Table of contents:
- Can't get a job for a long time? Perhaps this situation is associated with psychological problems - with unresolved family and personal issues. Shall we figure it out?
- First story. Looking back at the family
- The second story. For personal reasons
- Strive for change
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Can't get a job for a long time? Perhaps this situation is associated with psychological problems - with unresolved family and personal issues. Shall we figure it out?
Using the example of several psychological vocational consultations, I propose to understand how to find an obstacle, realize it and finally get a job.
First story. Looking back at the family
A young married woman came to see me. She believes that due to maternity leave she lost her qualifications and will not cope with future work, she was invited for an interview in her specialty in a large organization related to her previous place of work, but did not receive an answer. Confidence has been replaced by fear of the future.
Working with her little son all day long, she does not feel the support of her husband. When asked what the job is for, he replies that he seeks to ensure financial independence if a divorce occurs. It is becoming clear that chronic emotional stress has become the main obstacle to employment at this stage.
Looking for a solution
As it turned out, the woman did not even want to think about the likelihood of a divorce from her husband. She hoped that active involvement in her career would help resolve an imminent family conflict. But with all the sympathy for her position, it is clear that with this approach, work can become that fateful ax that will finally cut the family in half. And this result was unconsciously sabotaged by the wise psyche with fear of the interview.
The motivation for employment in such cases should be completely different. Future work may not divide, but unite the family. For example, additional income will allow you to spend part of the money on a nanny and to be together more often, to “go out”. Such a decision will free up time for strengthening the union in a couple, and will also help the separation of the son from the mother.
Together we found motivation for employment, which helped the woman harmonize her family and return to work.
The second story. For personal reasons
Quite often, when we quit our job, we write: “of our own free will,” based on personal reasons. So it was with my client, who underwent lengthy rehabilitation after the accident and now cannot get a job again. He himself suggested that it was impossible to return to the profession because of an injury that happened three years ago. A man in his prime, in his thirties, got rid of his cane a few months ago.
Looking for a solution
But, as it turned out, there was also a psychological trauma. The man was abandoned by his girlfriend, which exacerbated the difficult mental situation. The accident and personal drama finally knocked me out of my usual life. Psychological counseling helped the man to rebuild and accept the inevitability of changes in life, the need to work and study.
As you can see, the motivation to work was restrained by psychotrauma, the remedy for which the person could not immediately find.
Strive for change
There is another of the typical personal traumas in the problems of employment of adults - latent depression, but I will clarify, not clinical, but psychological. When suppressed unconscious experiences of grief and sadness are associated with codependency with a deceased person.
Working through grief, as it is customary to denote the psychological process of experiencing loss, does not occur in this case. After a certain number of years of such a life, a person ceases to strive for change, does not want to overestimate opportunities and make plans. There is a systematic fading of the personality. New and interesting work and new friends can help.
We looked at examples of family and personal reasons that prevent the desire to work, and therefore maintain a decent standard of living. There is another problem - labor conflicts, mobbing, followed by dismissal. Memories of a difficult situation lead a person to hysteria and a neurotic state. But that's the topic of the next article.