Change Cheating - Relations

I love my wife very much, but I constantly cheat on her. I understand that it sounds funny, but it is. I value my wife very much, she is a wonderful partner in every sense. But I miss the thrill. Casual sex on the side is like a drug, I can't refuse. Although we have great sex with my wife, we are experimenting. My wife does not know about infidelity, and everything seems to be in order, but my conscience torments me wildly. Vadim, 32 years old

Let's figure it out - just honestly. Are you sure you can't fight your cravings? Or do you just not want to give up temptations? This is really a fundamental point, because your treatment depends on it and what kind of specialist will deal with you.

Here's the thing: if you have the first option (that is, you really can't change the situation) - this is a serious mental problem. Not psychological. This is an obsessive state, when something alien, not "one's own", literally makes you do what you don't want to do. And then no elaboration of feelings and thoughts will help you. Neither you, nor a professional psychologist can handle this. This is treated by a psychiatrist. Like any obsession - even an obsessive account of cracks on the sidewalk, even an obsessive craving for food or, on the contrary, starvation. This is a painful deviation of your psyche from the norm. That is, you have a problem that is much more serious than banal betrayal.

The second option is still self-deception. That is, we are not talking about any "I can not". You just don't want to solve this problem and work on yourself, despite a balanced (supposedly) discourse. You simply simply cannot control yourself and use the opportunity to successfully deceive your wife. Moreover, this deception seems to be designed for her big heart: even if information about your adventures emerges, you are almost sure that you will cry - and in the end you will be able to agree. Perhaps you are even subconsciously waiting for such an outcome: if you repented, you felt better yourself, and your wife is on the spot (she endures further).

For a man to confess to infidelity means to forgive her to himself

Etienne Rey

The grain of guilt that seems to you to be the main problem is actually just a signal of the problem. A signal to make a really important choice. Recognize yourself as sick and go to the doctor? To continue to stifle your conscience further (which will be more and more difficult each time, unless, of course, you go further in your self-deception and convince yourself that you are behaving "normally")? Or make an effort on yourself and still change the situation? The choice is yours. Good luck!

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