To Play Or Not To Play? - Blogs

We dream of seeing our children successful, active, energetic. To do this, we load them to the maximum, so that "do not breathe" - study, dancing, drawing, foreign languages, sports. It seems to us that the more different activities a child attends, the more likely that he will be fully developed. We try to predict what he will need when he grows up, and we are very afraid of missing something.

Today the world is changing very quickly, and the knowledge and skills that were necessary yesterday may not be needed tomorrow. But flexibility, the ability to quickly rebuild, the willingness to innovate, to perceive everything new and unusual, sociability, the ability to achieve goals, and think outside the box are always in the price.

How do we hinder the development of these qualities in children and what should we do in order for them to appear?

It's all about

There is an old Russian proverb - "business is not changed for idleness." But if we, adults, no, no, yes, we allow ourselves to relax - "After all, I'm not a machine!", Then we are strict and ruthless with regard to children: "If the child is not loaded, he will sit at the computer all day." "Games are a waste of time …"

Alas, today the game is losing ground - every lesson should be of practical use, serve something and develop something. Our son draws fantastic castles on all his notebooks - we are taking him to an art studio; the daughter is spinning to the music in front of the mirror, depicting a princess at the ball - we enroll her in ballet. Even a walk with a child is no longer just a walk - we constantly teach him something and immediately check the "learned material": what is the name of the bird, tree, what color is the grass, etc.

If we deliberately leave schoolchildren no time for idleness and games, then we fill up the preschoolers with all kinds of "developing" toys: it is not appropriate for a child of the 21st century to play with pots and spoons - after all, they are not written "developing". A didactic, educational game for each age has its own, according to the rules, in steps, where everything is clearly arranged and thought out to the smallest detail - this is what the market imposes on us.

It would seem, what is wrong with the fact that children are busy with business? They do not waste time on computer "shooters" and do not chase the ball aimlessly, do not wander around the yards with friends, risking falling into a dubious company, they are constantly learning something, mastering something, comprehending, gaining new knowledge and skills.

With our pragmatism, eternal "must" and "must" we extinguish any creative impulses in children, and then we wonder why they grow up passive, inert, lacking in initiative. The child obediently does only what is necessary. He is always waiting for a clue: to the question "Do you want to draw?" answers "Why?" of red color.

The child loves his game, not because it is easy, but because it is difficult

Benjamin Spock

Social simulator

We do not understand, underestimate the greatest significance of the game. Meanwhile, for preschoolers, this is the leading activity, the best way of development. And at school age, it should not be deleted from life. Children play because they want to study and influence the world around them.

What is childhood without a game? Let's make a reservation right away: we are talking about free play - not standardized, not structured, in which the main thing is the ability to do the impossible. Within a quarter of an hour, you can fly to the moon and Mars, descend in a submarine to the bottom of the sea, be a marshal who conducts a parade on Red Square, etc.

In free play, important qualities are formed: independence, competence, independence, perseverance, ingenuity, and a creative approach to problem solving. This is not only a real "springboard for the imagination", but also a kind of simulator, where communication, behavior in certain situations are practiced, practical skills are tested. In the game, children willingly and with pleasure do what they still cannot do in reality, learn interaction, mutual assistance, calm attitude to both their own victories and defeats, and comprehend the “rules of life”.

In the game, it is important to realize your ability to influence the world around you - this is necessary for realizing your "I", for the formation of the child's personality: I hit the pan - and an unusual sound is heard, if there is no blow - silence. This means that my actions can change something both in the world in general and for me personally. And then a logical chain is built: I train - and start playing better football, study diligently - and get higher marks.

In free play, the child feels like a powerful wizard, arbiter of destinies and, having matured, largely thanks to this experience, he will be able to complete a seemingly impossible task, to realize the most ambitious goal. Not having experienced this in childhood, he will every time retreat before difficulties, justifying himself with "common sense."

Do not interfere with playing

We overwhelm the children with ready-made games, but we must give the opportunity to play spontaneously, to fantasize: a leaf is a plate, a stump is a table, a block is a typewriter. The dry branch first becomes a magic wand, then turns into a gun, and finally into a horse, on which you can ride along the path. The playful experience of such transformations is a very valuable experience.

If a child did not have free play as a child, it is almost impossible to compensate for this later. Play helps children to socialize, while lack of play, on the contrary, hinders socialization. The underplayed child is more difficult to fit into the team, because the fact that his peers "passed" in the game in the most favorable period for development, he has to master alone much later, and immediately in "combat" conditions, often having no room for error.

An interesting study was conducted by psychiatrist Stuart Brown. He interviewed 26 Texas prisoners serving time for murder and found that most of the murderers had two things in common: first, they were abused in their families as children, and second, they never played.

Brown didn't know which factor was more important. But since then, he has interviewed about six thousand people and, based on the data obtained, concluded that the lack of free play in an imaginary space prevents children, having matured, to become self-sufficient and balanced people.

Play is the highest form of research

Albert Einstein

Give it a mess

Time wasted, according to adults, is in fact incredibly valuable. For the future of children, it means no less than classes in circles and sections, because this is how they learn to manage their own lives. By playing, dreaming, exploring, they realize their inner potential. The child must have free time when no one hangs over him, when he does what he wants, or does nothing.

For some reason we are very afraid of boredom. And in vain: boredom is an indispensable element of development. If the child is not disturbed by anyone and nothing, there is an opportunity to calmly reflect. Canadian psychologist Gordon Newfeld wrote: "Development comes from a resting point."

As soon as our basic needs are satisfied, as soon as we feel comfortable and calm, we immediately want to learn or do something new. We cannot be in good shape all the time. Therefore, all of us - both children and adults - sometimes just need to "do nothing": relax, laze around, play, get bored.

We need to provide the children with a space where they can hide and be alone. When my oldest son was little, we bought a new TV. He was in a large cardboard box, which his son chose for games. It took up too much space and interfered with everyone, but I decided to leave it. The child climbed into the box and disappeared there for hours - for some time it became a place where he could hide, where no one bothered him. She stood with us for almost a year - until the son played enough.

Understand that children are really interested

Free play is important not only for the child, but also for us, parents. By carefully observing his game, we learn a lot: how our child lives, what is important and interesting for him, what his character, inclinations, preferences are. We will be able to see its true nature and already on the basis of this offer something, correct, determine its vector of development, and not impose what seems to us to be correct and necessary. The child should have the opportunity to look at the world with his own eyes, to make independent discoveries, to acquire his own experience.

When play is encouraged and children's fantasies are understood and supported, their play activities become more complex and varied. It would seem that the game is the direct opposite of real achievements, but it forms important skills - and this is also an achievement.

And of course, we need to find the time and energy to sometimes (just sometimes!) Play with the children - but play as partners, on equal terms, then we have the opportunity to establish a special contact with the child, participate in his life, unobtrusively help and guide him in the knowledge of the world.