Santa Claus And Stockholm Syndrome - Reviews

Recently, a "New Year" commercial for the Credit Bank of Moscow appeared, replete with speculations on eternal topics like "daughter-mother", "awakening to life" and "everything will be fine." And immediately caused a violent reaction on social networks. We asked psychologists to comment on this story.

Katerina Demina

family psychologist

“The New Year's ad for Moscow Credit Bank is amazing. For five minutes, a completely demoralized viewer watches a high-quality, real, one-hundred-percent horror-thrash thriller on the theme “Santa Claus and Poor Girl Alice”.

At the beginning of the picture, we see a cyanotic and too small for her age girl, yearning in imprisonment in a high-tech tower of some metropolis, I believe in Moscow, but I'm not sure. Instead of the mother, some young witch appears, who spits the girl in every possible way, oppresses and does not love. And for some reason the girl continues to consider her her own mother. And he writes a tearful message to the almighty god of gifts - Santa Claus: "Dear grandfather, give me a good mother."

Grandfather, don't be a fool, he kidnaps this bad mother, for the next three minutes he subtly tortures her by wandering through the fields, swamps, forests and mountains, into the snow, rain, wind, and drags her along with him on a thick rope, like livestock that has strayed from herds. In the best traditions of kidnappers-maniacs, after long months (days? Hours?) Of torture, the kind Santa Claus feeds the unfortunate sheep with something like an onion. She, abundantly pouring tears of happiness over the food, eats and smiles brightly at her tormentor.

After that, the grandfather suddenly decides to make ends meet (strange, he's kind of immortal, because it's a myth), and before that he hands the poor victim of the Stockholm syndrome a letter from a girl. The poor thing, who has really gone on the roof, suddenly realizes what is the meaning of life, independently returns to the world of warmth, light and asphalt, and in the summer (Lord, thank you for waiting for summer, she would have to drag the child to her grandfather's grave in winter) brings her daughter to where she suffered so much, and cheerfully rolls her on her back with a whoop and squeal.

Slogan: “Time to think about the main thing”.

Who would argue, gentlemen, I think very well about the main thing when you are handcuffed to a radiator, your mouth is sealed with tape, and your head is noisy after a crack. Here you quickly realize that you shouldn't have borrowed money at 50% from bad guys “without certificates and guarantees”. But what does this dirty story of kidnapping and torture have to do with the complex topic of parent-child attachment?

I still have questions, don't disperse!

Where is the husband of this lovely young woman, the father of this lovely baby? Why is the heroine forced to work hard for days on end? Why, at the moment of abduction, she heart-rendingly screams “Mom!”, And not “Security!”? Or the police would have called at the worst.

In fact, if you stop flirting and look at this video as a reflection of the public unconscious, it is really very scary.

Too many unbearable loads are hung on a young woman: she must be attractive, thin, stylish, make a career, take care of the child correctly, and develop him comprehensively. And all this is all alone, because she has no one to rely on. Parents are either far away or absent, there is no husband, there is only a strict, not uttering a single word, but very cruel Grandfather-Ancestor, the incarnation of some Superparent. He demands and punishes, but he never offers any help, or care, or understanding. And he is still supposed to be loved and respected.

Who is this character? The God? State? Society as a whole?

He is endowed with magical power, he is all-seeing and omnipresent, he has the right to punish and have mercy. The traumatized, raped woman brings her little daughter to bow to his “holy relics” - a red cap left at the place of execution. For edification? To have someone to nod at? “If you don't obey - I'll call Santa Claus!”?

A very scary story. I hope its creators really smoked something outrageous, because if this video is shot soberly, - … God help us in the new year."

Dmitry Zanko

psychologist

“It's not very clear what this video is about. Because this is not about the bank and not about Santa Claus. Santa Claus is a wizard, he does not need to kidnap a woman, drag her through the mountains and forests, driving her to hysteria, and himself (if he does not portray himself) to a heart attack. This is a kind of observer in Big Brother's control room - the ideas are correct, but the manners are criminal.

What the authors wanted to convey to us remains a mystery, but a number of other questions do arise. Does Good with a capital letter have the right to do anything just because it is Good? So it is always not a matter of goals, but of methods. The two worst enemies always truly believe - each! - that the truth is on his side. Until we analyze the methods (who and how achieves this truth), nothing is clear. No, of course, on the eve of the centenary of the revolution, such an appeal as a warning may even be useful. But they won't take it as a warning.

Or is it a call to moms to “be more with the kids”? No, this is a story about “if you don’t devote time to your daughter - a guy with a beard will kidnap you and take you to God knows where”. Juvenile law enforcement on the march. In the next video, I would recommend a negligent mother - immediately to Solovki. For five years. So what?"

Olga Yurkova

psychologist, director of the Sisters, an independent charity center for survivors of sexual abuse

“I saw a lonely girl who wants to have a mother with whom she would feel warm, and that she was surrounded by her mother's care and attention. Unfortunately, her mother replaced this with donated toys, with which, alas, you cannot share your feelings and with which it is just as lonely.

The monster mom depicted in the video is more a theatrical reception than a real mom. And a collective image, somewhat exaggerated.

It seems that the authors of the video wanted to draw the attention of viewers to such a phenomenon as child abuse, and to one of its forms - neglect of the basic needs of the child (moral cruelty).

In this case, we see psychological violence, manifested in such aspects as:

• rejection of the child;
• long-term deprivation of the child of love, tenderness, care and safety;
• compulsion to loneliness.

The definition of neglect is the chronic inability of a parent or caregiver to meet the basic needs of a child for food, clothing, health care, education, protection and supervision.

In this case, we see psychological abuse - this is the mother's absolute emotional non-inclusion, her emotional coldness, indifference to her daughter's needs for attention and affection.

What is this behavior fraught with in the future for the girl? The following manifestations of such treatment are possible (single or in combination):

• delayed physical, mental development;
• nervous tics, enuresis;
• prolonged depression, sleep disturbance;
• aggressiveness;
• tendency to solitude, isolation;
• eccentric behavior;
• low school performance;
• decreased self-esteem;
• violation of appetite;
• suicidal threats / attempt;
• excessive compliance, ingratiating, obsequious behavior.

Agree that the desire to draw attention to this type of child abuse is commendable. But is it worth doing with every mother who does not realize the consequences of her behavior what the authors of this video are doing? They tried to create a foothold for such a mother on which she could experience everything that her daughter is going through. And then the alleged catharsis that happened to her during the period of trials will awaken her feelings and she will immediately become interested in her child and his inner world.

Alas! All of this is not true. And it is unlikely that such "forceful", and even illegal actions will be able to awaken warm feelings in her. The reasons for the emotional coldness of mothers are not so simple. And it is very difficult to recognize why this happened, even during psychotherapy sessions. And to correct this, it takes a lot of effort and time both on the part of the psychologist and on the part of the woman herself: to realize, accept and change. And it's laborious.

Violence breeds violence. And most likely, with the mother herself, they once acted the same way as she does with her daughter. Repeated violence, shown by the authors of the video as a possible correction of the mother's behavior, can only further embitter and exasperate her, but will in no way lead to the desired result - it will not teach her to treat her child with warmth and care.

But still. Despite the squalor, from my point of view, of this video, it caused a certain resonance that could draw attention to such a phenomenon as child abuse. And is it important.

It would be nice that women who have realized their similar style of behavior do not hesitate to contact psychologists. It would be nice if they came to communication groups led by specialists and where, in a safe atmosphere of confidentiality, they would analyze the origins of such behavior, where they could receive support and not judgmental, but understanding attitude of group members and their leaders. I repeat, this can be corrected, but not by the cruelty shown in the video, but by using special psychotherapeutic techniques."

You can watch the promotional video that caused a discussion here