The Power Of Habit: How To Get Rid Of Addictions - Society

How many people in the world can boast of the absence of bad habits? Perhaps a little. Many dream of getting rid of them, and if it does not work out, they are forced to experience negative consequences. Is there really no one-size-fits-all remedy that would help to part with addictions?

You can't erase a word from a song

Like any skill, a bad habit takes a long time to develop, through regular repetitions. As a result, this action turns into automatism - it does not need to be consciously controlled, it does not require effort and becomes part of our lifestyle. That is why, when we start a struggle and establish strict prohibitions for ourselves, resistance arises in response: you cannot just erase its essential fragment from life, just as you could not cut out a piece from a picture that you do not like. So instead of aggressively fighting habits and eventually coming back to them again and again, let's try an alternative way - acceptance.

Is she a substitute for happiness?

Accepting your bad habits means recognizing what needs are met with their help. What does this glass give you before bed? What sensations are you looking for in a monitor screen? Do you deal with stress more easily if you chew on a pencil while you work? Do not try to paint habits in negative colors, because if you consciously understand their purpose, you can understand how to achieve these goals with lower costs for health, wallet or reputation.

Test of strength

Sometimes bad habits help us in the process of identification - in understanding ourselves as members of a certain social circle. A common situation: it is customary among friends to spend evenings playing online, so I join them to experience belonging. Or, say, entering the circle of smokers, I have the opportunity to establish informal communication with colleagues during a traditional smoke break.

How to achieve the same results in other ways? Look for new types of contact with significant people. Challenging a group is difficult and sometimes scary, but it's a win-win. If, for example, you try to leave in communication everything except computer games, you will get a chance to discover new facets of friendship. It may even be possible to introduce friends to a healthy lifestyle, and if you decide to quit harmful activities together, group dynamics will make the task easier. If this option does not work, you will see more clearly who from the environment is really close to you, and with whom communication was kept in the balance of a bad habit. And then it will not be so offensive to limit contacts with your least dear friends.

Skeleton in the closet

Another variant of identification through bad habits, more dangerous and less understandable, is familiarization with family myths. It happens that a person unconsciously takes the path of alcoholism, gambling or work unhealthy, thereby placing himself in a harmonious line of ancestors with the same addictions. In this case, the so-called anniversary syndrome may appear.

What it looks like: for example, I know that in my family several generations of paternal men died at 65. And now I turn 60, and, anticipating the term "assigned" by family history, I unconsciously develop bad habits or even psychosomatic illnesses in order to join the bleak tradition by the age of 65. It is not easy to deal with this phenomenon; deep work is needed to study the family system, to process one's own values. It is very important to find alternative meanings that would help you feel that you belong to the genus without harm to your health.

I'm not myself without her

The extreme manifestation of a bad habit is addiction. A common trait for all addicted people is the feeling of their own inferiority without someone or something from the outside. When I do the action I need, I feel happier and in the illusion that this way I like myself and others more.

It is very easy to fall into such a trap, but it is almost impossible to get out without assistance. Especially if the addiction has moved to the level of physiological processes, when giving up the habit causes physical discomfort or even pain. In this case, there is no getting away from special rehabilitation programs, in particular, the famous 12-step programs have been confirming their effectiveness for many years.

At the same time, independent work is equally important. The first step towards change is to build self-worth. We must more often praise ourselves for any accomplishments and successes, please ourselves with pleasant leisure, give yourself gifts. It is imperative that we fill the gap in self-esteem where the seeds of bad habits have sprouted addiction. The main goal is to feel significant and loved without external reinforcement.

Hidden message

No matter how paradoxical it may sound, each of us needs bad habits for some reason. Do not judge yourself - instead, learn to first notice and be aware of what is happening inside you and what is missing. Start with four simple rules for developing mindfulness:

• Pay attention to your breathing regularly. Don't breathe deeper or louder - just listen to how you breathe. In this way, you restore the connection between body and mind and train your inner sensitivity.
• Keep a food diary. Do not chase diets and taboos. To begin with, record and analyze the current diet, so you will understand if you need to make any adjustments.
• Track your physical activity. Count steps, kilometers, steps, calories - whatever suits you best. Do not immediately strive for records, because your life may be quite active already.
• Look for sources of pleasure. Spend time doing what you really love and with dear people, admire the beauty around. If you can train yourself to be happy more often, this will be the best substitute for any bad habits, do not even hesitate.