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Video: New Land - Blogs
Video: LIVE From our New LAND 2023, March
Anonim

The concept of motherly love - accepting, caring - is etched in everyone's soul. But what does fatherly love give?

The palette ranges from a strict, demanding father to a Sunday holiday dad who shares only pleasure and entertainment with children, and redirects the routine of homework to a woman.

Is there something specifically masculine in paternal love, or is it different for everyone, and man and woman learn how to complement each other as parents?

Psychologists agree for sure that the healthy development of the child depends on the father. Dad is closer to society, he helps the child to break away and abandon the exclusive "relationship with mom", this "third" position becomes reflexive, it allows you to observe the relationship of two and provides powerful stimuli for the development of intelligence!

In a herd of baboons, after the offspring appear, females and older children form an "inner circle", in the center of which the cubs. All attention of females is focused on their safety, males sit at a distance, with their backs to them, to prevent danger. Something similar has survived in human society: as a rule, fathers are responsible for the family and its relationship with society. The mother is more busy with the child. The very perception of men and women is configured differently: women wake up more easily from rustles in their immediate surroundings, men turn off completely during the rest period. The researchers explain this in such a way that in the cave, control is necessary constantly, and in the hunt, periods of quick, accurate and intense action are more important, after which it is necessary to recover well. Women better distinguish shades of tones and sounds, men better understand the direction of the sound source. Thus, scientists motivate why it turns out that it is the woman who is responsible for the child at night: she wakes up faster, more easily recognizes by tone what happened and what needs to be done. However, the peculiarity of the human species lies in its extraordinary learning ability: in those couples where the father and mother share night shifts, the father very quickly learns by the tone of sounds to distinguish where the child is just tossing and turning, and where something urgently needs to be done so that he does not cry and did not wake up completely. The mother on such nights sleeps deeply, without the usual alertness.in those couples where the father and mother share the night shifts, the father very quickly learns by the tone of sounds to distinguish where the child is simply tossing and turning, and where something urgently needs to be done so that he does not cry and wake up completely. The mother on such nights sleeps deeply, without the usual alertness.in those couples where the father and mother share the night shifts, the father very quickly learns by the tone of sounds to distinguish where the child is simply tossing and turning, and where something urgently needs to be done so that he does not cry and wake up completely. The mother on such nights sleeps deeply, without the usual alertness.

Other studies show that men who work with their wives to prepare for childbirth, participate in childbirth and spend a lot of time with their newborns even have a drop in testosterone, which is responsible for aggressiveness and competitiveness, and cortisol, a stress hormone, but estrogen levels increase. contributing to emotionality. That is, the father's biological apparatus instinctively tunes in to take care of the child and his mother, and in this the father is close to the mother.

Fathers are more prone to "love at first sight" than mothers. Many fathers say that they do not know how to cope with their feelings: one starts calling, spreading the news around the world, the second hides behind the camera's eye "to record these first important moments of life," the third runs to the store to shop. A familiar man said that after he accepted his son, returning home, guided by some instinctive force, he marked all the corners of his land. This archaic action at that moment had a deep, almost sacred meaning for him. Activity is a familiar way for men to deal with feelings. It is important that these first minutes, hours and days the father is not very active, but as much as possible stay with the new family, plunge into the feelings arising from contact with the baby and mother,then from the very beginning a unique relationship of the newborn with each parent develops, because the child is given two: mom and dad.

Of course, the function of protecting and caring for the family is the most important thing in which paternal love is crystallized. But the child's face shines with a very special joy when he sees his beloved dad, not at all because he understands: "Dad protects and provides me." If we closely observe the parents' games and activities with the child, then mothers, in comparison with fathers, prefer quiet activities where they adapt to the child and complement his behavior, while fathers take the initiative and prefer “wild” games with a lot of motor skills. Typical picture: a father throwing a child into the air, who is bursting with laughter. In an interesting way, behavior changes in those couples where the father takes care of the children and the mother goes to work. Then he plays quiet games, and his mother jumps, stomps and hunts with the children, returning from work. It is clear that the onethose who have spent the whole day at home with their children are no longer able to do this. But a child needs these phases of increased motor activity for development and health, and this is instinctive wisdom when the mother is eliminated and, even if she cannot look calmly at what the father is doing with the child, does not interfere with the father's “wild” games. Precisely because these active phases are possible, there are periods of rest with the other parent between them.

Children need fathers with their specific paternal love. And fathers need children! A child gives a man a new territory for feelings: surprise, joy, openness, a whole range of new feelings - the more, the earlier their Meeting begins.

PROTECTION AND CARE

This first time is impossible to forget. All three of us were completely exhausted by childbirth, slept a lot, all three in the same bed, embracing tenderly. Finally, I could feel my child, hold him, do something for him that does not depend on hormones. Of course, I also took care of my beloved. It is incomparable with anything when you bring her to drink, and in bed - these two, my family. Something in me froze and really exploded, so much tenderness and at the same time responsibility for both. Indescribable. I would not want to forget this time, I want to remember it even now, in tense everyday life, when everything is not at all so sublime.

Nikolay, 37 years old

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