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How often in your life have you come across an understanding of the catastrophic difference between a man and a woman? Surely more than once or twice. And most likely, they asked themselves the question: how can you react in such different ways to absolutely obvious things?
The sooner we accept and acknowledge the fact of our differences, the faster we can manage this situation, or rather, we can become the authors of relationships - both in life and in the context of business or work. Correctly structured relations are important both there and there.
What do I mean? And to the fact that relationships are not built on their own. They need to be built. Any project begins with the awareness of point A - with recognition, mind you, not with resistance and war, but with the recognition of what we have. And at the initial stage, as a rule, we have completely different approaches, views and reactions. And the first thing you have to accept and say to yourself: yes, they are different, these people of the opposite sex.
My path to understanding basic truths was not quick. More than 10 years ago I became a leader in a skirt, and quite young. I don't know, knowingly or unknowingly, but I recruited 100% of men of different ages into my team. Perhaps I was looking for support and for me she was associated with men. Only I didn’t consider that I would become a leader for them.
From the first minutes, I began frantically trying to earn authority and make my men effective and at the same time satisfied. She put into action the whole theory of management and management, which she once studied for a long time and hard. In general, it worked out well, but sometimes behind my back I heard: "Okay, she's a girl, what can you take from her?" At these moments I wanted to sink into the ground. And in especially difficult cases, when the hole punches flew into the door closed behind me, the next day I didn't want to go to work, it was scary.
After some time, I stopped wearing skirts, cut my hair short, stopped showing any emotions in public, and hid my natural inclination for understanding into a backlog, which soon led to the fact that I completely lost control of the situation. They existed separately - I, separately - my team. The service manager seemed to be off the chain: he responded to direct instructions with instructions in response, to the strategic development plans presented to him, he informed that he had more important, more mundane things to do and plans. After one of the sales consultants, their eyes went out, the desire to strive for the first places in the sales rankings disappeared, the head of the spare parts department decided to go on a long vacation and leave the financially responsible department headless.
My affairs were bad. The moment came when everyone wanted to leave and run away. I practically did so, but, running away, on the way I met my leader, the owner of the business. He gave me wise advice more than once in my life, and this time was no exception. “Why are you limp? He began. - What did you dismiss your peasants? Where is your female wisdom? " I had no idea where my female wisdom had gone, but I decided to look for it.
Wherever I was looking! In psychological books, in the advice of older adult comrades. And the first thing I understood was that I must finally accept that I am a leader and a woman. This does not mean that you can be capricious and press on pity, which means that you cannot manipulate. You have to be honest and open. I returned the skirts, began to grow my hair and went to meet the fear.
Conclusion number 1 and my point A looked like this: I am a woman and I accept it, and do not resist and do not try to be someone else
Previously, it was always a shame for me that men could not guess what I needed as a leader. And I decided to stop hinting. I just started telling them what exactly we need and what needs to be done step by step for this.
Conclusion number 2: I do not hope that they will guess themselves, but I say out loud what I expect from them
Having shared some experiences with them, I used to be surprised every time: why are they doing what I did not ask them to do? And then she wondered again: why do they have absolutely no initiative, why everything that needs to be done must necessarily come from me ?!
Conclusion number 3 (asked for it by itself): I do not complain or share my feelings, I ask for specific help, clearly demonstrating that I cannot cope with something on my own
Another of my biggest discoveries was that there is nothing wrong with encouraging initiative, words of encouragement or praise. And that doubting your subordinates and thinking that you can do better yourself is fundamentally wrong. At one point, I decided that I would just believe in my men - to be honest.
Conclusion number 4 and the main one: I praise them, support any initiative, admire the results and honestly believe in their ability to do many important things on their own
In other words, I calmly and confidently delegate my powers to them, I step aside where they can do better than I do.
After some time, everything stabilized and I completely gave up thinking that I was a woman, and there were only men in my team. By the way, later I took more girls to my team. And she became one of the strongest and most united. The guys have been with me for 14 years, both during the crisis and during the ups, they went through fire, water and copper pipes. We are still very friendly and communicate, although we all work in different places. They have grown a lot, and I'm proud of them all. And the service manager who gave me instructions in return became my husband a couple of years later, and suddenly I managed to earn special authority from him.
Far to Yemen
In January 2015, the International Labor Organization conducted a regular tally of women in middle and senior management positions. In 80 of the 108 countries participating in the study, this percentage has increased in recent years. Experts are inclined to consider this a consequence of the introduction at the end of 2012 of the EU “female quota” (mandatory 40% of women on the board of directors of large corporations). It is gratifying that in the ILO ranking Russia occupies a worthy 25th place (39.1% of women leaders) not far from the United States (42.7%). The highest percentage is in Jamaica (59.3%) and the lowest is in Yemen (2%).
