Rebuilding Emotions - Self-development

Are you angry and annoyed, indignant and offended, and sometimes envious? How not to shake these negative emotions, not to "feed" them with arguments, examples and arguments? Can you learn to switch and transform an internal hurricane into a tailwind?

A person cannot be at peace with others until he learns to be at peace with himself

Bertrand Russell

Our emotional states can be very different not only in color, but also in character. This is our internal radio: there are frequencies at which music sounds, and there are reports from the front, there are radio plays, and there are simply noises on the air. These states form the background, but in reality they do not reflect what is happening in your life here and now. It is important to be able to switch such "channels". Emotional processes can belong to the current moment, and it is important to experience them. If you are angry, it would be good not to suppress this feeling, but to live it; if you grieve and grieve, burn out and let go of what is lost.

In addition to "radio" and vital experiences, there are other emotions - those that haunt you, torment, torment you. You would be happy to get rid of them, they interfere with you, intrude into the usual course of things. But these states seem to have taken you prisoner. How to be? A psychological workshop will help.

1. Switch the wave and decrease the volume

The method is suitable for "radio experiences". One way is to discover inner peace and serenity. The road to this harmonious state runs through the body, through breathing.

You will need: five to seven minutes of free time and the opportunity to retire in silence. It's good if you're wearing comfortable clothes.

Instructions:sit comfortably with your hands on your knees. You can sit on a chair (in this case, your legs should be firmly on the ground and your back should be straight) or on the floor with your legs crossed. You can do this practice while lying on your back with your arms extended along your body. Close your eyes and relax your forehead and eye area. Make sure your teeth are not clenched. Concentrate on your breathing: inhaling for four counts, then holding the breath with your lungs full for two counts, going out for four counts, and holding your breath with empty lungs for two counts. You can count faster or slower, whichever suits you best. It may turn out that the scheme is more suitable for you not 4-2-4-2, but 4-4-4-4 - this will become clear after the first attempts. While you are following your breath, different thoughts may occur to you - try not to switch to them,keep counting. If you feel yourself out of rhythm, set yourself a metronome (you can download the mobile app). If this practice turns out to be "yours" - it will easily enter the usual routine, you will find that you can control your internal radio even in noisy places, in the middle of a crowd. And learn to replace disturbing thoughts with the light noise of the forest or the measured lapping of waves.

2. We disassemble for parts

Experiences that are spinning in your head and attract attention, although they are not directly related to the current situation, you can try to "sort it out". You can use an engineering solution called a mind map, mind map.

This is a tree diagram in which you can trace the connections of objects with the central element and with each other.

You will need: a sheet of paper, a pencil and an eraser, time to think. If the background music helps you think, you can play your favorite tunes.

Instructions: To build a mental map, center the name of the experience or the plot with which it is associated. In paper space, draw blocks with different details, circumstances, and details that you think are related to the center. More “active” or “tense” parts of the map can be larger in size. You can highlight different blocks with color.

Keep filling the map until you see the whole situation: connections between objects, pros and cons, benefits and losses, temporal and spatial relationships, causes and consequences, involvement of other people, etc. Think about which parts of this map (and the experience behind it) you can figure it out on your own, and in what you may need help. What specific resources would be worth attracting? What to tackle first, and what can be left for later? How do the phenomena you describe relate to each other, is there a cause-and-effect relationship between them? After thinking over the map, you may find that the emotions that disturb you no longer have a "registration" in your head, but instead of them a rather coherent understanding of an important situation for you has appeared, which these experiences served as an indication of.

3. Setting up internal dialogue

The experiences that were "born" here and now, it is important to live, and not suppress, hide from yourself. If you put them in the inner wardrobe, they will not dry out there, but, on the contrary, will acquire additional weight and volume over time.

You will have to spend a lot of energy to continue to suppress them, and over time this can affect the quality of your life - for example, "crawl out" through psychosomatic illnesses, fatigue or a feeling of deep dissatisfaction with life.

You will need: a sheet of paper, a pen, the ability to retire.

Instructions: you need to ask yourself a few questions. You can answer them in an internal dialogue with yourself or in an external one - on a sheet of paper.

• "What exactly do I feel?" You may have to choose the right name for your experience. If the word is not immediately found, you can use the dictionary of emotions.
• "When did I start to feel it, in what situation and at what moment?" Describe the conditions in which the experience arose.
• "Why am I feeling this?" Here, perhaps, an unexpected answer will come to mind, linking your experience with some additional circumstances. Or some clarification and addition will appear.
• "How can I help myself get through this feeling, give it a place, treat myself with respect in this process?" Perhaps, ideas will appear on how exactly the experienced feeling can be thrown out - to mourn, to burn out it in conditions specially organized for this.

At some point, you will realize that you can not only manage your emotional states, but also listen to them, use them as a tool for self-knowledge, treat them with respect and accuracy.