2 Exercises To Get Rid Of Envy - Society

“My best friend is getting married soon. Her chosen one is a very good guy, with a car-apartment, and most importantly, with a golden character. And for some reason I do not feel joy at all. Maybe this is some kind of bad feeling? " - sighing deeply, says Miroslava. Or maybe it's envy? Not everyone succeeds in admitting this feeling to themselves.

The most interesting thing is that to one degree or another we all envy each other

It is even more surprising that the objects of our torment are not distant Nobel laureates or first ladies, but those who are next to us - relatives, neighbors, colleagues and friends. So this "wormhole" periodically operates in each of us. The mechanism of psychological defense is triggered, we transfer the negative to those around us: "they envy me," "she is not worthy of this," "but he was just lucky …".

The reason for this unpleasant feeling is the upbringing and cultural environment. Even in the first years of life, parents begin to point out to their child more successful peers: "Look, Kostya is already putting on his shoes, Dasha got an A for the test, and you … could also try harder." Everyone has heard such phrases many times. Comparisons, prohibitions, failures, self-doubt, guilt are all fertile ground for envy. But envy and envy are different. It may be a desire to get something like that for yourself, a slight sadness and the thought "why am I worse?" Or hatred and the desire to trample the "darling of fate", backed up by evil gossip and real nasty things.

The further into the forest, the sooner you need help. The fact is that, in addition to the potential harm to your opponent, envy spoils your own life and negatively affects your health. There is an exit. We invite you to perform psychological exercises that will help you recognize and neutralize envy.

Exercise number 1My own premium

You will need: a photograph in which you like yourself, a sheet of A4 paper, pencils, scissors, glue, old magazines. 1. Glue your portrait in the center of the sheet. If you can't find the right photo, sketch yourself with pencils. 2. Imagine that the Ecumenical Commission awards you in three categories. What nominations will it be? What do you do best? “The Smoothest Pancakes”, “Joker of the Year”, “Best Employee”, “Mom Number One”, “Salsa Dancer”, “Specialist in Enchanting Five-Minute Makeup” … If you really want to, you can expand the number of titles. 3. Cut out pictures representing each nomination and attach them to your photograph. Hang the collage anywhere you see it. Let there be a constant reminder before your eyes that you, too, are gifted. 4. Now you have been admiring yourself for more than an hour, but this is not enough. Think about how you can develop and where to use your abilities better. Make an action plan.

Exercise number 2Analysis by syllable

You will need: notebook, pen. 1. Envy stuck? Stop dreaming of your competitor's failure. Every time you get drunk on your soul, write down how you feel. 2. Now let's figure out what you want: the same dish that the man at the next table, or his sparkle in his eyes. Do you understand? We envy not so much untold riches as others' success and happiness. The same car as your neighbor's is probably not what you want. Perhaps you want an expensive motorcycle or a simpler but more spacious car. Imagine that you are already the owner of the cherished one. Savor this state. Like it - add your goals to the lists! Something is wrong - look for the exact object and try it on until you "click". Here it is - your desired goal! 3. For example, you want to start a family. What are you doing for this? What's stopping you? Are you afraid of being alone? Are you plagued by questions at work? How many nuances were revealed that I did not want to think about. But now you know your desire, you have to solve problems and make plans. 4. In moments of doubt, when you want to give up, think about your opponent. Let it act like an invigorating shower, additional motivation. Envy is a terrible force. But if you have realized it, it will work for you.

Homework

Work on adequate self-esteem. The most versatile assistants in this matter are creativity and sports. Hit your insecurity and anxiety on both sides. Before you have time to look back, they already envy you! A person who draws, dances, cross-stitches and plays the tom-tam is always happier and more confident than … the same person who does not.

We always think that apples are sweeter in someone else's garden and the grass is greener. Leave watching other people's beds by launching your own crop. Compare yourself not with Petya, Vasya and Stesha, but compare yourself today with yourself yesterday. Use fleeting envy as a target and an impulse for action.