Difficult Conversation About The Marriage Contract - Society

My boyfriend and I decided to get married. I would like to conclude a marriage contract. I understand that such a proposal can be perceived as distrust. I have real estate, the groom has his own successful business, he does not want me to work. But I know the statistics of divorces, and I want to play it safe. Alina, 29 years old

In your laconic question, I see three components. And by disassembling the question into these three parts, we can remove your concern.

So, first: you write that you understand that the proposal to draw up a marriage contract can be perceived as distrust. Understanding: for this we replace the word "I understand" with the word "I assume." Accordingly, taking the word I suppose as a basis, you can remove doubt by simply asking the groom how he relates to the marriage contract in general and in particular. I think you have the closest possible relationship to talk about it.

Next: you should answer the question to yourself - is it just the groom who doesn't want you to work, or you don't want to work either? It is very important not to feel hostage to your husband's wishes in the future.

And the last thing. I think that even the statistics themselves do not know the statistics of divorce. You should not collect this kind of information, especially on the eve of the wedding.

It is better to lay in your thoughts a successful and joyful scenario of living together, so that it will certainly come true

As for the marriage contract as such, it is nothing more than a document regulating the relationship, which is quite widespread in Europe. The contract just shows the sobriety of the judgments of the future spouses, and not vice versa.

PS The word “secure” speaks of mistrust on your part. Think about it.

I wish you, Alina, pleasant pre-wedding troubles and a long and happy life in complete understanding, love and happiness!

Photo: Sergey Galushko / Photobank Lori