Unequal Sex: Why We Prefer Young - Relationship, Sex

What motivates people looking for a younger partner? Is this normal or pathological? How strong can such a union be? Yuri Prokopenko, a practicing sexologist, candidate of medical sciences, answers these questions.

The vast majority of people have sex all their lives, from youth to ripe old age. Many men and women, both after 60 and after 70 years of age, in surveys and research, say that they are sexually active or would like to live, but have lost their partner. Age in this matter plays a certain role, but not the most important one. Health and desire play a primary role.

Men

Men are looking for younger partners for the following reasons:

• 1. The nature of the male. It is typical for a man to enter into a relationship with a younger woman according to the laws of nature - such a female gives birth to a more viable cub, she has more strength and energy to raise it. In addition, in this case, there is a greater chance that the couple will have more than one child.
• 2. Physiology. A young woman is more attractive and can stimulate her partner with her activity. Men whose sexuality may decline with age will be thrilled with a younger partner. Her youthful body, smooth skin, fresh face excite a man, make him think about sex much more often.
• 3. Uncertainty. Some men with psychological problems may seek contact with younger partners, because they believe that "the young still does not know a lot and will consider me experienced and capable, while a woman of my age will understand that I am a layman in sex." … This motive can arise in anxious, insecure men.
• 4. Separation by roles. This separation and search for a partner for oneself stems from childhood. Someone is looking for a child partner, someone is a parental partner, someone is an equal partner. One option is a male father looking for a female daughter. He will educate her, take care, and she will look at him from the bottom up, do everything for him. Such an incentive does not happen often, but the relationship is quite viable as long as the woman-daughter does not want an equal partner. If the man cannot rebuild, then the relationship will fail.

Women

Women are looking for younger partners for similar reasons, but after 40 years, unlike a man, a woman is looking for a young man specifically for sex and very rarely for procreation.

Before menopause, nature actively utilizes the remaining eggs. There is a release of hormones, the appearance is rejuvenated. Social factors are also on the woman's side: the children have grown up, there is time for themselves, the woman is independent and most often earns enough to satisfy most of her needs.

• 1. A mother is looking for a young partner. Psychologically, the woman has grown, but she is not at all ready to give up positions and wants bright sex with an attractive, active (unlike her husband) young man. She finds a young stallion and exploits him. It happens that he can exploit it, for example, materially. This cannot be attributed to pathology. This is a version of the relationship that suits both parties.
• 2. Women, however, like men, can get younger. Having done a facelift and dressed in a youth fashion, they do not take into account that it is impossible to live in the rhythm of 20-year-olds at 45, and even more so to think like them. Therefore, in this scenario, the search for a young partner is usually limited to "sex for one night."
• 3. One of the options is when a woman is trying to regain her youth in action. When her youth was interrupted by the need to give birth and raise a child or several children. Now there was a desire to return everything. The children have grown up, the husband is clumsy. And a woman wants a holiday, to nature, to walk, to live life to the fullest. From this point of view, a young, and most importantly, an unmarried partner is very suitable for a relationship, with whom all this can be done.
• 4. Rarely is the desire or need to have a child intertwined with the search for a younger partner. However, some women really think that it makes no sense to enter into a relationship with an age partner, from whom it may not be possible to get pregnant, and the quality of the semen may be low, it is more logical to have a young lover who will give pleasure and become a good donor for conception.

In the relationship between a man and a woman, someone will always be older and someone younger. The main thing is that both parties are happy with it.

In their youth, women are most often drawn to an older partner; after 40 years, feeling still young and attractive, to a younger one. In this aspect, any relationship can be considered normal

There is no pathology in this, because both partners are adults and are responsible for their lives and actions and act without coercion. However, it is worth remembering that a long-term relationship in any age scenario is possible only if the partners sincerely want to be together and work on the relationship. Love, care, involvement in family life will make the bond strong, no matter what the age difference between them.

Science identifies the 10-15-year difference as the maximum between partners in order for them to remain “on the same wavelength”. With a greater difference, generational conflicts and misunderstandings can arise.

And yet, everyone decides for himself how many years his partner can be older or younger. Because there are rules and there are exceptions to them.

Photo: © Yakov Filimonov / Photobank Lori