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Video: Relationship Puzzle - Self-development
Many of us are overwhelmed with information and stressed. In the daily hustle and bustle, it is difficult to devote enough time to friends, relatives, loved ones. Six pieces of the psychological puzzle will help you build harmonious relationships with others.
1. Reasonable senses
Often we only listen to reason. For many, this approach is understandable and familiar. But when in our life only common sense rules the ball, we move away from feelings, push our emotions into the background.
What to do?
Take a few minutes to relax your body, tune in to pleasant sensations. There are various psychological techniques for this. For example, you can take watercolors and paint your anger on a piece of white paper. Draw without limiting yourself. And then take a piece of paper and wash off the paint under running water, imagining how anger and anger go away, float away. This is an easy and safe way to experience emotions. Then draw a picture of joy and inspiration. Consider a relationship with a friend or partner. Recall the pleasant moments of communication with him in your memory. Ask yourself the question: Do you trust him? What can bring you closer together again?
2. Balance "give - take"
When we don't love ourselves, the loved one feels it. We withdraw into ourselves, become restless, avoid companies. People around us feel tension and awkwardness in our presence. If we do not value ourselves enough, it can be difficult to accept the love of others, and this is a sure way to become a victim.
What to do?
Don't be afraid to open up. Learn to accept compliments and gratitude from others, appreciate the joyful moments of life. And reciprocate: it can be a bouquet of flowers, warm words in a note, a hug, a smile, a declaration of love just like that, for no reason.
3. Looking in the mirror
What delights or grieves us in others is in ourselves. Other people are simply reminded that these qualities require attention and reflection. If some traits of a person are unpleasant to you, try to assume that you also have this quality, but you do not want to admit it. People around, like a mirror, are called to help you see these manifestations in yourself and accept them.
What to do?
To see the reflection better, do the following exercise. Take a piece of paper and divide it into three columns. In the first column, list what qualities annoy you in other people. In the second, describe the times in your life when you showed yourself in the same way. Recognize that you have this quality too. In the third column, try to talk about all your "negative" qualities without judgment, without judgment. Let your inner critic go free. Admit yourself honestly about your "imperfection." Accepting ourselves in all manifestations, we more easily accept others.
4. Letting go of the past
The present can be negatively impacted by unfinished relationships from the past. People we still resent, towards whom we feel guilty. All this psychologically weakens and does not allow to move on freely. In addition, there is a risk of repeating mistakes in new relationships.
What to do?
An easy way to complete the past is to talk to the person. The conversation can be mental. Introduce this person and say what you see fit. Open up, be sincere, let your emotions find their way out. If you are very offended, forgive the "interlocutor". Thank him for all the good things that happened between you, for the valuable lessons in life, and mentally say goodbye. If this is difficult, you can imagine a rope that binds you, which you cut with a laser sword or a beam of light. You can return to this exercise until you feel liberated from the bonds of the past.
The main condition for beauty, its main principle is unity in diversity
5. Freedom from claims
If conflicts often arise in a relationship with a friend or partner, it is worth considering: perhaps you yourself do not voice your expectations, and when the person does not meet them, you are disappointed or angry with him.
What to do?
It is important to understand that other people have every right to do as they see fit and be who they are. You should not impose your ideas about life on others - this often creates unnecessary tension in the relationship. And if, as a result, you no longer have enough support, love and warmth, then you should not immediately demand all this from loved ones. On the contrary, take a look at yourself. Think: and you yourself are giving yourself these benefits, do you hear your desires, do you remember your dreams, do you speak them out? Others cannot saturate us with what we cannot give ourselves. And they certainly cannot give what they did not ask for.
6. Conflicts are a source of development
At the beginning of a relationship, we often try to show our best side. Sometimes we pretend, we agree to avoid disagreement. But time passes, and now it becomes more difficult to put up with the differences. Sooner or later, a conflict arises. This stage of the relationship should be perceived as an opportunity to learn new things, for example, take care of yourself, manage emotions, change something in life, grow internally.
What to do?
If you want to resolve the conflict, start with yourself. It is extremely unproductive to blame the other for the situation. This is how you get stuck in a stream of resentment and self-pity. But self-flagellation will not help, but will only add guilt and shame. Think about what is good about a conflict situation. What helps to understand about yourself as a person? What opportunities does it open up? Decide to rethink your ingrained habits and become more flexible. Perhaps the other person will feel your changes and will also correct something in their behavior.