Lose Weight For The Sake Of Her Husband - Self-development

My husband asks me to have breast augmentation surgery. I consulted with my friends, they say that you shouldn't do this, that everything is fine with me. My husband also says that I need to lose weight. Valeria, 34 years old

Valeria, it is not entirely clear from your words what the question is. Would you like someone else to decide for you which opinion to listen to? Or are you asking how this situation reflects your relationship with your husband? This description lacks the most important thing: where are you in this situation?

I cannot assess your appearance and attitude objectively, and I do not know how fair your husband's remarks are. Unfortunately, many generations of men and women have been brought up on strict requirements for an ideal body. Previously, it was the famous ratio of 90-60-90, then anorexia came into vogue, and now a sports figure and relief muscles are put on the pedestal. But at all times, the most faithful was one slogan that drowns out all stereotypes and ideals: "Be yourself!" Do you, Valeria, consider yourself beautiful and attractive? Are you comfortable in your body? Do you want to change something and are you able to do it?

There is one exercise that is difficult for many women (and men too): to be alone with your reflection in the mirror for at least half an hour. Nude

Try to get a good look at yourself. Try to see yourself as a holistic image, as a person, behind all the curves of your body. The body fully reflects everything that happened to you in life: all the traumas and accomplishments, all the laziness and the work done, all the fears and daring experiments. Perhaps you will find that you are admiring yourself, and then all the complaints of your husband are on his conscience. But if you don't like looking at yourself the way you are, it's time to really change something. You can always start with a healthy diet and with at least minor, but regular physical activity. This will not make you worse, and, as you know, there is no limit to perfection.

Nevertheless, the main question I see is this: is it fair to demand to change for the sake of someone else, even if it is a legal spouse? I do not presume to judge your husband's motives - this is his inner world, and, probably, he has subjective reasons for asking you for something. But perhaps he simply chose the wrong form in which he put on his request. If you have been together for a long time, it is quite expected that ardent feelings could fade away and by such a request the spouse may try to revive his own interest in you. But there are many other ways to regain your femininity.

Think about what you did to get his attention when you first started dating and what attracted you to him. Maybe you have something to ask him? Marriage is not a reason to let the relationship take its course and relax, hoping for loyalty to the grave. Your overall task is to maintain mutual interest and freshness in the relationship, and here it is not at all about the size of the chest and the girth of the waist.

© Evgeny Atamanenko / Photobank Lori