Work On Yourself - Blogs

Is it worth working on yourself? There is always a choice. If we ourselves do nothing, then we become victims of the influence of other people or random circumstances. A proactive position is more advantageous. Better to do and regret than not.

In the very phrase “work on yourself” there is some kind of doom, obligation, compulsion and boredom. More attractive is “interacting with yourself”. Sometimes this interaction can be work, sometimes a game, adventure, joke, creativity, doing what you love. And each of these facets will help change your life for the better.

The iron cells of the brain grow stronger over the years

Three steps to change

1. Before interacting with yourself, you need to find yourself

This happens in moments of awareness of their thoughts, feelings, emotions, behavior. This is how we learn reflection, become aware. In fact, working with a professional psychotherapist develops these very skills.

2. Separate yourself and your desires, especially destructive ones

To understand that it is not we who experience desires, but desires that govern us. For example, it is not a person who wants to smoke, but the brain, intoxicated with nicotine, sends signals about this desire. Every time we really want something, it is important to remember that this is not what we want, but the programs that are embedded in us.

3. Consciously manage the focus of attention, which cuts out certain events from reality

We find ourselves in what we absorb, in information, events, actions. If you collect informational trash in the form of scary news or mystery TV shows, you end up creating yourself out of this garbage. One cannot find oneself, one can only create from the found, consciously chosen.

In general, working on yourself, you will not remain unemployed. Although this activity is not always enjoyable. While interacting with oneself, many have to part with wonderful illusions of self-perception, which is very painful.

What mistakes can we make?

1. Not finding ourselves, we interact with ourselves

Many begin this work before they find themselves, and then are surprised at the dire consequences.

2. Inconsistency in changes

Change is an ongoing process.

3. Considering that we are working on ourselves, we direct all our energy to others

Agree, it is difficult to work on yourself when you are all the time busy changing others.

But in working on oneself, one cannot do without others. Our brain is often unable to see all the complexity of the picture of the world, and here pseudopsychologists come to the rescue. On the one hand, they simplify the picture of the world, making it understandable, and on the other hand, they exaggerate fears and trade in them. What people call thinking is often ignoring existing relationships and looking for non-existent ones that would fit their picture of the world.

It's time to stop being a sponge for absorbing information. If you put a sponge in a puddle, it will absorb dirt, so it is dangerous to be open to anything new. A more rational way is to intelligently filter with critical thinking. Another question is that experience and reason may not be enough for this. Therefore, it is important to understand your limitations and turn to the right experts. In order for a person to come to a new thought on his own, it is desirable to break or gently transform his stereotypes.

A person is evolutionarily sharpened to make a decision immediately - to freeze, run, fight or surrender. Our brains are more likely to stick to the beliefs they already have and explain the world based on those beliefs

He is much more likely to accept those theories that do not contradict his picture of the world. The brain is lazy, it does not want to waste energy on reformatting itself, it follows the path of least resistance, which is reasonable from its point of view.

The brain does not have enough time, energy, or power to comprehend the complexity of the situation. And in this case it is necessary to turn to scientists and experts.

How to listen to experts?Bertrand Russell's Three Rules

1. If the experts have come to an agreement, the opposite opinion cannot be considered true

2. If they do not agree, none of the opinions should be considered correct by the non-experts

3. When all the experts have decided that there is insufficient basis for a definite opinion, it is best for the average person to refrain from judgment

To summarize, we can say that it is better to be insecure than confident, but not in yourself. Critical doubt is always better than blind certainty. Asking yourself the right questions can help you realize your true aspirations. It will be even more effective to do this by working with a therapist.