Emotions - To Be Recycled - The Quality Of Life

There are people for whom the entourage of folk festivities - loud music, bright lights, shouts - was a signal to enjoy themselves. The heart begins to beat faster, the eyes widen, the legs seem to be carrying them to the cheerful clown. Hurrah! The circus has arrived! Or is it the other way around? You see the crowd, hear the hurdy-gurdy squeal, smell fried sausages, incomprehensibly-in-oil, blinking garlands cause migraines, the skin gets goosebumps, starts to feel nauseous … You know for sure that it won't be great.

Impressionable natures

Many children get sick after attending entertainment events, whether it be a circus or a theater, not so much and not only because they "picked up viruses", but simply from an overabundance of impressions and emotions. They cannot or cannot process strong feelings - both negative - fear, grief, anger, and positive - delight, joyful excitement. Please note that joy or sadness are not included in this list, they are much weaker "in modulus", do not cause a crushing reaction, do not knock down.

From the very birth, we can notice (if we look closely) that some kids do not really pay attention to the sharp sounds outside the window, continue to sleep, although the TV is working nearby and daddy speaks loudly on the phone, happily join in the round dance of Santa Claus, laughing, squeal with happiness and jump when they watch the fireworks. My son was like that in childhood: he slept calmly in his basket right in the middle of the holiday, cried, and did not get upset, in a rage he could literally beat against the walls, screamed in the literal sense "like a cut one." Choleric.

Own passions, otherwise passions will take over you

Epictetus

And there are others: more impressionable, as if the sensitivity regulator was twisted to the maximum, timid, timid. They can go crying from the fact that a dog barks outside the door; it is difficult to put them to bed in the evening, because they are overwhelmed with daytime impressions, they demand to turn off the cartoon in a certain place, because something sad or scary is happening there. But they easily determine your mood, they can come up and just silently hug you if they see that you are sad, they love to make small gifts, they remember all the smallest events of your life together.

A beloved boy of mine watched scary (or embarrassing) movies upside down on the couch. It was so bearable. In especially tense places, he ran out the door and from there asked the "insensible" me: "Is it over?"

It is just difficult for such kids at festivities. All their senses are attacked: sounds, rhythmic vibration of low frequencies, pushing and running around, screeching, bursts of laughter, the smell of popcorn and cotton candy, everything flickers in front of your eyes … There is something to burst into tears!

If this is not a mass event, but, for example, a play or a film, then it is also hard. The spectacle on the stage captures and completely draws you into the plot, again, the volume, as a rule, is higher than usual, the hall freezes and exhales at the same pace. For a sensitive empath or impressionable hyper, this is an absolutely outrageous load.

Method "Faces and Emotions"

This way of exploring the emotional sphere of children is good because it is suitable for all ages. Its essence is simple. A child or teenager needs to draw 6 important people for him (mom, dad - it's understandable, and then it's more interesting), then 6 important aspects in life for him (home, school, but what else will happen?). And then he is given 6 “emoticons” with varying degrees of severity of positive and negative emotions, and now these “emoticons” must be distributed first among people, and then among spheres of life.

It is possible to recognize the deep feelings of children not only by the very arrangement of the "emoticons", but also by the process of this arrangement: how quickly did you manage to arrange the "good smilies", "bad smilies", at what moments doubts arose, how the "smilies" changed places, etc. P.

Prevent explosion

1. Evaluate realistically the value and necessity of attending cultural events, especially during vacations and weekends.

2. Ask yourself honestly: who needs it? Me, so as not to sit with a bored child at home? Me, to put a tick in the must do list of a good parent? Me, because no one went anywhere with me, but I wanted so much?

3. If all the answers are "yes" - prepare a beachhead and stock up on supplies, that is, choose a weekday, a short route, and, please, no more than one event a day, and preferably no more than two a month.

4. Study the description of the proposed amusement thoroughly. What will the show be made of? How long will it last? Are there any scary elements in the program (wild animals, huge balloons that are thrown into the hall, clowns on stilts, “deadly numbers” like tightrope walkers)?

5. Always take tickets from the edge, near the aisle, so that if something happens you can get out unnoticed and, if you're lucky, unnoticed return. Once I disregarded this rule, or rather did not foresee that a row of seats can only be opened from one side. Well, all the prim and oiled parterre had to listen to very loud and expressive comments of a five-year-old girl and a six-year-old boy on the topic “Why does this fat aunt think she is a fairy? Mom, is she really flying? (Eyes are huge and full of horror.) Why do ballerinas stomp so loudly? And the Dragon's neck tape fell off! Mom, I don't like the way the music rumbles, let's get out of here. I'm bored, it doesn't sound like my cartoon. " As you can imagine, the idea of introducing first-graders to the great musical culture failed.

6. Be ready to leave at the first request of the child. Do not persuade him to "be patient, it will be interesting further, you will like it." Maybe he will agree to listen to music from the foyer or from the ajar door of the auditorium. Or maybe he will get a lot of pleasure watching the sparrows in the theater yard. Don't push.

7. Consider age and physical capabilities. The preschooler tolerates about half an hour's performances well, then his attention is scattered and then he is present only nominally. In good children's theaters they know this and break the performance into two short acts.

8. Do not give children soda! Firstly, she really wants to go to the toilet. Secondly, it causes unbearable thirst. Thirdly, an instant injection of glucose into the blood leads to strong excitement, and after twenty minutes - to a tangible feeling of hunger.

Coloring method

You can determine the emotional state of a child by asking him to paint a house or a train. Depending on which carriages or rooms (in accordance with their importance) in which colors (warm, light or dark, cold) he painted, it is possible to assess problem areas. This technique is based on the well-known and popular Luscher test.

Eliminate the consequences

1. At the first opportunity - wash as fully as possible. Ideally, shower immediately upon returning home. But you can also just hold your hands under the running water in a public toilet. We kill two birds with one stone: we wash away the dust and potential viruses and slightly calm the autonomic nervous system.

2. Drink a glass of water. It was water, not something sweet.

3. Go after the theater on foot along the boulevards, do not immediately load into the subway or car, let the excitement turn from potential energy into kinetic energy. That is, to put it simply, run out and breathe.

4. The good old tradition of our grandmothers to give a sandwich in a napkin with them had an additional meaning (except for the main thing: to save money). Have a snack with long carbohydrates and protein (bread-cheese-butter), but do not overeat too much, so that later you will not feel sick. And it's better to eat properly at home.

SanProsvet-Bulletin

Young and not very young children perceive and process emotions with their bodies. Still, you must admit that we are much less likely to encounter serious tragedies than long-awaited premieres. And for some reason the elementary norms “when, where and how to take the baby” have ceased to be promoted. So I now remind the obvious:

• do not take children under three years of age;
• children of preschool age - only to specially designed events for them, if possible not far from home;
• try not to carry babies on public transport, especially on the days of national rejoicing.

Make sure that the children have something to breathe so that they are not hot. The main reason for hysterics in public places is the heat and stuffiness. A walk in the park with storytelling is much more rewarding for children up to about seven years old than any educational outings with a class. And go to the theater yourself.

EXPERT OPINION

Life Fuse

The question "to go or not to go?" no less sacramental than "to be or not to be." And it is up to the parents to decide it on a case-by-case basis. Whatever the child's temperament, you should not protect him from … life. If possible, it should be filled with parks, "fir-trees", theaters, a circus and even children's play centers. In addition to the obvious benefits associated with shared emotions and child development, visiting such places is a kind of "hardening" - both emotional and social. In other words, the child gradually begins to feel more confident, imagines what to expect from this or that place, stops worrying in vain and learns self-regulation. But this happens only if the parent is attentive to the child and observes the "ecology" of joint exits - chooses activities according to age, carefully observes the child's condition,at the first sign of overexcitation, he is ready to help with water, a sandwich and going outside. Therefore, I vote “for” joint entertainment with a child in a public space, but only if you remain a sensitive barometer!

Yulia VASILKINA,

family psychologist