Country Wars: How To Make Peace With Neighbors On The Site - Society

For many years we have been at war with our neighbors in the country. This conflict passed to us from our parents. Instead of rest - sheer hassle. Oksana, 45 years old

The origins of the inherited conflict, if they have not yet become the property of history, then certainly have lost their relevance over the years. The problem of long-standing conflicts is that, having not found a peaceful resolution in the past, year after year, the incident has acquired new episodes, fueled by negative emotions, thoughts and actions on both sides.

Entering into a rage during a showdown, the parties to the conflict often confuse and confuse facts and their emotions and thoughts about what happened. All this forms an explosive mixture that is very difficult to neutralize. But with a strong desire to do this is possible.

Think, this is not your conflict, and it is completely unnecessary to continue it. You can, of course, try the strategy of avoidance (pretending that there is no conflict, do not intersect, ignore the problem) or adaptation (make concessions, “bend”), but it is better to try to apply the strategy of professional negotiators: the principle of “win-win”, or cooperation and compromise.

To begin with, take a detached look at the real state of affairs: "What we have today." Note for yourself what you do not like in the current situation, and what, in your opinion, is good in it, what is the past, and what worries you today. This will be the starting point.

Then be clear about the desired resolution of the conflict, be realistic and very honest. Think in advance what concessions you can make, and where you are not ready to "move" one iota. Since there is a second side to the conflict, prepare for an open dialogue with your neighbors. You have to find out what exactly does not suit them at the present time and what way out of this situation would suit them.

Most likely, you will encounter a very sharp emotional reaction from opponents based on facts from the past, feelings and speculation about this. Do not let yourself be carried away to a new round of confrontation, do not fall into emotions, do not argue, do not become personal, try to conduct the conversation in a rational manner in order to come to an agreement on the question "how we see our communication in the future." Let the neighbors talk, maybe even shout, and when the heat subsides, you can move on to a reasonable dialogue.

Do not forget that your task is not to "defeat" your neighbors, but to organize a comfortable resting space for your family

You may need to revisit the conversation several times, and the more calm and benevolent you are, the faster you will reach an understanding. It will be good if in the end you jointly develop a certain code, a set of rules for peaceful coexistence, adhering to which you will receive only positive emotions from rest in the country. Good luck to you!