Format Me With A Scalpel - The Quality Of Life

Nature is not always fair: some have a thin waist hidden by a thick layer of fat, some have protruding ears, and some have a nose like Cyrano de Bergerac. If a person is dissatisfied with his appearance, the doors of plastic surgeons' offices hospitably open before him. But before the decisive step, it is worth looking into a psychotherapist.

These days, lifting, liposuction and reshaping is no longer surprising. Despite the high cost, operations have become more affordable for the "ordinary" citizen, and the technique of execution and the skill of professionals do not stand still. But the scalpel is not a magic wand, although to some it seems almighty. There are problems beyond his control.

CONTRAINDICATIONS

There are two types of clients that plastic surgeons try not to mess with: dysmorphophobes and the "great reformers" who endlessly strive for perfection. Working with such patients is doomed to failure because they do not want to and cannot stop. As a rule, they are unhappy with the results and require another operation.

Dysmorphophobia is a mental disorder associated with excessive preoccupation with a minor defect or feature of your body. Most often it occurs in adolescents who sit for hours in front of the mirror in search of imperfections. But this disorder also occurs in adults.

Signs of body dysmorphic disorder:

• The “defect” is not noticed by others or they say that it is insignificant;
• low self-esteem;
• Difficulty concentrating on anything other than appearance
• "Sticking" to a mirror or, on the contrary, avoiding one's reflection;
• communication problems, fear of going out;
• categorical refusal to take photographs;
• thoughts of suicide.

If at least some of the items on this list seemed familiar to you, you need to immediately consult with a psychotherapist, and then decide the fate of your body.

BLACK LINE

People who are in difficult life situations, who have experienced the loss of a loved one, have separated from their beloved, tend to resort to changes in appearance. On the one hand, changing your hairstyle as part of a comprehensive work on yourself can have a positive effect. But only one external factor is not salvation from the experience of loss or depression. Moreover, if this is no longer a haircut, but plastic surgery. If you decide to start a new life with a “new face”, then the first thing you need to do is solve your inner problems. A qualified specialist can help you with this.

Possibilities of modern medicine

Plastic surgery, with a favorable outcome, solves two problems:

• getting rid of the "flaw" in appearance;
• liberation from complexes and experiences directly related to this deficiency.

However, like any surgical intervention, "plastic" is dangerous to health. And no one is safe from disappointments associated with the result.

“I have always been unhappy with the shape of my nose, but the positive experience of two of my acquaintances inspired me for the operation,” says Polina. - The parents were against it, but even they were satisfied. I began to like myself more and do not regret that I went for it.

Does successful plastic surgery affect self-esteem? Certainly. A person no longer constantly thinks about his "ugliness", ceases to be shy. But this is just some of the success that cannot be achieved without working on yourself.

If your fantasies take you to reach any heights or conquer hearts, then you are unlikely to be on the right track. A new appearance may expand your capabilities, but it will not guarantee that you will successfully use them.

- At some point it seemed to me that my husband began to lose interest in me. I began to take care of myself more thoroughly, decided to have a "lift" and liposuction. I wanted to awaken faded feelings. The change in my appearance was noticed by everyone except my husband. A few months later, I found out that he had a mistress, and I myself filed for divorce, - recalls Ekaterina.

By understanding your true goals, you will save yourself from mistakes. It so happens that the operation takes place without complications, the aesthetic result is good, and the client talks about "losing himself", about the feeling of guilt before the Creator, nature or parents. Some even ask to "return everything as it was."

5 QUESTIONS TO YOURSELF

Let's say you haven't discovered any alarming symptoms and are thinking about surgery. Take a piece of paper and sincerely answer a few questions:

1. Why do I want to have the operation?

2. Is it my own desire or is it imposed by someone close to me, advertising, the desire to be like celebrities?

3. What do I expect from the operation? What are my goals?

4. Am I prepared for the postoperative period and possible disappointment?

5. What do others think about my desire? Are they supporting me or trying to dissuade me?

Exercise "dress rehearsal"

1. Imagine that everything is over. The operation is over. You have already got rid of the bandages, bruises and pain … How do you feel? How do you perceive yourself? What is the reaction of your loved ones? You well? Or is something confusing? How are you in your renewed body?

2. Write down your feelings and impressions.

3. Once again ask yourself the question, "Do I really need this operation?"

This exercise really feels like a rehearsal of life after. At this stage, you can still refuse, change your mind, understand the ulterior motives. If you have the slightest doubt, take your time. In such a situation, it is better, as they say, to measure seven times.

CORRECT METHODS

Not all questions can be resolved in the office of a psychologist or psychotherapist. You can love and accept yourself with crooked legs, but this will not make your legs straighter.

A reasonable approach to solving the issue of plastic surgery is the same as in the fight against a disease: they resort to surgical intervention when it was not possible to cope with other methods. And if all thoughts revolve around a lack and you understand that this is what prevents you from living, you can go to a plastic surgeon. Not a single self-respecting specialist will profit from mentally unhealthy clients and, suspecting something was wrong, will offer to postpone the operation or consult a psychologist.

It is important to choose the right time for your surgery. Let's say in a week you have a wedding or a public appearance, then the swelling and bruising, which are inevitable in the first weeks after the surgery, you absolutely do not need. If you just got a new job, reports or important exams are ahead, it is better to postpone the procedure until quieter times. The stress of the surgery can be detrimental to your ability to work, and problems in school and work will put additional stress during rehabilitation.

Get the support of someone close to you. You may need help in the postoperative period, but an encouraging word will certainly come in handy.

In the first days, instead of a beautiful image, you will have to see a swollen face with bruises and bandages in the mirror, you will need to endure pain and put up with a partial loss of sensitivity. Be prepared for the fact that someone will not notice the changes in your appearance, and others may judge you.

MEANS AVAILABLE TO EVERYONE

Even the best "lift" will not prevent the appearance of new wrinkles if you frown and get angry all the time, and if you firmly consider yourself a failure, even the most correct facial features will not bring you success.

But in our hands there is one proven way: calmness, benevolence and a sincere smile in an instant, and most importantly - completely free of charge make us more beautiful in the eyes of others.

Surely among your friends there are not very attractive people who managed to create a happy family. And how a non-standard appearance helps to make a career, we constantly watch on television: comedians, the growing popularity of large-size models … There is something to think about.

If you started your transformation with the appearance, take care of the inner world. An ideal profile or breast shape alone will not help you achieve self-confidence, a new position, or love, and most importantly, it will not make you happier if there is a disorder in your soul and thoughts.

EXPERT OPINION

LOVE OR RECOGNITION?

In modern society, the concepts of love and acceptance are confused and the idea that you can love for something is widespread. Clients who are passionate about changing their own bodies are people who have a deep faith in this idea. The statistics provided by the author of the article confirms this fact. Establishing relationships with the opposite sex by straightening the legs, rhinoplasty, pumping out body fat or braces is, frankly, a dubious undertaking, although understandable. It is easy enough to live without admitting that your legs are the straightest in the world, but as soon as an illusory connection between straight legs and love appears, serious problems begin. Firstly, we all understand that plastic surgery does not contribute to the establishment of lasting relationships, and secondly, each of us has a need to be loved and accepted in the form in which we are.

Olga Sveshnikova,

psychologist, gestalt therapist