Loud To Myself - Self-development

Who among us has not spoken to ourselves at least once? About 70% of people do it regularly - both silently and out loud. Meanwhile, we know very little why, how and when it is correct to conduct an internal dialogue.

Today, only a few psychologists are studying this topic, and only a couple of hundred scientific articles touch on it in one way or another. By the way, Lev Vygotsky made a significant contribution to the understanding of this phenomenon almost a hundred years ago.

He suggested that children are born social and learn the world through communication. And as soon as they master the language, they immediately begin to use it for learning: conversations with parents, with other children and toys. A stage arises when the child discovers that he can talk to himself. He does it the same way as with others, out loud. Children talk to themselves when they play:

- What am I doing? The child asks himself.

- I'm making a house. I need a sofa!

- How many sofas do I need?

- Two.

It is interesting that the child prefers to talk to himself aloud in the presence of others. Put a bunch of three or four-year-olds in a room and they will start chatting, mostly to themselves.

Then, as they grow older, such communication with oneself becomes hidden. In adulthood, it is either short and fragmentary, in a telegraphic style, or it remains expanded, grammatically verified and unhurried. Despite the fact that the conversation has become inaudible, it is just as much dialogue and it is just as important as communication with other people. Do not be afraid or ashamed of what you say to yourself, even out loud. Better to learn how you can do it with benefit.

In the struggle with himself, he called himself for help

Vladislav Bozhedai

Like any dialogue, it takes place between at least two parts or fragments of what is commonly called "I". Whether you are talking to yourself, to an imaginary friend or to Zarathustra, it is all a dialogue with yourself.

Perhaps no one in the world is more actively involved in this topic than Charles Ferniho, professor of psychology at the University of Durham (UK). Here are some facts from his book The voices within (not yet translated into Russian):

• Inner speech is not associated with physical limitations - after all, it does not require opening your mouth, moving your lips and exhaling air. One study found that some people can "talk to themselves" at a speed of several thousand words per minute.
• Some hear only thoughts, without sound, intonation and timbre, and some hear everything, including the accent. Even deaf people speak to themselves using sign language.
• Conversations with your pets are also, in fact, conversations with yourself, just in a different form.
• Some people practice meditation precisely in order to suppress the inner voice, to calm the brain. This is a daunting task, and most never do it.
• We talk to ourselves when we are preparing for an important conversation or exam, when we are preparing a phrase in a foreign language, when we are trying to remember something important. Talking to yourself in the car, especially when performing maneuvers in difficult conditions, or reminding yourself of something, is not only normal, but also useful.

“Stay on topic, Donald! Calm, only calm. " During the campaign debates, the current US President Trump often spoke such phrases out loud from the podium, and this caused laughter and applause from his supporters. This is a risky joke: everyone understands, but - on the verge. After all, we know how we relate to people who speak out loud to themselves. Donald Trump tried to show by this that he has to make additional efforts in order to contain himself. Talking to himself, Trump sought help and found it.

Andy Murray said that before winning the historic 2012 US Open match, he forced himself into the locker room and, standing in front of the mirror, read himself an encouraging speech in a winning spirit. The tennis player is sure that this helped him win. And he is not alone. Hundreds of photos of athletes show that they are talking to themselves before the performance.

Many people talk in supermarkets so as not to forget what to buy and to find the right product. Verbal naming can improve visual processing. Simply put, if you repeat: "curd, curd", then you will find it faster. It also helps you stick to your list rather than being tempted. When we say, "Where are the damn keys ?!" - we really help ourselves to find them.

When we speak out loud, we also connect auditory memory. This helps us use more memory and is useful when we are preparing a complex meal.

There is a kind of experiments, during which people are asked to repeat something to themselves, hammering the internal dialogue, and given a task. For example, children are asked to assemble a puzzle with towers and repeat some numbers. The result is predictable, the guys are worse at coping with the task than they could. Tasks for speed of reaction, for making decisions - they all turn out to be worse done if you suppress internal dialogue.

It is extremely difficult to investigate the internal dialogue, but modern methods come to the rescue, including a tomograph. The most productive method is Descriptive Experience Sampling. A person is given a beeper that beeps at a random time. When a sound is heard, the subject needs to write down what kind of thoughts he has in his head and convey them to the scientists.

This method revealed an amazing thing: it seems to us that internal dialogue is most often negative, but in most cases it is positive or neutral. Think about how little we know ourselves: we are sure of something, but it turns out that everything is wrong.

More about this

Dyakonov G

Psychological studies of dialogue and reflection.

LAP Lambert Academic Publishing, 2015.

How to talk to yourself correctly

Since we are still conducting an internal dialogue, then let's figure out how to do it. Is there a difference whether inner speech is built from the first, second or third person?

When you have done something good, and no one is around, then, having said to yourself: "I am a clever girl" or "I am a genius, away from doubts", you immediately reward yourself with the most sincere compliment on Earth. The result of a simple experiment will help us learn how to do this correctly. The researchers asked people to solve puzzles and cheer themselves up either in the second person (“you can”!) Or in the first person (“I can!”). It turned out that cheering from the second person is more effective, especially in the imperative mood.

And there is a simple explanation for this process. Remember: as a child, you constantly heard "you" and the imperative verb. With these words, your parents and others have guided your behavior.

In 2010, the famous basketball player LeBron James said a strange phrase during an interview: “One thing I didn't want was to make an emotional decision. I wanted to do what was best for LeBron James and to make LeBron James happy. " Then commentators on the Web wrote that it looks like he was crazy, if he says so. Still, in society, it is not very customary to talk about yourself in the third person. But who can condemn genius?

"Oh yes Pushkin, oh yes son of a bitch!"

Another explanation: when we call ourselves "you" or by name (which, by the way, does not matter), we distance ourselves from ourselves. This allows you to look at yourself from the outside and act less impulsively.

In general, it is noted that those who use internal dialogue understand their emotions, understand themselves better, and control themselves. Do not be shy about it, but enjoy and enjoy. Tell yourself: “Who is great? I'm done!"

Literature

• Dolcos S., Albarracin D. The inner speech of behavioral regulation: Intentions and task performance strengthened when you talk to yourself as a You // European Journal of Social Psychology. 2014. DOI: 10.1002 / ejsp.2048.
• Fernyhough C. The voices within: the history and science of how we talk to ourselves. London: Profile Books, 2016.
• Hurlburt RT, Akhter SA The Descriptive Experience Sampling method // Phenomenology and the Cognitive Sciences. 2006.5 (3). 271-301.