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Video: Winning Grades - Society
School, lessons, homework - these words often terrify not so much the children as the parents. It’s mothers who are struggling with calligraphy skills, problem solving, projects around the world and, of course, with the English language. It is the mothers who do their homework with the child, using first a stock of affectionate words, then gradually moving on to shouting, insulting and even hitting them. And what are the children doing at this time?
They hover in the clouds, gnaw their hands, invent all kinds of entertainment. Children are ready to do anything, but not homework. Parents, in turn, try different ways, trying to turn their child into a round excellent student: both tough methods, the main attribute of which is the deprivation of a computer, tablet, and encouraging, with the promise of a computer, tablet or phone for good studies. They promise interesting trips, water parks and many other entertainments. But such measures of encouragement and punishment for some reason do not work or work for a very short time. Moms and dads are offended: they do so much for their child, and he is not capable of even the smallest thing - just study well and diligently do homework.
I do everything for him …
The main question that parents ask school psychologists, neuropsychologists: “What should be done so that the child learns, does his homework diligently and responsibly?”
Let's look at the psychologist's office, where the dialogue unfolds:
- I am worried that my son does not want to do his homework, he is completely indifferent to grades. He doesn't even see "dirt" in his notebooks. I do everything for him, actually chew and put it in my mouth. He writes each letter under my guidance. As long as I "stand over him," he succeeds. As soon as I leave, the training ends.
- Is your son asking for help?
- No, he doesn’t ask, he doesn’t care. He knows that I will help and so …
A pause, the psychologist thinks: maybe this is the case? Perhaps the child is sure that everything will be done for him and he has no need to work?
- You do not respond to help, but predict and actually do not your job. Imagine that all the work has been done for you and you have not put much effort into doing it. Can you consider this activity as yours?
- That is, doing the lessons is not his job, but mine works? And accordingly, the son does not bear any responsibility for her? But I'm afraid he will not be able to do the tasks himself, there will be dirt and a great many corrections in his notebook.
- You have deprived your son of the main school value - independence. Therefore, I hasten to upset you: if you do not stop doing your homework now, you will continue to study instead of your son for many years.
The goal of training is to teach you how to do without a teacher
Assessment for the narcissist
It is very important to teach the child to work independently: make mistakes, analyze, look for the right solutions and get pleasure from this - from the search for truth, new ways of solving, analyzing their own mistakes. The fascinating world of learning was forgotten by everyone and “turned into hell”, into agonizing quarters from vacation to vacation. And what is left for the parent? Help learn to learn. Support when the first setbacks, disappointments and self-doubt appear.
Why are modern parents so anxious about their child's education? As the gestalt therapists say, the background and the figure were changed. And the main criterion for this substitution is evaluation. It is the assessments that should determine the level of a child's knowledge that have become an attribute of parental narcissism. And this, of course, greatly interferes with the development and enjoyment of children at school. Parents are aimed at achievements, at fives by any means, for the child to be the best, successful.
In such a stressful situation, both children and parents cannot live peacefully and enjoy each of their work. But if you try to look at learning from the other side, without the pressure of society, stop controlling grades, you will see new facets of your children's capabilities.
Any parent can use neuropsychological principles in teaching. And the main one coincides with the medical one - “do no harm”. It is important to listen to the child and understand when he is overtired. Children feel bad about the body, often do not understand their emotional manifestations. Their behavior can serve as a marker of mental energy depletion. For example, a child may become capricious, start throwing tantrums, run aimlessly, make stupid mistakes when performing elementary tasks. This is a sign for the parents that he needs to activate the energetic activity of the brain.
How can an adult help a child?
The focus of perception should be the workplace. Pay attention to extraneous stimuli (window, wallpaper, toys on the table, unnecessary objects that can be distracting). Place a red or orange backing under the notebook. It forms a bright frame that helps to involuntarily focus attention on the space of the notebook.
To save mental strength, break the lesson into semantic parts. It is better to complete the most difficult tasks at the beginning and, if something does not work out, give the child time to reflect or briefly change activities. For example, instead of solving a math problem, switch to a project around the world. A small snack (biscuits, juice, fruit) also activates the subcortex. The brain responds with an orientation reflex and provides additional energy, which is accompanied by an improvement in attention.
Any rhythmic movements will help to screw attention. Playing with frets, tapping rhythm with your feet and hands, dancing movements to music or counting, imitating animals, birds, transport, and so on.
Green pen method
To develop attention, to activate the frontal lobes of the brain, you can use the "green handle" method described by Tatiana Ivanko.
It lies in the fact that when teaching writing, counting or any other activity, what is good at it stands out with green paste. Instead of highlighting errors with a red pen, we use green paste to focus on well-formed letters and numbers. The green pen helps to focus on what is doing well, and the child begins to strive for as much green as possible to appear in the notebook.
The green pen method rebuilds consciousness towards interesting, exploratory work. Lessons turn into a fun game. The “most beautiful number”, “miss letter”, “English queen”, etc. appear. Parents themselves are happy to join this game and begin to fantasize and come up with their own individual methods of interesting and exciting learning.
Helps to increase concentration of attention, increase motivation when doing homework.
The child, together with the parent (at the first stage), draws a segment on a piece of paper or on a blackboard. Then the segment is divided into several parts, which represent the stages of completing one lesson, for example, the Russian language. The first part of the segment denotes one of the elements of homework, for example, learning the rules in a given paragraph, 15 minutes are allotted for this, and the alarm starts. The child will be interested if it will be his personal alarm clock in the form of some animal, fruit, favorite cartoon character, etc. After the alarm has rang, the child can move to the next segment or add some more time.
The next segment may indicate working on mistakes of the past homework, writing the assigned text, etc. Do not forget to include small breaks in the timeline. At the end of the segment, you can draw or glue a figure that symbolizes the successful completion of the work.
Depending on the type of nervous system, the segments are ranked from simple to complex and vice versa. If your child is involved in work for a long time, then at first he can do easier tasks. And if he quickly begins to think, but just as quickly and gets tired, then it is better to move from difficult tasks to easy ones. When all the tasks are completed, you can turn on the melody symbolizing victory.
Method "Fun Competitions"
Forms motivation and helps to smoothly change the leading activity - from play to learning.
The days of the week take part in fun competitions. For example, fruits and berries will compete this week: Monday - symbolizes a peach, Tuesday - grapes, Wednesday - a plum, etc. You can place objects on a magnetic board, determine prizes - first, second, third. The parameters by which the days of the week will be assessed may include different criteria: homework, personal hygiene, school behavior. And, remembering the green pen method, the emphasis is, of course, on positive results. You can arrange funny competitions in the form of a colorful table, where the child will put himself plus signs or emoticons. At the end of the week, the results are calculated together with the parent, and the winning fruits are determined.
So parents can find out which day of the week is the most productive for the child, and when the child is overworked. If, say, Wednesday, Thursday or another day of the week loses in competitions during the month, reduce the load, postpone the attendance of the circles to other days, or even get rid of the unbearable burden.
There are a lot of methods to help you think and remember better. You can read about them in special literature or invent yourself. The key is to approach homework with creativity, curiosity and interest. However, try not to confuse the child's work with yours and set good grades as the goal of his learning.