchal family, this is not necessary.

There is also resistance on the part of a woman to the development and success of a man. The roots of this are low self-esteem (as in men), the fear that a person will become more successful, in demand and leave.

The way out is not to hinder the development of a partner, but to work with your intrinsic value, to develop yourself

Gabrielle's second man is Arthur Capel "Boy". Boy hears her desires, he cares about her feelings, he sees the potential in Chanel and carefully supports her development, believes in her. He sees in her an equal personality, helps to reveal her talent and realize himself through creativity and work. And Chanel knew how to work! The topic of power in this pair is not relevant.

Signs of a healthy relationship

Of course, men and women are different (for example, men cannot bear children). But what sets a partner apart is that, despite this difference, both respect each other and are equally valuable.

• Decisions are made as a result of an agreement between the parties.
• There is flexibility in relationships. It can be expressed in the flexibility of the distribution of functionality within the couple, whoever has the opportunity today prepares, cleans up or sits with the child. There is interchangeability.
• Everyone knows how to take care of themselves, that is, there is support for themselves.
• Both know how to express grievances to each other in a healthy manner.
• Both know how to talk about their needs.
• The pair has healthy boundaries. That is, for example, if it becomes necessary to take a partner's phone, this is done with permission.
• You are accepted for who you are. You do not play and do not pretend to be who you are not, both partners are able to communicate without masks.
• You can talk about almost any topic, including your fears and weaknesses, there is trust in the couple.

There are couples in which unhealthy exchanges take place. One has offended, the other takes revenge, the first has a desire to offend even more, and so on. There are couples where one gives a lot, while the other consumes more. And there are couples where one cares, the other responds in kind (exchange of good). Of course, anything can happen in life, and at some moments we need more support, and at some moments our partner needs more support. But keeping the take / give balance is one of the hallmarks of a healthy relationship.

To love is to see a person the way God intended him and his parents did not fulfill him.

Not to love - to see a person the way his parents made him.

To stop loving - to see instead of him: a table, a chair

Marina Tsvetaeva

Each person has potential, but, unfortunately, not many people reveal it. And of course, the support and faith of loved ones is of great importance. Not to love is not to see in a person his personality, soul, his self, essence or, if you like, a divine particle, but to see only his character, protective mechanisms.

The table and chair have their own functions. If in communicating with people we go to the level of function and stay there, then we do not get to the level of personality. Of course, each of us has our own responsibilities, but each of us is much broader than this functionality.

Seeing is one of the signs of love.