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Video: Pressure From Superiors: To Understand, Survive And Overcome. If The Management Constantly Criticizes - Image, Self-development
Our life consists of about a third of work. And it would be great if this part of life did not cause anything but positive emotions. Alas, this is not always the case. And besides the usual professional troubles and problems, each of us probably happened to come under the fire of criticism and nagging of the authorities. Sometimes there is a feeling: "He / she is specifically persecuting me, no matter what I do, it is not so." What to do?
Step one: understand
In situations where the boss shows excessive severity to some of the subordinates, there is nothing surprising. Especially now, during the crisis (and it doesn't matter if you work in a private structure or a government office). As a rule, the point is not in some special fanaticism of the boss (there are, of course, just sick people - but this is already the area of interests of psychiatry). It's simple:
- First, every boss has a boss. Even the very, very CEO of the largest company reports to shareholders.
- Secondly, being "between two fires", the chief is responsible for resource allocation. “From above” he receives and distributes in his group all sorts of useful things like money, equipment and bonuses. And "from below" he collects and transfers to a higher level the fruits of your work. This is true for the capitalist States as well as for communist China. And for our country.
What happens during a crisis? That's right - less resources are lowered from above, and more results are required. And the boss is faced with the need to somehow reconcile this situation with reality.
And your boss, like all of us today, is infantile to one degree or another. That is, it is unpleasant for him to take responsibility for himself. As a small child to the joking question "Who wrote this in your pants?" dumps everything on the little brother …
The responsibility has to be passed on to someone. After all, you have to explain why there will be no more bonuses, and you have to go to work on weekends. The most correct thing would be to gather everyone and say: so and so, there is no resource, they ask for a lot - we survive, we endure. But this is, in fact, to sign that you did not provide this, did not agree, did not cover your own. I don't want to … It's easier to gather everyone and say: it's your fault - you can't work normally, you relaxed over the fat years. Here you are! And then make sure that no one even stutters about a bonus or an increase: there is still no resource for this. And if they ask, you will have to explain … So it’s better not to ask. How to achieve this? Constant pressure. When an employee is praised, he begins to think that he deserves something better and more. And if you constantly scold, he won't even have such thoughts, let alone demands …
So this is not a bad boss, this is life. And the fact that even in bad times you can act like a human being … So this is not his business.
Step two: get over
We are all human beings, all opinions about ourselves are made up of the opinions of our neighbors. And if your neighbor (and you see your boss almost more often than with some relatives) constantly says that you are doing something wrong, it is very easy to accept for yourself that something is wrong with you. Psychologists have long known that all people tend to confuse behavior with personality. If you did something wrong, it means that you yourself are such, clumsy, unprofessional, etc. Alas, schools do not teach you to distinguish between these two components of human life.
As a result, criticism, even just working criticism, causes problems with self-esteem. And in order to prevent them, you must always remember: it is not you personally who are being scolded. And not even him personally. It is the human function that carries out its tasks. And the real you have nothing to do with it. There is simply no resource for bonuses and promotions yet …
But self-esteem is self-esteem, and working in unpleasant conditions, even without money and a career, is unpleasant. And you have to do something.
Step three: overcome
I will have to answer myself two questions:
- 1. Are you the only one falling into such an attitude, or is it a "common denominator"?
- 2. Do you highly value this work?
Accordingly, we get four options.
The simplest one is that if you don't have to work in this particular place, there is somewhere to go or it will be nice without work. And an option if only you are being pressed personally. Then any recommendations are hardly possible here. The only question is - what are you still doing there? Are you getting masochistic pleasure?
However, it also happens that there is nowhere to go. There is no other job - the city is small or the specialty is rare.
This is more common in small teams where the boss is a woman (or demonstrates many feminine traits). Everyone gathers around the boss and begins to joyfully "befriend against someone." After some time, this employee is pitied, forgiven, allowed into the inner circle - and the next one is kicked out of him and they begin to "make friends against him." Although the option when the boss just finds fault with one subordinate, and the others do not help either one or the other, is also possible. But not for long. People who will gladly adhere to the persecution of another have been, are and will always be …
Each class has a student who is being crushed by teachers and other students. Such a common "scapegoat". Do you remember your school years? And you probably had one. Well, or in a parallel class. How long do these attacks last? That's right - as long as it's fun. How long is it fun? While the victim reacts. If it stops, very quickly everyone switches to someone else. Here the mechanism is the same: the point is not to do the job perfectly, but to prevent the persecutor from giving the reaction he expects. If every time after a comment you break into a hysterics - you need to do something about it, and not try to correct the "reasons" of the comment.
Another example from school life. Did you pass the difference between "reason" and "reason" in history? Here is exactly about it. Not about the quality of work - this is a reason …
If work is important to you and the attitude is common to everyone, then the recommendation is the same. Only everything is easier. The persecutor is one, which means that there will be fewer cases when you are attacked. The one who will react the most brightly will receive more (remember: nothing personal, who exactly to kick is not important for the boss; the main thing is that there are no problems).
So - courses of psychological training, yoga and other useful little things. If the resource does not allow, there is enough information on the Internet for independent actions.
If the job is not your dream job, but everyone is kicked, not just you … The question is the same as in the first paragraph. But - since the boss's attention is scattered, and you are personally kicked infrequently, it makes sense not to slam the door right away. Be smarter and more reserved. After all, it is just as convenient to send a resume from a work computer as it is from home …
Photo: © Darkbird77 / Lori Photobank