Skinless Man - Interview

She is embarrassed to wear open dresses and loose hair in life. Crouches in group photos. Slouches when not on stage. Doesn't like to go shopping and measure things. And he is still ashamed of himself. One of the most beautiful, talented and intelligent women in the country, People's Artist of Russia Ksenia Rappoport told the journalist Katerina Gordeeva about the complexes of youth, the achievements of maturity and … people whose fortitude taught her to be more restrained about the imperfection of her own body.

BIOGRAPHY

Ksenia Rappoport was born on March 25, 1974 in Leningrad. She gained knowledge of the French language thanks to her studies at the gymnasium with in-depth study of this subject. Now she spends a lot of time in Italy, where she also mastered this language.

In 1991 (at the age of 16) she made her film debut in the film "Begone!" In the same year, the film "Russian Bride" was released.

In 2000, she graduated from the St. Petersburg State Academy of Theater Arts (SPbGATI) and was immediately invited to the trainee group of the St. Petersburg Maly Drama Theater, of which she is currently an actress.

2003 - Golden Spotlight Award for Best Actress (Elena Andreevna in Uncle Vanya).

2007 - Prize of the Italian Film Academy "David di Donatello" for the best female lead (film by Giuseppe Tornatore "The Stranger" (La Sconosciuta, 2006)).

2008 - Prize of the Kinotavr Festival for Best Actress (film Yuryev's Day).

2009 - Prize of the Venice Film Festival for Best Actress ("Double Time").

On December 15, 2009, Rappoport was awarded the title "Honored Artist of the Russian Federation".

In 2014, she became a laureate of the TOP 50. The most famous people of St. Petersburg award in the Theater nomination for her active work on the Board of Trustees of the Children of B. E. L. A. and the role of Ranevskaya in Lev Dodin's The Cherry Orchard.

OUR PSYCHOLOGY: It is amazing, of course, always, how embarrassed beautiful girls from intelligent families are. Why, well, why no one ever knows how to convince them that they are good, fresh, beautiful, finally? Why all this suffering?

KSENIYA RAPPOPORT: You know, this is really some kind of bad, but well-established tradition. Perhaps because in such families the emphasis is placed on the upbringing of "mental beauty", "inner beauty", which does not deny bodily beauty, but for some reason is opposed to it. As far back as I can remember, I have always been in terrible conflict with what I have been given physically. I dreamed of being a graceful, fair-haired, small creature, such a tiny elf to be carried around.

NP: I will never believe that they did not wear …

KR: Well, I'm a pretty big aunt … And in my youth I was just a mountain man. And I never wanted to be like that. And I tried to somehow shrink, hide. I was not at all satisfied with my curvy girlish forms. And I couldn't get on with all this in any way. Because of this, all the romantic stories of that period fell apart: when someone reacted to forms, I thought in despair: "Everything is clear - he does not see a person in me!" - and when they complimented intelligence or education, there was another despair: "I see, I'm a freak!"

NP: So there is no chance of becoming the very person in whom “everything should be fine”?

K. R.: Yes. But I still remember how my mother said: "The main thing is beauty inside." And this made it even more terrible: is there something inside? All the more beautiful …

NP: I can't believe that an actress who is admired by hundreds of thousands of people in Russia, Europe and America, the owner of hundreds of prizes in all possible nominations, is such a shy person

KR: I recently read a brilliant phrase in Kuprin's letters: "I am proud to the point of rage, and from this I am sometimes shy to meanness." So this shyness has a downside. The desire to be the best, "perfect". This term was used a lot in my family. You understand that you are not perfect, far from perfect, and you are ashamed, it is right up to physical pain: you want to disappear, to become invisible … There are people who know how to hide behind clothes. They create their own style - a spacesuit in which it is not scary to go into outer space. I have never been able to do this: my spacesuit has always been something black and shapeless. I didn't like everything else on myself. Perhaps the only bonus from my early youth was that I was very active in sports. And it still pays dividends: my body doesn't let me downeven when the loads are off scale.

PRIZES AND AWARDS

Laureate of the Triumph Independent Youth Prize (2004).

Award for Best Actress at the Moscow Premiere Festival for her role in the film Yuryev's Day (2008).

Laureate of the National Film Critics and Film Critics Award "White Elephant" for Best Actress in the film "St. George's Day" (2008).

Laureate of the Golden Eagle National Award for Cinematography for Best Actress in the film Yuryev's Day (2008).

Winner of the “Idol” award in the category “Best Actress in a Cinema” for her roles in the films “Liquidation”, “Yuryev's Day” and “Stranger” (2009).

Rome Citizens Award "Sympathy" (2009).

Laureate of the Golden Eagle National Award for Cinematography for her leading role in Two Days (2012).

V. I. Strzhelchik Prize (2014).

NP: But it is generally accepted that people in your profession are examples of narcissism. I'm not even talking about the purely technical ability to present oneself, to present oneself in the best possible light to the public, to the director

K. R.: In my case, it only means that my body, my face is an instrument. A tool that I need in my work and used every day. This tool must be monitored, looked after, protected. Age is increasing, and this concern takes more and more time and effort. But over the years, I began to calmly relate to my appearance - I understand what advantages I have and what disadvantages I have. But all this is in practical application to work.

NP: So you don't hunch over?

K. R.: I am hump if this is not a performance or shooting. Because in ordinary life, I'm just too lazy to straighten my back. Unfortunately.

NP: Do you squat in the pictures?

K. R.: I squat. Especially when I leave the theater and there are people who want to take a selfie. I have to squat, otherwise I just won't get into the frame with them.

NP: That is, the butterfly lightness of being was never achieved?

K. R.: Oh. You know, this will probably sound abnormal, but for me butterflies and everything connected with them are not at all a symbol of the lightness of being. It is a symbol of suffering and pain. Several years ago, as an actress, I was invited to read a couple of fairy tales about butterflies for a radio recording. On the recording, I met the organizers of the project - three amazing young women. And it turned out that the fairy tales were to be recorded to help children, who are called "butterfly children." These are children whose skin is so thin and vulnerable that any touch can leave a wound. The disease these children suffer from is called epidermolysis bullosa. In common people "pemphigus".

ROLE IN MOVIE

1991 - "Begone!"

1997 - Anna Karenina - Maria

2003 - "Daughter-in-law" - Lyuba

2004 - "Sissy, the Rebel Empress" - Maria

2004 - The Rider Called Death - Erna Bronstein

2005 - "Kazarosa" - daughter of Osipov

2006 - "Stranger" / La Sconosciuta - Irena / Irina Yaroshenko / Georgia

2006 - Ratatouille - Margot

2007 - "The betrothed-mummer" - Olga

2007 - "Swing" - Inna Maksimovna

2007 - "More important than love" - Veronica

2008 - "St. George's Day" - Lyuba / Lucy

2008 - "The Man Who Loves" / L'uomo che ama - Sarah

2008 - "Italians" / Italians - Vera

2009 - "Double Time" / La doppia ora - Sonya

2010 - “Fairy Tale. Yes "- head teacher

2010 - "Golden Section" - Marie

2010 - "Father and the Stranger" - Lisa

2011 - "2 days" - Masha

2011 - Rasputin - Munya Golovina

2012 - "Nowhere to hurry" - actress Anna Feofanova (short story "The Tunnel of the Savior")

2012 - "Gulf Stream under the Iceberg"

2013 - Ladoga - Olga Kaminskaya

2014 - "There are Four of Us" / Noi 4 - Lara

2014 - "Ice Forest" / La foresta di ghiaccio - Lana

2014 - "The Invisible Boy" / Il ragazzo invisibile - Elena

2015 - "Mom Daragaya!"

NP: Before this entry, did you know anything about the existence of such people?

K. R.: No. Absolutely nothing. We talked for several hours that day. I learned about how these children get sick and suffer. How much they and their families are deprived of any kind of help - medical, material, and psychological. And what can be done to ease their suffering. And then for several days I sat on the Internet and read, read, read: the forums of the mothers of these children, their letters that are on our website, I looked at the photographs … At first I just went crazy, I could not cope with this that befell me knowledge … Why? How?! Why is this unbearable suffering to a small child ?! How does he live, if, with any pressure, when the seam of the undershirt is rubbed against the skin, an injury occurs and the skin begins to peel off. It's like a fourth degree burn. A man without skin.

NP: After learning about these children, you became the trustee and even the “face” of the BELA Foundation, which helps the “butterfly children”

K. R.: I needed to do something about it. It was me, not them. I met Yulia Koptseva, Alena Kuratova, Natasha Lazarenko and several other amazing people who organized the BELA Foundation. Butterfly children. And she began to do what she could be useful to them. It was a great revelation for me to find out that there are many ways to help these children. I am talking mainly about children, because, alas, with such a disease our “butterflies” very rarely live up to adulthood … I have visited families, orphanages, where there are “butterflies” - refuseniks, and gradually I learned not to burst into tears, but to act.

NP: And not even be afraid to pick it up? After all, this is a normal reaction when you see a child: you want to hug him

K. R.: Now I already understand how it should be done. And that you can do this if the children are properly bandaged. And that in general, if you start to bandage correctly from birth, it will make their future life easier. But for this we need to make a diagnosis (we are now teaching this to doctors all over Russia) and choose the right dressing materials. Their cost per child is from 30 to 250 thousand rubles per month. The foundation is in charge of about 300 children. This is a lot of money. And the fund really needs constant, even small donations. For four years, we have developed a strong team, which includes doctors, nurses, volunteers. And we understand that just raising money for dressings is not enough; the situation with such patients in Russia needs to be radically changed. It is necessary that hospitals with specialized departments, specialists, doctors,and most importantly, state aid to such families.

TV SERIALS

1999 - "Agent of National Security" - Tanya (series "Three days before the air")

2001 - “Gangster Petersburg. Movie 3. The Collapse of the Antibiotic "- Rachel Dallet

2002 - "Named Baron" - Deborah

2003 - "Don't quarrel, girls" - Sonya Skvirskaya

2004 - "Death of the Empire" - Alina Gorskaya

2005 - "Yesenin" - Galina Benislavskaya

2005 - Citizen Chief 2 - Anna Carnot

2007 - "Liquidation" - Ida

2008 - Isaev - Lydia Bossé, singer

2012 - "White Guard" - Elena Vasilievna Turbina-Talberg

2012 - "After School" - Zhanna Ivanovna, head teacher, teacher of Spanish

NP: And probably the proximity of such suffering reconciles with any shortcomings in your own body

K. R.: These are incomparable things. How can one compare some speculative feelings about the imperfection of a healthy body with the fact that, for example, one of our wards writes: “Most of all I feel sorry for my mother, whom I have to call for help at night so that she would unstick the sheet from my back, because I I can't do it myself. " And yet, living with daily, every minute physical pain, they know how to love life and enjoy it. Probably, it was only thanks to these children that I understood what Oscar Wilde meant when he said: "He who separates soul and body has neither soul nor body." Instead of joy, their body gives them exclusively pain, but the soul … It seems to me that from this their soul is somehow completely differently crystallized, and is light and tangible.

NP: In this sense, the cliché about artists as people without skin …

K. R.: It is completely untenable. That is a profession. And this is real life. And during the few years that I have been trying to help the BELA Foundation, I have become a hundred times more calm about my life's troubles of any kind. I can't seriously worry about the appearance of extra wrinkles on my skin when I know that someone simply does not have this skin.

NP: And people, especially women actresses, are ready to give up half their kingdom to look 30 at 60 …

KR: I have just watched Scary Tales by Italian director Matteo Garrone. There is one of the ballads just about how two old sisters, obsessed with the desire to return youth, are close to realizing this dream. And one is faced with magic and becomes young for a moment. And the other … The other lets you skin your skin alive, just to get a chance to look younger. And he doesn't. It's great that both old ladies are played by young and beautiful actresses. This is an amazing directorial decision.

NP: So you are not afraid of changes associated with the influence of time and other environmental factors on your appearance?

K. R.: Well, of course, these changes do not make me happy, especially when something starts to hurt somewhere. And I want to be healthy and strong as long as possible and so that the children say: "Mom, you are so beautiful in this dress!" And then I understand that, of course, “stop, a moment” is good. But it would be much better and more correct if everything just happened more slowly. So that everything has time: live, breathe, grow old. And enjoy these processes.

NP: So no psychologists?

K. R.: I, of course, like many, had experience - I turned to psychologists. But this cooperation did not work out. This is my fault. You should go to a psychologist not for personal communication, but for professional advice. Not to speak out, but to solve the problem. For example, when a person goes to confession, he confesses not to the priest, but to God. It is the same with a psychologist. You should not evaluate his personal qualities and expect that you will like him. You shouldn't like a psychologist, he should have information, knowledge that can help you. We must work with this information, and not cry into the vest.

NP: And of course you want to cry?

K. R.: Almost always. But this seems to me to be completely normal. The ability to cry out of sympathy, empathy, affection or joy is the ability that distinguishes living people in us.

EXPERT OPINION

IF THE GIRL IS OFFENED …

It so happens that girls who have received the message of their parents “the main thing is what is inside, not what is outside”, interpret it as “you are not beautiful, therefore you must achieve success with work and perseverance”. They form an explosive mixture of perfectionism, shame for possible mistakes, self-distrust and low self-esteem. If such a girl finds her job, realizes and opens up, then as a "consequence" of parenting she gets the ability to empathize, the willingness to help others, the desire to improve the world. But at the same time, she denies herself the right to complain, ask for support, whine. Everyone has the right to whine, and sometimes this can only be done in a safe place like a psychologist's office. To come there only to work, to solve problems, to “forge” oneself means to push the offended girl deeper,which in childhood was not said that she was beautiful!

Inga Admiralskaya,

psychotherapist, PhD