Table of contents:
- Here's something to think about: why does your husband compare you to your mother? And why are you losing this comparison? What do you need to learn from your mom to delight your husband?
Video: When Mother-in-law Is Nicer Than Wife - Society
A year ago, I married a fellow student. We live in the same apartment with my mother. And so I began to notice that my husband was showing signs of attention to my mother. Gives compliments, says that she "still, oh-ho, will give a head start to the young", gives flowers. Once he said that he had married successfully - to look for such a mother-in-law. Is this normal? Daria, 21 years old
Obviously, this is not normal for you once you decide to see a specialist. The psychology of relationships is multifaceted, and even in your story there are several possible scenarios. Nevertheless, the situation must be taken under control. You are in a difficult position between two close people. You are hurt, hurt and scared. Maybe it is the fears that paint the situation so tragic?
Fear of losing a loved one, fear of betrayal, betrayal creeps in when a woman is not self-confident enough. Confidence in yourself as the best wife, best friend and mistress for your husband will cause the same husband's confidence in you! At the same time, it would be nice not to be late for college, to have time to cook breakfast, find a common activity for your married couple and find a friend of the same age for your mother.
I will assume that mom raised you alone. She definitely had time to go to work, and to study, and take you to circles or to the pool. So? At the same time, it is possible that she herself visited the pool or gym in order to drive out of her head the longing-sadness for the relationship that did not work out with your dad. And now, when her obstacle race distance has been successfully overcome - you grew up, study at the institute and got married, mom can look around.
This race kept her in good shape, kept her fuse. By her example, my mother probably wanted to instill style and taste in her daughter, so she now looks great. More or less like this? So, when mom had the opportunity to look around, only one man constantly appears in her field of vision - your husband. I think you should take care to expand this circle. Look for single free men among the fathers of your peers! And be more interesting to your husband yourself! More interesting than your mom. I would love you to hear another compliment from your husband. For example, this: "What a wonderful mother-in-law I have - she brought up such a wonderful daughter, and this treasure is my wife!" Sounds nicer, doesn't it?
Do you know your husband's childhood story? That is, you know his parents, other relatives? This is important because, for example, knowing that he was also raised by one mother and she, unlike yours, could not keep herself so well, in contrast, your mother can cause delight and admiration. But all the same - you should evoke these emotional states in your husband!
Here's something to think about: why does your husband compare you to your mother? And why are you losing this comparison? What do you need to learn from your mom to delight your husband?
And the fact that your husband gives flowers to his mother-in-law can be regarded as gratitude, do you think? Maybe all household chores are on her shoulders? You, Daria, have taken on the voluntary responsibility of being a wife. Do you not allow your mother to perform these functions? The lives of a man and a woman, their bed, their meals should be shrouded in an aura of mystery for two! Only then will the magic of a woman be the same for her man. If there is no other possibility than living in one apartment, then there is certainly an opportunity to draw invisible boundaries between two families who are forced to live under the same roof.
Your mom is your children's family. It is a thing of the past from the very moment you started your own family. There can be absolutely no other kindred relationship!
Take your life into your own hands! And I really hope that soon you will hear the right compliment from your husband!
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