Celebrating New Year With Love - Self-development

In the pre-New Year's bustle, you can see signs of mass psychosis. The celebration turned into a waste of money and a true celebration for the merchants. Well, isn't it strange to deny yourself everything all year, in order to squander savings at the end of December without looking back? And gifts are reduced to their value, not to feelings.

Miracle is the best gift

What is included in the traditional New Year's program? Launch fireworks, overeat to the point of nausea, "sit somewhere rich" … There is something archaic-pagan in this, like a sacrifice in the name of forgiveness of sins. A hysterical attempt to compensate for the time of intense and routine work throughout the year with the help of the most primitive methods of vital pleasure. And all this is performed as a duty, without true joy and pleasure; with a heavy and prolonged hangover. The urge "We must come off in full!" faces an inability to relax and a lack of healthy traditions and culture of entertainment.

Fortunately, there are still people who, in an incomprehensible way, manage to turn the New Year into a magical adventure, fanned with love and a subtle sense of miracle. I know a mother of two already grown daughters, who every time succeeds in surprising them in a wonderful way (if not to shock them), without repeating herself in her surprises even once! What these people do is not described anywhere - it is not technology, but love, realized through the ability to please. It is unlikely that this can be reproduced in other conditions, because you need to know and feel a person very well in order to organize a miracle for him!

Adults give, children receive

Recently I consulted a young man who told how, as a child, he was sure that he saw the red hem of Santa Claus's fur coat slipping out the window on New Year's Eve. And after that, the boy found gifts under the tree as material evidence that the fabulous old man really visited the house. The next day, the child talked about it to his disbelieving friends. In a heated dispute, it was decided to conduct an "investigative experiment" with an ambush on Santa Claus. Losing this dispute became a serious psychological trauma for my interlocutor and a milestone in the end of childhood. The disappointment and shame he experienced then did not kill his faith in miracles. It's just that a miracle has ceased to be embodied in an old man with a beard, but has become something indefinite, but still existing.

And he came for a consultation on a funny occasion. Some time ago, his parents left for three weeks, and during their absence the young man made a wonderful repair of the entire apartment with his own hands. When the parents returned and saw this beauty, they were shocked! What he did, they called a miracle, and he himself - a wizard! All this caused a flurry of experiences in the soul of the young man and even forced him to rethink his identity, which led him to a psychologist. And then I asked him: "How do you feel in the image of the one who was called Santa Claus in childhood, and later - something mysterious and incomprehensible?" - "I feel like an adult" - he replied …

Feast of the Unloved

Perhaps the celebration of the New Year with firecrackers, shouts, pranks is the implementation of a children's program? Are we still small? Young? Immature? Does a different attitude to the holiday require adulthood? Japan celebrates the common birthday of all children on November 15. Maybe New Year is our common birthday? And how we relate to him symbolizes how old we have reached? A person is psychologically stuck at an age where he was disliked. Given our historical background, it seems plausible to assume that people who experienced a lack of love in childhood celebrate this way. The peculiarities of the national New Year are a hysterical attempt to compensate on their own for what they did not receive from loved ones. These people did not have a mother who, like my friend, turns into a good sorceress for her daughters and husband. These people do not have love in their souls,which easily and naturally gives rise to creative methods of congratulations and gifts.

Psychologists consoles: first, awareness of the problem is a powerful step towards a solution; secondly, the fact that at a certain age a person has received less love is not a sentence. A person is tenacious, and his self-preservation instinct helps to find an opportunity to harmonize the situation, even with a minimal resource (like my client-student). Perhaps such a celebration of the New Year, no matter how childish it may look, is healing. We will win back, react, get enough, build up strength and take a step into adulthood, in which they hear you, even if you speak in a whisper. Because love amplifiers are not required.

Photo: Syda Productions / Lori Photo Bank